Parenting & Society: Why My Kids Are NOT the Center of My World (TheMetzFamilyAdventures)

Don't let the title confuse you. This article is really a thought provoking piece. It takes a hard critical look at parenting and the society. The issue affects the west most but its fast creeping into the African setting. Please if you love your children take your time and read this to the end, it'll definitely teach or unteach you for the greater good of parenting in particular and the society at large. I don't have kids now but I 'definitely plan to over-parent or over-pamper them. A little pain is good for learning.

Wait, what did she say?  Yeah, you read that right. 

This blog post is a bit of a rant and it's a bit all over the place. My kids are NOT the center of my world, and that's quite simply because they aren't the center of any world, anywhere.

 

If you're feeling adventurous today, feel free to read on. I'll forewarn you though, this post contains subject matter about which I feel very strongly.  As are most emotionally heated issues - I suppose it's controversial.  But hey, I feel how I feel and that's not going to be changed.

 

The emotions that sparked this blog post were given a little bit of a supercharge last evening.  Hendrix was picking out what he wanted to take to school for Show & Tell.  He chose a little Imaginext action figure - one that he's had for about two years now.  With the action figure comes a little yellow object.  For the two years that he's had this toy, that yellow object has always been a drill to him.  He gathered the action figure, the mask that goes with him, and the yellow drill and proudly told me he'd chosen that for Show & Tell.  Then, you could see him thinking.  And he promptly changed his mind and said to me, "You know what, I better not take this.  My teacher will probably think it's a gun, and then I'll get in trouble," put the action figure back, and chose something else.

 

I often think about the world my boys will grow up in.  I often get angry when I think about it.  This particular situation just furthered those emotions for me.

 

In completely selfish terms, bringing my boys into this world was such a great decision - for me.  They bring me so much joy, they fill my heart, they make me happy.  But I often question whether or not it was the right decision for them.  My boys are typical little boys.  They love to play guns.  They love to play good guy versus bad guy.  They love to wrestle and be rowdy.  That's the nature of little boys, as it has been since the beginning of time.

 

How long will it be before their typical boy-ish behavior gets them suspended from school?  How long before they get suspended from daycare???  How long will it be before one of them gets upset with a friend, tells that friend to go away and leave them alone, and subsequently gets labeled as a bully?

 

The mentality of our society in 2013 is nauseating to me, friends. 

 

Many years ago, there was a time where young boys could run around with their toy guns, killing the bad guys.  You could take the toy guns away from the little boys, and they'd find something else around them - a stick, their fingers, etc -  and pretend it was a gun.  Today, those little boys - if caught doing that - are labeled as threats, and immediate action is taken to remove that threat from the group.

 

There was a time - not too long ago - when bullying was defined as slamming someone up against a locker and stealing their lunch money.  There was a time when kids got called names and got picked on, and they brushed it off and worked through it (ask me how I know this).  Now, if Sally calls Susie a bitch (please excuse my language if that offends you), Susie's whole world crumbles around her, she contemplates suicide, and this society encourages her to feel like her world truly has ended, and she should feel entitled to a world-wide pity party.  And Sally - phew!  She should be jailed!  She should be thrown in juvenile detention for acting like - gasp - a teenage girl acts.

 

Modern parenting and thinking makes me crazy.  The young generations of today (yes, I sound old.  I realize I'm only 29 years old.) are being taught that they shouldn't have to ever put up with anything doesn't make their hearts feel like rainbow colored unicorns are running around pooping skittles onto piles of marshmallows.

 

Modern parenting is creating a generation that's not going to be able to function in society.

 

  Your child, who you cater to every need, who you shelter from all things "evil."  How will this child react when he or she grows into adulthood?  "Debbie" graduates from high school and goes to college.  She writes her first paper and meets with her professor about that paper and the professor tells her that it's junk and it will get a failing grade.  How will Debbie cope with that if she's always been made to feel that no one should ever make her feel sad, or criticize anything she does?

 

"Donna" graduates from college and gets a job - you know, in the real world.  She has to work on a committee to come up with a marketing plan.  She shoots out an idea, and it gets immediately turned down.  What is she to do?  Go home and cry because no one liked her idea?  Quit her job because she can't handle rejection?

