Don't Be Adventurous In A Chinese Restaurant, Know What You Are Eating!

Please when you go to Chinese restaurant, don't just nice sounding meals on the menu they may taste so good to you, speaking from experience. Ask what you are ordering first. What I want to share with you today reminds of what happened a few years back. We went to a Chinese Restaurant called Saipan. It was a little get-together for the office. So the order for food was made mostly by the ogas but we individually chose our drinks/poisons. When the food was served, most of us can't wait to taste this exquisite exotic oriental dishes. We don't care if they were healthy Chinese food or not.


There was this thing that looked fried shrimps. I scooped more than enough of the shrimp-like looking dish to my plate. More people did what I did. I took one spoonful and I was screaming uncontrollably in my mind for the fire service to put out the fire raging in my mouth. This stuff crazy hot chili pepper. I tried to hide my predicament from public display lol. I don't know when I emptied my glass of red label. I sat back and watched everybody who scooped that fried chili and they all learnt their lesson the hard way just like I did.

Moral of the Story: Always be sure of the cockroaches and frogs you are order at a Chinese restaurant!

My boss shared his food with me today Thursday June 13 2013 afternoon. One look at the content in a deep white bowl convinced me it was moi-moi. I cut and tossed a sizeable portion in my mouth, bad mistake. I remembered the warning in our chemistry laboratory back in Government College Umuahia which says; “DON’T Sniff, Touch Or Taste Anything” I used to taste out the chemicals on people’s notebook especially when their eyes are elsewhere lol! My taste buds recoiled sharply to safety, I spat the portion out at a dizzying speed. What the hell was that? What kinda moi-moi is this?

I had to ask my boss, bros no vex o what kinda food be this? He said it’s wheat and added it’s healthy. That was when I noticed the other plate with soup. The wheat is the swallow (like garri) for the soup. I have never eaten wheat as swallow before. I’m not the adventurous type with food. I’m finicky with food. The soup was ogbono or draw soup. How worse can it get? I hardly eat ogbono soup. I’m going against these unfriendly food tag team. My grumbling stomach decreed I eat the wheat and ogbono soup plus I wanted to taste the wheat. I just shoved the bolus down my oesophagus. It didn’t look like eating, it was like punishment. I finished my meal with a huge soup left over while MD almost licked his plate clean. He loves ogbono/draw soup. 

One man's corned beef is another man's cyanide. That's my version of one man's meat is another man's poison.

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Sometimes The Universe Seem To Work Against You But Devil Is A Liar

You know sometimes it seems like the universe just work against you and you wonder why. If you are most true Christians you begin to remember the sin or sins you committed that may be standing in your way of success. The truth is sometimes in eyes of limited understanding we think the universe is hurting us but in indeed the universe is helping us. Always remember these quotes below.

Once You Make A Decision, The Universe Conspires To Make It Happen
Ralph Waldo Emerson

When You Want Something All The Universe Conspires In Helping You Achieve It 
Paulo Coelho

Question is; "What Decision Have You Taken or What Do You Want?" May we not find ourselves in such situation where the universe work against us. May the universe always work to our benefit and favour!

Dalu dashed into our office Thursday June 13 2013 afternoon, his internet ran out in the middle of an important email. He needed to just send an email. It was like God turned his back on him for a split second. His email won’t let him sign in. Okay he signed into his yahoo and it stopped responding. He fiddled with for some minutes and Firefox stopped responding all together. Na wa o! He switched to Google chrome. He also switched to my Gmail account. The Gmail compose page froze for a moment then continued working. In the middle of writing the all-important mail there was a brief power cut which caused our internet modem to reboot. He looked at me with a pitiable expression of frustration etched on his face then he gasped “What Did I Do?”

I’m no evil genius but it amused me. I’ve been there, done that. I understand perfectly in every fiber of my being what tremendous torment he is going through and how he is feeling. The email must be really be jinxed. This is the kind of situation that makes people say things like; “Devil Is A Liar” “That Juju No Go Work” “If They Send You Tell Them Say You No See Me”, etc. The Swift modem rebooted momentarily. He continued composing his email. The last straw that broke the camel’s back was when he tried to attach a 63kb file, just 63kb. It kept loading and loading and loading. The file took enough time to deliver the mail by DHL still it kept loading! The voodoo priest frustrating his effort is really powerful lol!

I was troubleshooting the problem all the way but more troubles kept shooting him. I then asked him to use the windows 8 laptop instead. That was his salvation. He succeeded in sending the email and left our office.

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Blame It On The Rain If I Skip Work Today!

Thursday June 13 2013
Its so good to be back to the land of the living this morning. As I was taking my cold bath this morning, Lekki was being bathed as well. Blame it on the rain if I skip work today lol. I had secretly prayed for the rain cuz I was so not in the mood for going to work this morning. My mind is burdened by rent issue. When the rain fell, it was a sweet orgasmic relief. Somehow I felt the burden being washed away like sins being washed away by the blood of Jesus. I imagined how swiftly this prayer was answered. Was it a dumb luck? Did God look into my heart and just for my sole sake bathed Lekki this morning? Was it planned or predestined to rain this morning regardless of what I wanted? I can never know the answer to these questions.


As the soap lather slithered down my body to the bathroom floor and disappeared out the waste water outlet on the floor I watched as limitless silvery raindrops hurl themselves on building roofs and wash off to the ground. Some rooftops are rusty, I imagine it may hurt the raindrops. I wondered if they enjoyed what they were doing. I wondered what the lifespan of a raindrop was. If I were a rain drop, where would I like to fall on? Probably in juicy cleavage of a beautiful lady. Get your mind out the gutter. I toweled myself dry and eased myself into a comfortable position on the bed, also eased the laptop comfortably on my lap. Lekki is still taking her bath, even if the rain stops it will only take the dry season to completely towel it dry like I just did. I work a little on the office task with some difficulties and then gravitated naturally to my write-up.

The rain took a break for the day after a while. I left for work. I got to office less than three minutes ahead of my boss around a few minutes before eleven o’clock. He passed me one of his new laptops that I configured some time ago, this time I’m copying documents and media from my office laptop to it. That got me busy for a while. I hate the navigation on Windows 8. Is it me being stuck in the past or do you guys love windows 8? Bill Gates must be really proud of his Windows 8 right now. I prefer Windows 7 anytime!

I went to the bank as usual to make some payments. Later in the evening an unexpected individual checked on us. The door slowly cringed open and we had eyes fixed on the door and the last person we anticipated strolled in. MD exclaimed! We all burst into a hysterical laughter. It was Ifeanyi, the dude who resigned a few days ago! He didn’t come to work though. But there was genuine excitement in the air just seeing him. We spent the rest of the evening gisting about life, work, family, relationship, you name it. MD left for a meeting at Whitbaker Hotel Ikoyi some minutes after 5:00pm. Ify took his leave also. I stayed behind till 6:45pm.

Already Caesar had whatsapped me that he is waiting for me at Lekki roundabout. I rushed over to him and transport fare was saved. we talked about my write-ups. He was really thrilled reading my blog article. He never knew I could write. We spent some time at his babe’s shop before I went home. In the morning when I was leaving my room I saw the carcass of butterfly or was it a moth on the door mat outside. Poor thing. This evening I saw another one indoors beside the water dispenser. Who, what and when was open season declared on butterflies? Who or what is doing the killing? I hit the sack.

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A Friend In Need Is A Friend In Deed Thursday May 30 2013

Sleep can you please leave me alone. That's me pleading and struggling to get up around 5:00am. I got up eventually, but that was ten minutes after. Deborah didn't come till ten minutes after six to collect her package. A friend in need is a friend in deed. I did my ritual. Prepared for work and left. The environment is irritatingly wet and categorically cold. I hate when everywhere is like this. That Lagos is a flood prone state is no longer news. The entire Lekki area sits on a swamp. People just sand fill this areas and build houses. As a matter of fact people buy water bodies and sand fills it to build houses. Most times the sand filling is not done properly by experts. The person sponsoring the project may not have enough money to do it very well so they settle for less. In reality this whole is precariously sitting on water. The land is already saturated so any little drop in form of rain, the whole thing comes to the surface.

I took a bike and equally took a long route to the main road. I can’t expect it. Taking the normal short road means I really want to swim in the little oceans form with the aid of the bad road. As I was a few steps away from the office door a call from my boss came in, I didn't bother to pick it. Definitely he has grown impatient of waiting for me. I went late of course. What’s more, his second son was in the office. Damn! I just lost weight to the inevitable that the pain in the ass just got doubled. Though the kid can be a darling, he can also some many other ''un-darling'' things. The problem is less since the elder brother isn't here with him. They give sibling rivalry a whole new meaning. The kid can be fond of me most times. Actually he wanted to see me that is why his dad called. We greeted warmly and I warmed into my seat for work. Moments later he complained of hunger, now that's the Mezie I know very well lol. I got food for all of us from D'Place.

The day was sunny a bit. At least it's better than the constant rain. I was in the middle of my brunch when something on my job description came up that needs to be attended to. It involves leaving the comforts of the office through the madness on the street to an office in Saka Tinubu to make a payment. The once sunny sky started showering lightly. Oh Lord not again. Everywhere is still very wet and irritating to me. Godwin the driver complained that yesterday's rain damaged his property and documents. He said the water level in his room was almost knee deep. It is raining again, what a dumb luck he has. He was taking the car to the mechanic. He will drop me at Swift office then go his way. The rain intensified immensely. Swift entrance was flooded like I expected. Why do I have to go through rough and ugly development when I'm dressed so cute and sexy? I managed to get in without soaking my shoe so much. The shoe sole is so weak against water, that's my biggest worry.

I paid swiftly and Godwin dropped me at the NIPOST for something personal. I've been expecting a package from London from Victory. I'm supposed to help him get a paper from Nigerian police. I hate this sorta stuff but a friend in need is a friend in deed. I'm yet to get the package after Royal mail tracking number confirmed the package has been in Nigeria for 10 days now! At the NIPOST in Victoria Island, I was told the package has not arrived. To make matters worse they don’t really know where it is. I took a taxi back to the office. I slept and slept in the cab. My God protected me. Imagine if the driver decided to kidnap me or do something evil. There would be no resistance whatsoever. I let Vic know the situation, he didn't find it funny. He is running out of time.

I pounced on my food immediately I got back. It wasn't enough for me. We went out again in the evening, this time for something that doesn't exist on my job description. I find such trips very annoying. It appears he doesn't trust the drivers. I think he's just being cautious making sure me, the able bodied bodyguard is with the driver as he drives his son from point A to B. When we got back my body system changed. Finally the cold and rain I was exposed to today has started taking its toll on me. It waited till it was almost time to go home. I have to be strong. I have to resist it. Resist I did. Ugo left before me. I waited behind to finish reading Naruto Manga Chapter 632. 

I went home afterwards. I checked on Doc briefly and headed home. I took a bike of course and still hiked the fare. I don't really blame them, flood is creating an opening for them to profit from. The flood can be bad for most motorcycles. Amara was at home in company of Fifi when I got there. She was cooking something, don't know what it was. Ok she cooked rice beans and stew with chicken. Only God knows where they stay? Only God knows if she is staying with her husband which I’m guessing is the case. She cooks here and packs the food elsewhere to eat. Hope it’s not a refugee camp, just kidding. I worked on my lappie for a while by that time she has finished her cooking and left in the cloak of the night. I ate the food she remained for me and went to bed.