 

Modern parents, who drop everything all the time to sit and play with the child, who "needs attention," or drop what they're doing to help the child the second he or she gets frustrated?  How is Joey going to deal with the fact that there won't be anyone in his adult life who's willing to stop what they're doing, stop living their busy lives, to cater to his every whim?

 

How do you think Billy is going to cope in the real world, when his boss gives him a vague task to complete, and offers no helpful information as to how to complete this task?  Mr. Boss is certainly not going to hold Billy's hand and help him through the task.  Mr. Boss expects it to be completed by Monday.  How has Billy been prepared to use his critical thinking and problem solving skills to be able to complete that task?  He hasn't.

 

I certainly hope that the title of this blog post is starting to make sense.  Parents who make their children the center of their universe are not doing anyone any favors.  Obviously, as parents, we love our children more than anything.  But dropping everything to cater to their every need is only going to lead to a very rude awakening once they enter the real world.

 

I'm not telling anyone how to parent, and I'm far from perfect myself.  But when my kids can't find something, I refuse to help them until they've at least made a concerted effort to find it themselves.  This isn't being mean, it's teaching them to at least attempt to solve a problem themselves before just giving up and asking for help. 

 

When the TV gets turned off after the allotted time on the weekends, my kids are instructed to go play together in their room.  I love and miss them during the work week, but I am not just a mom, I'm also Matt's wife, I'm also Stephanie, and I also run our household.  There are things I have to get done, and my boys understand that.  My children - while Matt and I  both spend time playing with them - understand that the world doesn't begin and end with them.  This allows them to find ways to entertain themselves, it builds imagination, and it teaches them to get along with each other without constant intervention.

 

We follow the rules and don't take toy guns or weapons to daycare.  But I'll be darned if my boys aren't allowed to be little boys when they're at home.  They have several toy guns and it's constantly a good guy vs. bad guy battle in my house.  I feel like this teaches them to do the things they want to do, while respecting other's rules and regulations.  It also teaches them that there are differing opinions about things in this world and that's ok.  We can like and believe in the things we want, while respecting that others may not agree with us.

 

My children are all but ignored when they ask for something without using manners.  They understand that when someone addresses or speaks to them, they are to speak back.  When we go out to eat, we don't take 5 electronic devices to keep them "entertained" for the 15 minutes we have to wait for our food.  If Hendrix is "bored" (and I use that term loosely), then he can put on his jacket and go play outside.

 

Everyone parents differently, and I respect that. The current generation may be one that expects nothing less than everything from this world.  But I know of two gentlemen that are going to be able to accept failure and move on having learned something from it. 

I know of two gentleman who will be hurt emotionally, but who will be able to work through the hurt and carry on with life.  I will cushion the emotional fall as much as a mom can, but I will not completely prevent it from happening. They will not expect whoever hurt them to be punished.  Heck, I might even teach my children the power of forgiveness. 

These two gentlemen will understand the value of hard work, and know that hard work is required to get where one wants to be in life. 

They will, while understanding the need for caution, appreciate that not everyone out there is out to get them.  Not everyone is out to do evil things. 

These gentlemen will understand that there are about a gazillion people in this world.  While they are incredibly special to me and my family, they are not special to the world.  That probably sounds terrible, but people!  It's the harsh truth, and it needs embraced!

I know that I can't change the mindset of modern parents.  That's never been and never will be my goal.  I just want to make sure that I raise my sons to grow into respectable men who can thrive and succeed, due to having been prepared to do so.

My kids are not the center of my world because I love them enough not to allow them to be.

Have a great weekend, friends.

Parenting & Society: Why My Kids Are NOT the Center of My World (TheMetzFamilyAdventures)

Don't let the title confuse you. This article is really a thought provoking piece. It takes a hard critical look at parenting and the society. The issue affects the west most but its fast creeping into the African setting. Please if you love your children take your time and read this to the end, it'll definitely teach or unteach you for the greater good of parenting in particular and the society at large. I don't have kids now but I 'definitely plan to over-parent or over-pamper them. A little pain is good for learning.

Wait, what did she say?  Yeah, you read that right. 

This blog post is a bit of a rant and it's a bit all over the place. My kids are NOT the center of my world, and that's quite simply because they aren't the center of any world, anywhere.

 

If you're feeling adventurous today, feel free to read on. I'll forewarn you though, this post contains subject matter about which I feel very strongly.  As are most emotionally heated issues - I suppose it's controversial.  But hey, I feel how I feel and that's not going to be changed.

 

The emotions that sparked this blog post were given a little bit of a supercharge last evening.  Hendrix was picking out what he wanted to take to school for Show & Tell.  He chose a little Imaginext action figure - one that he's had for about two years now.  With the action figure comes a little yellow object.  For the two years that he's had this toy, that yellow object has always been a drill to him.  He gathered the action figure, the mask that goes with him, and the yellow drill and proudly told me he'd chosen that for Show & Tell.  Then, you could see him thinking.  And he promptly changed his mind and said to me, "You know what, I better not take this.  My teacher will probably think it's a gun, and then I'll get in trouble," put the action figure back, and chose something else.

 

I often think about the world my boys will grow up in.  I often get angry when I think about it.  This particular situation just furthered those emotions for me.

 

In completely selfish terms, bringing my boys into this world was such a great decision - for me.  They bring me so much joy, they fill my heart, they make me happy.  But I often question whether or not it was the right decision for them.  My boys are typical little boys.  They love to play guns.  They love to play good guy versus bad guy.  They love to wrestle and be rowdy.  That's the nature of little boys, as it has been since the beginning of time.

 

How long will it be before their typical boy-ish behavior gets them suspended from school?  How long before they get suspended from daycare???  How long will it be before one of them gets upset with a friend, tells that friend to go away and leave them alone, and subsequently gets labeled as a bully?

 

The mentality of our society in 2013 is nauseating to me, friends. 

 

Many years ago, there was a time where young boys could run around with their toy guns, killing the bad guys.  You could take the toy guns away from the little boys, and they'd find something else around them - a stick, their fingers, etc -  and pretend it was a gun.  Today, those little boys - if caught doing that - are labeled as threats, and immediate action is taken to remove that threat from the group.

 

There was a time - not too long ago - when bullying was defined as slamming someone up against a locker and stealing their lunch money.  There was a time when kids got called names and got picked on, and they brushed it off and worked through it (ask me how I know this).  Now, if Sally calls Susie a bitch (please excuse my language if that offends you), Susie's whole world crumbles around her, she contemplates suicide, and this society encourages her to feel like her world truly has ended, and she should feel entitled to a world-wide pity party.  And Sally - phew!  She should be jailed!  She should be thrown in juvenile detention for acting like - gasp - a teenage girl acts.

 

Modern parenting and thinking makes me crazy.  The young generations of today (yes, I sound old.  I realize I'm only 29 years old.) are being taught that they shouldn't have to ever put up with anything doesn't make their hearts feel like rainbow colored unicorns are running around pooping skittles onto piles of marshmallows.

 

Modern parenting is creating a generation that's not going to be able to function in society.

 

  Your child, who you cater to every need, who you shelter from all things "evil."  How will this child react when he or she grows into adulthood?  "Debbie" graduates from high school and goes to college.  She writes her first paper and meets with her professor about that paper and the professor tells her that it's junk and it will get a failing grade.  How will Debbie cope with that if she's always been made to feel that no one should ever make her feel sad, or criticize anything she does?

 

"Donna" graduates from college and gets a job - you know, in the real world.  She has to work on a committee to come up with a marketing plan.  She shoots out an idea, and it gets immediately turned down.  What is she to do?  Go home and cry because no one liked her idea?  Quit her job because she can't handle rejection?

 

Modern parents, who drop everything all the time to sit and play with the child, who "needs attention," or drop what they're doing to help the child the second he or she gets frustrated?  How is Joey going to deal with the fact that there won't be anyone in his adult life who's willing to stop what they're doing, stop living their busy lives, to cater to his every whim?

 

How do you think Billy is going to cope in the real world, when his boss gives him a vague task to complete, and offers no helpful information as to how to complete this task?  Mr. Boss is certainly not going to hold Billy's hand and help him through the task.  Mr. Boss expects it to be completed by Monday.  How has Billy been prepared to use his critical thinking and problem solving skills to be able to complete that task?  He hasn't.