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No Complain Day Thursday May 23 2013

I declared today no complain day. I don’t want to complain about anything today. I'm gonna try. Humans complain a lot inadvertently. I woke up on time. Feeling good. Feeling like I need more sleep. I read my Open Heavens and prayed. I thought about where Ibe could've gone to. Not that it bothered me but hey just a thought. He crossed the line when that stupid text of his left his phone bound for mine. It's like a bullet, you can't stop it once it's fired and the damage can be very damaging. Also I pondered about where his wife sleeps, is she still doing her Saladmaster business? I’m going to change my locks. But I will let them know first. They are not gonna know what the key looks like. I locked the door from inside which I now do unlike before. I wonder how the Saladmaster thingy is going.

 I went for a shower around 9:00am. As I just started I heard someone fiddling with the door trying to open it. Obviously the person knew it was locked from inside but the person kept forcing the door to open. The person I guess called my phone several times. I couldn't pick in my foamy lathery shower state. The person didn't even knock just kept forcing the door to open. What if I locked it cuz I was having an adult rated quality time with a woman? So whoever the person was will just barge in? I asked who it was and no response was the answer. I said I'm bathing so wait a little while. No change to the intensity of fiddling sound as if someone is noisily picking the lock. I hurried a bit in the bathroom.

When I opened the door I saw no one. I saw some items on the ground telling me who it was. Moments later Amarachi came up, she had a small scissors and other tools apparently to take the lock apart. Seriously?! So she wants to take the lock apart and probably leave the fixing part to me. It’s no complain day by the way, am I complaining? I’m glad they have a place they are staying now even if it’s the riskiest dirtiest darkest parts under Obalende Bridge. I dressed up and left for work.

Ifeanyi was already there, Ugo wasn't. Ify has been absent this week. I got him updated on events in the office. We had a little basketball competition. We had this small ball in the office so we took turns trying to throw it inside a waste paper basket at other corner of the office. Yeah we should be working right lol. He demolished me. He beat me 6-1. He said he will beat me 10-1 but we stopped when MD came to work. I know we'll do it again, it’s just a matter of convenient time. We have discovered a stress relieving exercise. After all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy they say. Immediately MD came in he ordered food for us, is he that starved? I went to get the food and some other stuff. I bought a lot of stuff, let’s just say I made sure I spent all the money.

Did I tell you how good I looked? I wore a nice TM Lewin pink shirt, a brown chinos trouser and a black jacket. Boy I look sweet if I can so myself. If I were you I will fall for me now lol. A weird fashion coincidence occurred. Ifeanyi wore a pink polo shirt and brown chinos trouser exactly like me. The driver also wore similar colour shirt and chinos. What sorta uniform is this? It's like we planned it. The only difference is my black jacket. I finished my shopping, time to head back to the office. The car refused to start. Are you kidding me? When I'm looking classy like that, this car wants to fall my hand like we say here. I can’t complain, it’s no complain day lol.

I told my boss the situation and he asked me to take public transport back while he sends a mechanic to fix the car. I went back to the office. We had our meal, it was good. Shortly the mechanic arrived to the office with faulty car, he has fixed it. He advised the car be serviced immediately to avoid a recurrence of fault in a more damaging scale. When I got home Amara was there cooking rice and stew. She asked if I want some. I said yes. She left for me in the pot and took rest and left. I ate and went to bed.

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Insecticide Fume Suffocation Attack Thursday May 16 2013

Today wasn't like yesterday when I was under strong sleep spell but my effort to sleep well was frustrated by Ibe and co. I woke up at the usual time did my morning ritual and read the workers-in-training manual. Mehn this approaching exam is getting me nervous, why should I be? Maybe cuz I haven't prepared to my heart's content. Not that I can fail it, that is so impossible but I’m not satisfied with my preparations so far. I need to be in office by twelve noon so I still got some time before I leave. I went to the kitchen, drank water and took a moment to relish my cleaning handiwork of yesterday. Just look at how clean the wall and window sparkles. I wonder if my roomies noticed how clean it looks. Seriously I always wonder if they can actually tell the difference. Regarding tidiness, you might as well label them ataxomaniacs.

I got to the office around 12:12 noon. Ify was yet to come. He came in looking so corporate and all. That’s very unlike him, I bet there's a business meeting today. Victory my good friend I’ve known for a long time who now lives in the UK called me. He had spoken to me earlier to help him get a police report from police office in Ikoyi Lagos. Ifeanyi cautioned me to be careful with “UK guys”, I told him I can trust this guy. So he called again today requesting my detail for mail and money transfer regarding the errand. I gave it to him, the package will arrive next week hopefully. Evidently there was a meeting as I suspected. Ifeanyi left for the meeting and dropped me off at ShopRite to grab a meal.

I had no dime on me except N10. Armed with my MasterCard card, I felt like Mr. Money. The check-out point proved me wrong. What?! My card isn't working?!! I went to the nearest atm machine, the same thing. I’ve always thought this might happen one day, alas that day is upon me. What a hassle! Luckily my bank was close to The Palms Mall. Even luckier it's still banking hours. And being the luckiest, the bank was virtual empty, a very rare occurrence. I made the withdrawal quickly and went back. The cashier was kind enough to keep my item waiting for me. I paid and left.

What is wrong with my right foot today? I’m not a superstitious fellow but honestly it’s beginning to freak me out! I have been hitting the foot everywhere. My left foot attempted it once. Where did this communication and coordination breakdown originate between my right foot, motor neurons and my brain? Even when the road appears to be relatively flat my right foot will find something to hit! Has the remote control for my right foot fallen into the wrong hands? Imagine someone else controlling just one part of your body like a puppet, that’s creepy.

I ate, didn't quite enjoy the pork meat. I tried working on the presentation, it’s just not flowing. I’m outta here, I’m going home. I was stepping into our compound as Ibe was leaving. I hailed the guy he was leaving with but we were dumb towards each other. I got inside not hoping to eat anything. I didn't leave any money for food. Matter fact I've not been given money specifically for food but I do buy food stuff and canned food from time to time. I have really big issues right now. Mimi asked if I will eat garri, please by all means I will eat garri. She dished it and asked if she should add more, please by all means add more. It was a really nice soup with heavy traffic in it.