 

I certainly hope that the title of this blog post is starting to make sense.  Parents who make their children the center of their universe are not doing anyone any favors.  Obviously, as parents, we love our children more than anything.  But dropping everything to cater to their every need is only going to lead to a very rude awakening once they enter the real world.

 

I'm not telling anyone how to parent, and I'm far from perfect myself.  But when my kids can't find something, I refuse to help them until they've at least made a concerted effort to find it themselves.  This isn't being mean, it's teaching them to at least attempt to solve a problem themselves before just giving up and asking for help. 

 

When the TV gets turned off after the allotted time on the weekends, my kids are instructed to go play together in their room.  I love and miss them during the work week, but I am not just a mom, I'm also Matt's wife, I'm also Stephanie, and I also run our household.  There are things I have to get done, and my boys understand that.  My children - while Matt and I  both spend time playing with them - understand that the world doesn't begin and end with them.  This allows them to find ways to entertain themselves, it builds imagination, and it teaches them to get along with each other without constant intervention.

 

We follow the rules and don't take toy guns or weapons to daycare.  But I'll be darned if my boys aren't allowed to be little boys when they're at home.  They have several toy guns and it's constantly a good guy vs. bad guy battle in my house.  I feel like this teaches them to do the things they want to do, while respecting other's rules and regulations.  It also teaches them that there are differing opinions about things in this world and that's ok.  We can like and believe in the things we want, while respecting that others may not agree with us.

 

My children are all but ignored when they ask for something without using manners.  They understand that when someone addresses or speaks to them, they are to speak back.  When we go out to eat, we don't take 5 electronic devices to keep them "entertained" for the 15 minutes we have to wait for our food.  If Hendrix is "bored" (and I use that term loosely), then he can put on his jacket and go play outside.

 

Everyone parents differently, and I respect that. The current generation may be one that expects nothing less than everything from this world.  But I know of two gentlemen that are going to be able to accept failure and move on having learned something from it. 

I know of two gentleman who will be hurt emotionally, but who will be able to work through the hurt and carry on with life.  I will cushion the emotional fall as much as a mom can, but I will not completely prevent it from happening. They will not expect whoever hurt them to be punished.  Heck, I might even teach my children the power of forgiveness. 

These two gentlemen will understand the value of hard work, and know that hard work is required to get where one wants to be in life. 

They will, while understanding the need for caution, appreciate that not everyone out there is out to get them.  Not everyone is out to do evil things. 

These gentlemen will understand that there are about a gazillion people in this world.  While they are incredibly special to me and my family, they are not special to the world.  That probably sounds terrible, but people!  It's the harsh truth, and it needs embraced!

I know that I can't change the mindset of modern parents.  That's never been and never will be my goal.  I just want to make sure that I raise my sons to grow into respectable men who can thrive and succeed, due to having been prepared to do so.

My kids are not the center of my world because I love them enough not to allow them to be.

Have a great weekend, friends.

Post Credits

Post Site: http://themetzfamilyadventures.blogspot.com/

Post Author: Stephanie

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Marriage Truths: Marriage Isn’t For You (SethAdamSmith)

Marriage Truths: Marriage Isn’t For You (Seth and Kim)

This masterpiece, "Marriage Isn’t For You" worth reading by anyone with intention sharing their lives in a dedicated relationship with another person. It gives you a deeper understanding of of your responsibility in a relationship IF you truly love the other person. Simply put marriage is not for you if you have no love. A quality happy marriage requires selflessness.

Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.

Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.

I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.

Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?

Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.
Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.

My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”

It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.

My father’s advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.

No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”

Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous. I was selfish.

But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful—she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and aguish I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul.

Marriage is about family

I realized that I had forgotten my dad’s advice. While Kim’s side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.

To all who are reading this article—married, almost married, single, or even the sworn bachelor or bachelorette—I want you to know that marriage isn’t for you. No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love.

And, paradoxically, the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and their family and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.

Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.

This post originally appeared on ForwardWalking.com, a website dedicated to helping people move forward in life.

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Post Site: http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/

Post Author: Seth Adam Smith

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Priceless Mom & Daughter Moment: Cute Emotional Baby Moved To Tears By Mom's Singing (Video)

Priceless Mom & Daughter Moment: Cute Emotional Baby Moved To Tears By Mom's Singing

I thought I share this awesome video. I must confess, I shed tears of my own watching this lovely video. It's amazing what how this 10-month-old reacted with such powerful impassioned response to her mother's private performance of "My Heart Can't Tell You No" gives a whole new (beautiful) meaning to the word "cry-baby."

The mom has a beautiful singing voice too. This precious moment a very powerful mother-daughter bonding exercise that should be encouraged.

The little one was identified by Canada's TVA as Mary Lynne Leroux. Mom, Amanda, told TVA that she's too shy to sing in public - but clearly, she's found an appreciative audience at home.

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Post Author: Vidbeau

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Ways Of Rising – RCCG Open Heavens Devotional Wednesday 2nd October 2013

WAYS OF RISING BY PASTOR E. A. ADEBOYE
Memorise:

I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
Psalms 40:1

Read:

Judges 6:11-16

And there came an angel of the LORD, and sat under an oak which was in Ophrah, that pertained unto Joash the Abiezrite: and his son Gideon threshed wheat by the winepress, to hide it from the Midianites. Judges 6:11

And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him, and said unto him, The LORD is with thee, thou mighty man of valour. Judges 6:12

And Gideon said unto him, Oh my Lord, if the LORD be with us, why then is all this befallen us? and where be all his miracles which our fathers told us of, saying, Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt? but now the LORD hath forsaken us, and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites. Judges 6:13

And the LORD looked upon him, and said, Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites: have not I sent thee? Judges 6:14

And he said unto him, Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? behold, my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house. Judges 6:15

And the LORD said unto him, Surely I will be with thee, and thou shalt smite the Midianites as one man. Judges 6:16

Open Heavens Devotional Message
If you are prepared to start small, God is prepared to turn that small thing into something beyond your wildest imagination. This season, hope will arise for you in Jesus name. there are different ways to arise, one way is by being pushed up. One person that was pushed up was Moses. In Exodus 4:10-17, God told him he was going to be used to deliver His people, but he refused. God showed him some miracles to convince him but he still did not yield, so God had to push him up. Another person God pushed up was Joshua. In Joshua 1:1-8, God had to tell him thrice to be strong and to be of good courage because he was afraid of stepping into the shoe of his master. What of Gideon? God chose him but he refused to yield so God had to push him up (Judges 6:11-16). In any way you are refusing to key into God’s plan for your life, the Lord will push you up in Jesus name.

Another way to experience a rise is to be pulled up. Psalm 40:1-3 describes how God brought up the Psalmist from the miry clay, set him on the rock and established him. Also, in 1 Samuel 16:11-13, David who was only a shepherd boy saw himself being anointed king in the midst of his able-bodied brothers. God pulled him up. In the name that is above every other name, wherever you are, in the depth of sin, sickness, lack, ignominy, shame, disgrace, bondage or defeat, the Lord will pull you up this season. Yet, a third way to rise is to be carried up. Isaiah 40:31 talks of people mounting up on eagles’ wings. In 2 Kings 2:11, Elijah was carried up into Heaven by chariots of fire. In 1 Kings 1:11-40, Solomon did not know what was going on and suddenly he was declared king. This season, the Lord will carry you on wings like the eagle. Your effort will not solely be the determinant factor but also His favour and grace. You will see yourself rising from now on. It is your set time of favour (Psalm 102:13). You shall begin to rise and no one and nothing will be able to stop you.

Bible In One Year:

Genesis 33-36

Prayer Point
Father, beyond my expectations, lift me up.

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Let Go Of The Old – RCCG Open Heavens Devotional Tuesday 1st October 2013

Let Go Of The Old – RCCG Open Heavens Devotional Tuesday 1st October 2013

LET GO OF THE OLD BY PASTOR E. A. ADEBOYE

Memorise:

A slothful man hideth his hand in his bosom, and will not so much as bring it to his mouth again. Proverbs 19:24

Read:

Proverbs 24:30-34

I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding; Proverbs 24:30

And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down. Proverbs 24:31

Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction. Proverbs 24:32

Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: Proverbs 24:33

So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man. Proverbs 24:34

Open Heavens Devotional Message
If you are overly selective of the opportunities you take among those that come your way, you may endure lack, shame, disgrace or disrespect for long time. Such attitude can alter God’s plan for you life over time. As a student who either wants first class or the first position, you must be prepared to study far above your peers. There is no success without hard work. He knows how to sort you out. But if you are lazy or failed to work hard when you had the time, be prepared to receive the comfort of the Holy Spirit after you have failed. What is your attitude to studies? Do you defer what should be done today until sometime in future? You are only making room to fail. You shall not fail. Change your attitude today!