When I say there's traffic in a soup it means the soup is really rich with fish - all kinds, meat - all kinds, etc. This one had one big fish and one big beef. I couldn't finish the garri, I thought I could. I don't really eat too much garri at a seating. I eat more rice at one seating than garri. God I was grateful. I thanked her from the bottom of my heart like I always do. Even when she cooks something I don't like cuz I can be finicky with food, I still thank her for her effort. I cook so I know how stressful cooking can be most times especially in this generation of continuous everyday hustle. My stomach is feeling the after-effect of my gourmandism.

One thing I have always been very genuinely and deeply grateful to this couple for is food. The stress of cooking has been lifted off my shoulder. They combined, can whip up something when you least expect it, especially when I lack the means. Now my belly is full, my eyes are heavy, there's only one right thing to do, sleep. Ibe came back in after I have finished eating and was at the sleep station waiting for my train to slumber island. I can’t tell what happened next cuz I zzzzz….

Suddenly I was hysterically coughing and gasping for air. Instinctively in that fight or flight moment my body switched into action on its own and I sprang to my feet then rushed to the door. I could've sworn I was half asleep the whole time. My body overrode all instructions for it to sleep and fled to safety. What happened? What will I not go through in the hands of Ibe?

It was the insecticide fume suffocating me that caused my system to initiate the Save-the-king protocol. What sort of human being am I sheltering for Christ's sake? Is he that retarded or plain wicked? How can a creature that claims to be human spray such a high volume of insecticide fume in the room where someone was sleeping and didn't bother to wake the person first!! Was he planning to kill me with that? Well my God has foiled that plan. Seriously it’s from one ridiculously stupid thing to another. Even Amara didn't wake me.

When I stumbled outside Amara who was already there out of harm's way was just echoing sorry to me repeatedly. These insecticides fume cause me nasty headaches. Mosquito coil equally does same. I use these harmful chemicals sparingly because of hazardous effect on my health. If I had asthma, it would’ve been very catastrophic. Why won’t this guy use his head for once?

I can understand a small squeeze of the aerosol that is easily dispersed by the room ventilation. I just couldn't believe what happened. And you would think common sense is common. I stayed outside the longest waiting for the room to air out. Only God knows how much I inhaled before I woke up. When I got back in I told him to inform me first next time before he sprays. He didn't say anything. This guy is seriously forcing my hand. Why do I still put up with this barbaric behaviour?

His mind works in warped fashion. He can vehemently conclude that a simple act of placing a pencil on the table is connected to nuclear missiles of 1947 cold war and link it further to a future colder war. Is it paranoia delusion, complex, psycho or what? The worst part is how strongly he will believe he is right based on his highly nonsensical delusional postulation.

The night was young but I didn't know that. I just saw myself peeing, then it hit me. It was a dream. I sprang up. Did I just trickle pee on the bed? The first time I had this experience as a full adult, I had terrible malaria. Now what could be wrong? This is not funny. As I stood up and groped my way to the toilet I almost collapsed. Suddenly I felt a crippling dizziness. I was losing consciousness. I struggled to keep my eyes open, tried to keep my mind busy. What is going on? Could this be effect of large amount of insecticide fume I inhaled earlier? I fought my way out of the toilet staggering towards the wardrobe, I need to change my boxers. It was a very difficult task.

I thought of people dying in movies and how they say their consciousness desert them slowly or quickly leaving empty shell of their body. It can’t be what is happening to me now, is it? I managed to change and took a small polo shirt to dry the trickle on the bed.

While I was desperately fighting for my life my roomies were snoring or pretended to be. I believe until proven wrong that the insecticide fume I inhaled earlier was responsible for this attack on my consciousness.

Now I was even more afraid to close my eyes to sleep. Scared I may not open it again. I tried to keep my mind busy with any train of thought, no train came along. I prayed and prayed. I drifted in and out of the prayer. I’m sure I fell asleep in the middle of my prayer.

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The Lord Is My Strength Thursday May 09 2013

Looks like the devil and his demons wanna war this morning but the Lord is my strength, Psalm 28:7. He is always my strength. I woke early, yeah the new me. Now I wake my alarm. Doing some browsing on my phone. Where I lay on another mattress on the floor just minding my business, he just walked on the mattress to the door, the entire length of the mattress. As if that wasn't enough, when he came he repeated the move and additionally stepped on me without a word or gesture of sorry. I just didn't say anything, I just watched him.

The sun has not fully awaken so it was still a little dark. What stops him from saying excuse? There was no need to use the mattress as foot mat which they very annoyingly good at. Lately he has been posting really nasty but stupid updates on face which are subs at me but Im way better than replying such comments. Even if he puts it on my wall I won't respond to him. He can talk to me at home if really wants to not on Facebook. He is also attacking the wife accusing her of exposing her to me, a potential ''wifefucker.'' He even said it that in his words ''This guy is a very ridiculous human being. He can actually fuck someone's wife.'' 

He ranted and ranted and ranted and dressed up and left. Amara dressed up and left. I assessed the situation and pondered a while then showered, dressed up and left for work. My boss was already in the office when I got there. He doesn't look good. He got cold. I went out on one of those long windy tasks with the driver. I wasn't happy about it all, the driver was pleading with me to cool my temper cuz he totally understood this wasn't in no way a task for me. I was depressed. The rent and accommodation situation was the remote cause and this grocery shopping errand just made it worst.

Thought of my rent was really depressing me cuz I have no frigging clue how to pay. As if that is not bad enough the dude in my house who's behaving like a cursed individual like he self-proclaimed to be is trying to rub it off on me with his recent psycho, quarrelsome belligerent behaviours visibly fraught with frustrations. I refuse to be a victim of your misfortune. I didn't do anything evil by giving you a helping hand.