Laziness and procrastination are two major challenges facing believers today. Sometime ago, I asked someone to make me a little fish pond and they were at it for eight months. So one day, I went to them and asked if they will be through within a year. He said it will not go beyond nine months, whereas that assignment could have been done in two weeks. If the Almighty God is still working until now, what will be your excuse for not working? According to 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, the one who will excel must be prepared to be disciplined in order to keep the body under. You can be great. There is a crowd at the bottom but too few at the top! There is plenty of room at the top, but the issue is whether you are willing to do the work that will qualify you for the top. Anyone who wants to mount up on eagles’ wings cannot afford to be lazy. Are you ready to pay the price? There are some people who sought God’s face, asking for His power and great move many years ago, but they have really not seen what they asked for. God did not give them the anointing because He was waiting for their time to come. Today, God is asking them to pay a little more price and they will see the manifestation of what they have sought because their time has come.

Bible In One Year:

Genesis 30-32

Action Point
Identify whatever makes you a slave to laziness and eliminate them now. Pray that as Nigeria marks her Independence that as many as are still in bondage will experience true freedom.
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First Time Relationship Tips: Top 11 Tips for Nailing Your First Time With Her (MensFitness)

First Time Relationship Tips: Top 11 Tips for Nailing Your First Time With Her (MensFitness)

First Time Relationship Tips: Top 11 Tips for Nailing Your First Time With Her (MensFitness)

So it has gone well up to this point, point of first time in bed with her, it is imperative you leave a lasting impression in her mind.

Make a good impression when you get in bed with a new girl for the first time.
You’ve played your cards well enough that the new girl you’re dating has finally agreed to come back to your apartment after a night out. Until now, you’ve held back on making a move because you didn’t want to scare her off, but you can’t wait any longer. You want her in your bed—badly. The pressure is on to make a smooth transition from first base to home plate, but what does that entail? Music? Candles? Definitely not.

Is Your Bachelor Pad Turning Her Off?

Skip any elaborate scheming and keep it simple. We asked experts for their best tips on how to consummate a new relationship—with tact. If you get it right on the first try, we promise she’ll be coming back for more.

1. Pay Attention to Nonverbal Clues
“Sometimes a guy is so anxious to sleep with a new partner that he gets caught up in the excitement. But if he wants it to be a great sexual experience for her, then he needs to read her signs,” says Dr. Jenn Berman of VH1’s Couples Therapyand host of The Love and Sex Show with Dr. Jenn on SiriusXM. “Look at how she’s responding to your moves—what makes her excited and what is she less excited about?”

How to Keep Your Head in the Game for Better Sex>>>

2. Don’t Steal Bases
As much as you want to fast-forward to the main event, don’t underestimate the value of foreplay. “A lot of men don’t realize that biologically, women need it to get their bodies warmed up,” Berman says. “If you want her to have an orgasm, the best chance of that happening is a good 20 minutes of foreplay.”

3. Dress to Impress
Girls make sure their undergarments are impressive, and men should do the same. “Wear boxer-briefs. Seriously,” says Amber Madison, a New York City-based therapist who specializes in dating and relationships. “They’re sexy and more sophisticated than boxers.”

Overnight Expert: How to Shop for Lingerie>>>

4. Forget 50 Shades
If you’re into the unconventional, save it for a later date. “Despite what you might have been hearing about from Fifty Shades of Grey, most women will be a little freaked out if you show up for a first-time sexual encounter with warming gel and sex toys,” says Melissa White, CEO and founder of Lucky Bloke. “Until you know one another’s comfort zones, you should probably stay away from anything kinky. Plus, you don’t know yet what sensitivities she might have to condoms or lubricants with heating or cooling properties—and you don’t want her wanting a shower instead of you.”

5. Clean Your Room
She’s not going to sit on your bed if it’s covered in crap. “If you’re planning on having sex at your place, clean your home,” White advises. “It should look tidy and inviting—not like the set of a Seth Rogen movie.”