Ifeanyi came to the office in the evening. He said he wasn't going to come today apparently he changed his mind. Said he finished his appointment on time. Just before close of work they get into this discussion about accommodation issues. Ugo is always fond of talking as I'm not part of the team when such matters are being talked about. He will only bring up his case and Ifeanyi's. Sometimes I just table my own at once, let it be hashed or solved together. Other times my stare burns him back to his senses and he may just chip in my case like throwing crumbs to the dogs. If he forgets me easily now, how the hell can he remember me when the big pay day arrives? Money brings out the personality of people.

I went home after work. I went straight home changed and then came out again. Ibe and his wife were at home, obviously they've made up from their quarrel of this morning. I spent the evening with Caesar at Doc's shop. I finally went home around 9:00pm and slept off immediately.

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Golf Muscle Cramp Saturday May 04 2013

My body didn't want to wake up, it wanted some more sleep. Besides, it’s was a total wreck. The golf I played last Saturday has been playing my body especially my lower back. It aches like hell. I sit and stand slowly otherwise my scream will make the deaf hear and those who hear will go deaf. I have been rubbing a nerve ointment, its time I go to the hospital or pharmacy. I kept rolling on the bed, grimacing and wincing in pain.

Read: Awesome Golf Picnic At Lakowe Lakes: A Family Leisure And Bonding Time

I’m supposed to join the Road Warriors for our usual Saturday run. Nothing can stop me from running today, I haven't run in about a month. I ended up going very late. I was almost the last person to arrive unlike before. They were surprised to see me, my absence has really been felt. We ran. I didn't want to stress or stretch myself. I did something less than 10km instead of 15km. I felt so tired. My back is hurting me. I trekked almost 3km. I showered at Ugo's place slept a little and left.

Read: Most Essential Health Benefits Gained From Running Regular

Enque was writing a Haliburton job test at the Law School and we were supposed to meet today. She came after all, we spent some really nice time catching up. She looked very beautiful. She has a meeting some after my neighbourhood, she went for her meeting and I went home. I went straight to Onye Mama's place and ate garri and egusi mixed with oha soup. I went home showered again and slept some more.

Read: My Beauty Sleep Cruelly Denied Me

No one was at home when I got there. Ibe came in later, his entrance woke me. I drifted back to sleep in a matter of seconds. I woke finally around 5:00pm and washed my clothes. He left again as soon as I finished washing and went inside. It will appear like he doesn't want to be around me. Last night none of them slept at home.

Read: What To Do When The Help You Gave Is Giving You Hell?

According Amara's call to me, he decided not to come home when she told him she couldn't come home last night cuz of her engagements. Oh well to what purpose? To whose benefit? If it’s his idea of giving me privacy, it’s an illusionary endeavour. My true privacy and space control will only return when they depart. I went to Igbo Efon, stayed with Doc for a while before coming back.

Now It’s Your Turn. Please Don't FORGET To SHARE This POST; Golf Muscle Cramp Saturday May 04 2013 And You Friends Might Need It! Feel Free To Leave Your COMMENTS. Your FEEDBACK And COMMENTS Are Always Appreciated.

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Shoprite Security Lapse Thursday April 18 2013

Another day another dollar. Every time I wake I go first praise the lord. I rolled from edge to edge on my bed for a while before mustering the strength to get up and out. I prepared for work. My boss and Ifeanyi leaves for South Africa today, leaving me behind. I got to work, it looked as if they had already been raptured to SA. I came late but no sign of any of them. Ifeanyi came later. His visa was still not ready, providing a slim ugly chance of him not going to vuvuzela land. He didn’t really trust MD can pull it off since his visa isn’t ready yet. It’s a 50-50 situation. He says either way it goes, it’s good for him but I know that’s just a consolatory talk. He is dying to meet South Africa. In the meantime, we just gisted. We talked about any and everything mostly secondary and university juvenile lifestyles and experiences.

Around twelve, we left the office. He dropped me off at the bank and went home. I deposited some money, no queue whatsoever. I branched at Shoprite to get ma meal. Chris called me to let me know he has food in the house in case I wanna eat. Oh well I had grabbed my food at Shoprite though I haven’t paid yet. One amazing security lapse thing happened. As I was taking Chris' call I wandered leisurely out of Shoprite with the food in my hand. I moved a few distance safely away from the doors of Shoprite then my eye caught my hand. I was like why didn’t I put the food in a nylon bag then it dawned on me that I didn’t pay. I reversed immediately back to the shop. Nobody noticed what happened I believe. What happened to their security? If I were that kinda person I woulda been long gone.

I went back to the office. MD came to the office around 12:00 noon. He is gearing up for the trip. Ifeanyi's visa is still not ready, he may miss the trip. Just when hope seems to be lost, it was found again. The visa finally got approved at the dying minute. With that they left for the airport leaving me and Chris in the office. I went home early, why wouldn’t I? Caesar wasn’t back from work yet, Doc travelled so I went home straight.

Ibe and Amara weren’t at home. No food in the house, not that I gave money for food. I lay down reading on my phone. Amara came in around 10:00pm, she called Ibe with my phone to know his whereabouts. Ibe came in much later in the night drunk reeking nauseatingly of alcohol. He prepared noodles by himself, ate and went straight to bed in that stench without bathing. Yep, another chapter in the story of my life, episode things that my eyes see. I browsed a little on my lappie cuz I went home with the office internet modem before bowing gracefully to slumberland throne.

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Mukatuka Thursday April 11 2013

I’m up early. These days I wake up early and go to work early as well. I did my ritual and left for work. This week is loaded with chain of meetings and the venue is off site. Ifeanyi came to office later. Today's meeting does not involve him. We talked about this and that.

We talk about his mobile chat messenger project, I helped fine-tune the ideas here and there, spirituality and paranormal activities, etc. He asked me what stake I want in his mukatuka project. I didn’t know what figure or what to give him. He said how about giving me N100million over three years. I said that’s cool I don’t mind at all. From where I’m sitting that’s a good deal. He said it was the same stake as that of his cousin Emeka. Ever since he set out on the project I have always bantered the idea with him, which helped in a way in the shaping project towards reality. We did little office work. He left later cuz he was feeling a bit feverish. MD came to the office briefly around five o'clock.

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Thursday April 04 2013

I greeted the day a little early. I used that time to read one of MBA 804 materials I made a copy of yesterday. There was another textbook which I'm sure is somewhere in my box of textbooks. It didn’t take me long to find it. The exercise helped me rearrange that closet. So I killed three birds with one stone, I found the book, rearranged and decluttered the closet. I went to work late, my boss went to the embassy in search of visa.

Watch: Hilarious Video! Frank Donga's Travel Visa Application Interview

I was all alone in the office. Done with office task I focused on personal stuff. He didn’t give me any task to do anyway. I read. I browsed. He swung by around few  minutes after four to pick the internet modem.  The bus I boarded looked like a boys brigade tour bus. A full bus with no single female passenger. Mehn the bus had very strong, pure, raw, concentrated ''Adam'' scent lol. My life experience keeps getting interesting.

I branched at Doc's place. I gave his son a toy horse. A few days ago I gave him an incredible hulk toy. The elder son was now telling me he would love to visit me to know where I stay so he can pack all remaining toys lol. I went home and started reading my book. Ibe and his wife weren’t around. They came in separately later.

Read: What To Do When The Help You Gave Is Giving You Hell?

I had an interview over the phone with one chic friend of mine. That’s what she called it. It was a fun session of texting back and forth. She'll text the question and I text back the answer. We did that till I didn’t see any more questions, I guess she fell asleep. I also hit the sack.

Now it’s your turn. Please feel free to Share this Post; Thursday April 04 2013 and Leave your Comments. Your Feedback and Comments are always Appreciated.

 

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School Fees Payment Thursday, March 28 2013

I woke up really worried. I don’t even know how I slept. I got a call late evening yesterday that today is deadline for registration at Unilag. I don’t have the money. I had already written an appeal letter as advised by my course coordinator. It’s a freaking dicey situation. If I don’t register now and my appeal goes unapproved, I’m doomed. If I register and my appeal is approved, then I will lose the fees I paid. Fees I will borrow to pay. I told Hero earlier and he said he will give me N30000. I told Hero yesterday to transfer the money for the time has come.

I called Charles and he said he is broke but he wants to run around and raise N20000 for me. I went to work hoping for a miracle. Charles came through shortly as he said. My boss came in and paid me with a few thousands missing based on his promised increase. I told him of the shortage and his answer was like this is the amount now. His reply to my text sounded like he was going to give me N70000. He told me to ask Ifeanyi and Chris for the balance. Now I’m waiting for Hero. I called Alo he said the deposit has been made but it’s yet to reflect. Immediately I got the alert I set out to Unilag. My heart bleeds for this money that I’m going to sacrifice. I borrowed most of it, all because man's inhumanity to man. Im paying N106,000 because of one point/mark. Only God will judge Mr Ojikutu.

The bus stop was full and no buses, the two variables I don’t wanna deal with now. I waited for seemed like ages before I got a bus. Next was traffic, there's no escaping it. I went Gtbank to withdraw the money and I almost fainted. They’ve been having issue with their atm service for about 2 days now so they banking hall was crowded! Not today now! Time check 2:39pm, time is fast ticking away slowly. I had no choice. I had to join the queue and pray it moves fast. I mean the bank was crowded wall to wall, in and out. The queue is like game of snake on Nokia phone. The line crawled slowly till i cashed the N70,000.

As I was leaving I saw a course mate who had issue with the same course as me. But has different, a section of her answer script was not marked and she already scored 36. So once they mark it, she is through. We had a little chat which reopened my wounds regarding this MBA 804 issue. The school operated on a double standard. They waved up to two courses for some people who wrote the appeal earlier. It should set in black and white what they waive and do not waive. Some people who have just one course will be denied waiver because they appeal or didn’t appeal on time. What crap is that? The appeal itself takes awful lot of time. I don’t understand why it will take more a month to process an appeal. I am boxed up in my situation, its so unfair.

I went to Unilag and paid. I was misinformed on the late registration fee. I went to the wrong office, and the right office had already closed cuz it was past four o'clock. I saw Chris cruising down the boulevard of Unilag. Obviously he is after them chics. I called him, he gave me a ride to where I boarded a bus, we were heading different direction. I found my way to Obalende and once again the bus stop has no room to swing a cat. What is going on today? Buses are for some reason scarce. Once again I waited for ever to get a bus. I think I waited longer than ever. My leg aches from too much standing waiting for a bus.

While waiting on the centipede line for bus, I bought a bottle of la casera cream soda. My body waited for finishing before it started reacting funny. I decided not to drink it again. I don’t even know I drank it. Finally the bus came. All of a sudden more buses arrived. Where the hell have they all been? I got a space in the bus. As usual we went through the torture of time killing traffic.

I went straight home. I stopped at Doc's shop though he traveled to east. I gave Austin a glo internet modem I promised him. I went straight to Onye Mama's joint to mark dinner register. After the deeply filling and satisfying meal, I waltzed home. I showered and stayed outside for a while for the sea breeze. I just love the sea breeze. 

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Thursday March 21 2013

Good morning Lord, good morning beautiful March 21 2013. I feel very groggy this morning. Cherrie called me regarding her assignment, I put finishing touches to it and sent it to her. Then Ibe asked me one of those ludacris questions. He ask, ''Did you use the toilet?'' I simply answered no. Im not saying I don’t use toilets, I do. Somebody messed up the toilet. I don’t do that. It’s not my usual style. Instead of asking those whose signature it is to mess things up, scatter, disorganize, destroy, litter, make untidy, etc he is asking me whose signature is to keep clean, neat, tidy, organised, etc. I hate it when he asks me such questions. Just like asking an ostrich, 'did you fly over my roof?'

Then the wife said it was her but quickly shifted the blame to the toilet. She said the toilet is in the bad habit of regurgitating flushed stuff. She is notorious for denying things even when caught red handed, I find it very irritating. She will never simply take responsibility of a fault without having to rigmarole trying to justify why it wasn’t her fault, and that’s the part I passionately hate. I wonder what Ibe would've said or done had I been responsible for the mess. Imagine a pig asking a cat why something is dirty.