6. Be Well Groomed
Like the status of your apartment (read: laundry not overflowing from the hamper), your appearance should be equally as pulled together. If you’re hoping she will be visiting your lower region, it’s important that the area is well kempt so as not to disgust her. “A little manscaping goes a long way,” notes Berman.

“Make sure you shower and smell good, but too much cologne is a turnoff,” White adds. “We all rely on pheromones to be turned on. You want her to be able to smell you—albeit a freshly showered, you.”

First Time Relationship Tips: Top 11 Tips for Nailing Your First Time With Her (MensFitness)

7. Go the Extra Mile
Thoughtfulness goes a long way, and we’re not necessarily talking flowers or chocolate. “Women like to see a man make an effort, like planning a terrific date,” Berman says. “Most men underestimate how far that goes,” meaning it might go as far as the bedroom.

8. Protect Yourself
It’s your first time together, so you probably haven’t talked birth control or previous partners. So, take the lead on this one: “Don’t make her bring up the subject; making her uncomfortable is a surefire way out of the bedroom,” White says. “It’s a welcome surprise when a man comes prepared in this department.”

9. Make the Connection
Keep things close, on more than a physical level. “There’s nothing sexier than some intimate eye contact during sex,” White says. “Instead of staring at the wall or the ceiling, capture her gaze, hold her hand.”

10. Have Patience
Taking the plunge with someone new means figuring out how the two of you work together—not just physically but in terms of chemistry, too. “Your first time with a new partner may not go perfectly, and that’s OK,” says Dr. Logan Levkoff, of Trojan’s Sexual Health Advisory Council. “It takes a while to get to know somebody’s body and what he or she likes.”

11. Give Her a Proper Send-Off
Everyone’s got to eat in the a.m., right? If you can cook, go for it. At the very least, offer her a cup of coffee. “This will ensure that things don’t get awkward,” Madison says. “Also, text her later that day. This way, when she starts to have the "He just wanted sex" freak-out, as many girls do, hearing from you will calm her down.” It’s the perfect close to your first time together.

Post Credits

Post Site: http://www.mensfitness.com/

Post Author: Hilary Sheinbaum

 Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hilary_she 

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Midwives Are Rewarded – RCCG Open Heavens Devotional Monday 30th September 2013

MIDWIVES ARE REWARDED BY PASTOR E. A. ADEBOYE

Memorise:

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. John 14:3

Read:

John 14:1-3

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. John 14:1

In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. John 14:2

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. John 14:3

Open Heavens Devotional Message
Can you dare to stand alone? Can you dare to stand on the side of God while the government is against you? The midwives of Exodus 1 fell out of favour with the government of the day but they did not care. As a result of their sacrificial obedience to God, they entered into favour with God and began to receive special divine care according to Exodus 1:20. In fact, verse 21 says,

“And it came to pass, because the midwives feared God, that he made them houses.”

This could mean those who were single and searching found their right spouses and got married. It could also mean that those who were married had peace and multiplication in their homes. Also, this could mean that tenants among them became landladies by divine favour and speed. Beloved, are people laughing at you while you are obeying the King of kings? Are they calling you a fool because you refuse to compromise like others are doing to succeed? Are people saying you do not know the shortcut to prosperity? Never mind. Stay focused on your God-given assignment! God did not forget the midwives; He will also not forget you. God gave them households. God will not forget you or your labour in soul winning!

In John 14:1-3, the Lord assures us that He is building mansions for us. Many years ago, the Lord took me in a vision to a place in a city beyond compare in beauty. I saw a house under construction which was massive and had many rooms. The labourers were busy working at it. When I asked the Lord who owns the house, He said, ‘Son, this is your house’, expecting that since there is no night in Heaven, when my children come to pay me visits, they will have rooms to stay. He said the building is still going on as long as I am winning souls. Beloved, whether people believe it or not, I know what I saw. I saw mansions in Heaven. I have seen my own building. The Lord is equally building yours. Are committed to winning souls? Soul winners are so dear to God’s heart that He makes them relevant both in time and in eternity. How much have you worked for your heavenly reward?

Bible In One Year:

Ezra 8-10

Prayer Point
Father, help me to serve you acceptably so that I do not lose my earthly and eternal rewards.
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