Around 7:48am Amara was like ''oh my God we are supposed to meet by 8:00am'' I felt like *+-#:"=/!@, anyway never mind. As I was getting clothes ready I stumbled on a remarkable find. Yesterday I thought I lost N4000. I just couldn’t find it. I thought it was a punishment from God for slyly taking extra N7000 from my boss/brother. I really felt bad about it. Well easy come easy go right? My face beamed with happiness when I saw it. I showered and left for work. I’m gonna open another account for my boss. Three of the requirements are yet to be provided, that’s where I come in. I will go about getting them hence complete the account opening process.

While my boss and Ifeanyi attends a meeting where they try to seal a deal. Good luck to them and me. My first assignment was a total waste of time. I went on wild goose chase to Ikota Shopping complex looking for a FIRS office and a phantom FIRS agent or tout. I got pissed by the dearth of specific info provided by the contact at access bank. I left for Marina to see the lawyer at Caxton-Martins legal firm. This was 100% successful.

I bought singlets for myself and headed back to the office. I ran into traffic. Not experiencing traffic in Lagos road everyday is like taking shower without water or any form of liquid. Bus stops are packed full with passengers, traffic is so slow a snail can easily overtake the cars. Thank God the heat is not that bad. It was 6:29pm when I got back to the office. Ifeanyi left immediately. I left a few minutes after seven o'clock. I stopped briefly at Doc's place before going home. For the first time in a looooong while I met my roomy couple at home. I ate noodles and went to bed.

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Thursday March 14 2013

I was abruptly woken up by Amarachi and Ibe's commotion. Same old shit dog, just a different day. She said she has to be somewhere by latest 8:30 am against 9:00 am. Guess what? She left the a few minutes after nine o'clock. I lazed on the bed throughout the long boring or annoying drama series theirs wishing I can just slip in another dimension like Tobi’s kamui jutsu in Naruto. I did my devotional and then my laundry. It felt good. I showered and left for office a few minutes after 12 noon. Of course I headed straight to the food section at Shoprite, can you blame me. I don’t eat well these days.

I have been asking God to give me the wisdom and peace of mind to handle this convincingly inconveniencing condition competently. Left with me I get rid of them the hard way that is by force. But I don’t think I have the mind to be that harsh. Or maybe they haven’t pushed wrong button yet. Truth is I still can tolerate them. On the other hand I like to give people long rope let me just see what they will do. Let me see if they can eventually come to their senses to do the right thing. I went work late. Ifeanyi breezed in to show off his chic like a prized trophy and then breezed out. The chic is really pretty and 21. The subtle strong parental pressure to get a wife is overwhelmingly weighing on him. 21 is the ideal age he is searching for. Her character is yet to be certified ideal.

I booked a ticket for my boss from Abuja to Owerri. I’m yet to recover my money from Aero/Interswitch/Gtbank the last time I used my debit mastercard to pay for a ticket online. They took my money instantly but the service of a ticket wasn’t delivered. I vowed never to use my atm card again for booking plane ticket. He begged me to pay that instead he will pay me the money I’m yet to recover. It sounded like a promise made by a man on top of a woman when his head is momentarily lost in orgasmic spell like ''darling I-I will, I will go to shoes, clothes, jewelries and buy you Dubai'' I paid shaa. Chris came around but didn’t stay long as it was already late.

I still couldn’t reach Nike from MBA office Yaba, she is not picking her phone. I put a little write-up about my accommodation situation on Nairaland to gauge people's reaction. Funny some people didn't believe the story! I went home. Ibe and his wife were not around. Ibe's call around 11:30 pm shattered my sleep. That was when they came in from the usual God-knows-where. It’s their latest trend these days.

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Thursday March 7 2013

I've been up since 5:00am. God woke me up when my alarm screamed. I've been playing titanium since I woke up. This song is so in my head these days. I’m sure Ibe thinks Im singing it for him. His skill in thinking such retarded thought is legendary. More dead and dying bodies of roaches kept turning up here and there. I ironed, showered and left for work early. I didnt read my devotional nor pray.

I went to the banks, deposited some cheques and created a new account for my boss. I got something for the indigenes of my stomach from Shoprite and back to the office. I wrote the appeal letter. Did some other office assignments. Yesterday when I booked a ticker for Bar. Adefunke Abiodun, aero debited my account but the ticket wasnt delivered. I sent them a mail to reverse the transaction. They want to commit murder making such a mistake on my head. They replied copying me on an email they sent to interswitch directing them to reverse the transaction. I’m yet to see that.

I booked another ticket for Ugo and NO I didnt pay with my mastercard. I went to the bank to pay. Mehn see traffic! First I had to cash a cheque at one bank before going to another bank to pay for the plane ticket. Both banks took their sweet time to attend to me. I went back to office. In a little while I went home. Chris caught a break on his dire need of cash. He told a lady friend of his who works with CBN, she was like how much is it like a rich mother asks her spoilt kid. He slyly told her slightly above the amount he wanted. She said she will take care of it. Chris was so delirious that evening.

Amara didnt sleep in the house, God knows she slept. Ibe escorted her out as I came in. By the time Ibe came back, the backdoor has been locked. His call woke me, I had to go downstairs to open the door for him. Few minutes later he asked if I had eaten, I mumbled an answer and fell back asleep.

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Dear Diary: Thursday 28-02-2013

I’m up early. I did a little work on the insurance presentation last night. Im glad I did. I ironed the clothes I wanted to wear, read my devotional and prayed. I prepared my mind for the day's task. I showered at my convenient time and left the house. The sun was merciless or should I say over efficient in the discharge of its duties of lighting and heating earth. The year 2013 didnt leap so the month of February ended today being 28th.

I needed to board Obalende bus and from Obalende take Yaba bus. There were no buses for some reason. What is the problem? The few buses that came were not going to my direction. And there I stood with other passengers like meat on the grill. This is not the kinda weather for standing at a bus stop without shade. Im sure some plants though they need it for photosynthesis will complain it’s too much.

That still small inner voice spoke to me. You know that inner voice that tries to guide us that we often refuse to listen to? Yes that voice, it spoke to me. It asked me to call my course coordinator, the man Im going to Yaba to see. I've called this petite-statured man endlessly on his two lines to the point the ring will deafen me but he never picked my call. I decided not to call again. This time the stars were aligned. First I listened to my inner voice and called. Just one dial and he picked! First I felt like maybe its the wrong number but I ignored the feeling of negativity.

I spoke to him respectfully as calmly, calculated and confident like he's a confidant. He responded likewise. He asked me if it was the only course I had an issue with and I replied yes. He then asked me to write an appeal letter to the course coordinator through the MBA School to see if there's any help they can give. I went numb with joy. Serious joy paralysis struck me as the feeling of hope was violently rekindled. I've gotta act fast.

I went straight to Shoprite to get something to eat before going to the office. At the office I worked some more on the insurance presentation, mehn its a lot more work than I thought. Ifeanyi dint come to work today. The office has been devoid of his presence for two days. He had complained of being cash strapped, oh well I am too. He pushes a range rover sports and a Benz  suv, I push none. In his cash strapped state, he still doing well compared to mine. I went home early.

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Dear Diary: Thursday 21-02-2013

Woke up. Read my devotional book. Prayed to my almighty God. I went to work late. The persistent cough and catarrh puts me through a slow start in the morning. My brother Ugo called me earlier and was like when you come to the office you will go to a proper hospital. By the I got to the office he was like you sound better. So the idea of going to a hospital went extinct like dinosaurs. We carried on with the day's work. 

Later he and Chris talked about Chris' financial situation. He advised him to be 'creative' in coming up ideas to get short finances to sustain him till his deals go through. Chris is into security consulting. He relocated from the States to Nigeria. His car he's shipping in from US will hit ports on 28th of this month and there's no money to clear it yet. Ugo then used the opportunity to talk to me about my UNILAG issue. I told him Im banking on a waiver besides that I dont know where the money will come. He said ''you will bear the pain for your mistake'' I understand that. Sometimes it seems like the pain is greater than the mistake. Not like it was a deliberate act. Yes I blame myself for the mistake. Don't blame me also for the poor educational system in Nigeria. You all went abroad to study, you dont know what its like in a typical Nigerian university of nowadays. He said I should plead, beg, roll on the floor, cry that I dont have money so they can waive the course like they used to do. If that dint work I should arrange an instalmental payment plan with them in which I pay half my salary until the extra fees is paid off.

Of course there is provision for instalmental payments but its more stringent. I can barely survive with full salary now let alone when I have to slash it in half. My rent is around the corner and its more than double of the fees. Mehn it sucks to be me right now. No! Its bucks to be me right now. I gotta get a solution to this somehow. I always do. God always gives me a way out, I just havent seen it yet

I drank too much hot water cuz of the cold. I even bought another drug called Flucoday which I'm taking every four hours. My friend Hitman sent another request text message. This time he needs transport fare to Ogun State for NIMS interview or was it aptitude test, I cant even remember anymore. The timing couldn't have been more wrong and annoying. Dude Im in need of money too!

I branched at Doctor's place on my way home. Let me tell you a little about this doctor. He is a special kinda doctor. He dint go to school to learn his profession. He laid so many innocent lives to rest during the course of his self-trained process. Unlike other doctors he doesnt save human or animal lives rather he saves the life of phones. He is doctor of phones. He fixes phones and some other electronics. That's his initial business but now he sells almost anything. His shop is next to Blessing's shop. Blessing is Ceaser's girlfriend or fiancee. Doctor's shop is my usual port of call when coming home from work either for business or pleasure. He is married with four kids but you can barely tell. I went to collect the phone I paid him to change the case the previous day. Luckily he came through. The phone really looks brand new!

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Dear Diary: Thursday 14-02-2013

Woke up early. My mind woke much earlier than my body. They had to come to a hard bargained agreement for me to finally get out the bed. I wish today was a weekend or public holiday because I felt so weak. I wanted to sleep some more to satisfy my body. I wanted to rest some more to rejuvenate my body. But my mind gotta drag me to work. Today should've been the first day of reading my newly bought Open Heavens Devotional, well for some reason I dint read it today. I should've taken it to the office. Oh no not again! That bastard bout of cough attacked me again on my way to the office. As usual there's a pretty chic on my left but not directly next to me. This cough just likes embarrassing me doesn’t it? I was admiring her and I guess she was doing the same thing because or eyes locked several times. It hadn't even crossed my mind that it is valentine's day.

The sky looks dull like it’s about to rain. I love this weather. Cool and calm, that’s my nature. It’s just the weather that is serene which is a sharp contrast from the reality of daily Lagos street activities. The hustle and bustle of chaotic Lagos is peaking. What’s more? The sun has begun piercing the dark cloak of cloud that looked like make up on the face of the sky to sneak a scorching peek to earth and its dwellers. The cloudy sky fought back and ushered in a mild shower of rain. Yeah the weather is even cooler now, I like it. The thunderstorm that followed was definitely on another level. I mean the deaf certainly must've heard it. A heavy rain fell after the thunderstorm. It would seem that the initial light shower was just a warm up for the main event.

Back to office matter, my boss and his partners are working on a deal that’s nearing closure, the smell of the money is suddenly getting strong and possibility of closing the deal is high. The Oliver Twist nature of partners is beginning to seep to the surface regarding the sharing formula of the proceeds. So my boss and had a marathon session devising a rational and acceptable sharing formula for the partners. Well we did come up with a good formula, the bad thing is Im not on it. Oh well Im not a partner. The generator serving the office has been begging for replacement but like typical Nigerians, the management of the office complex has been managing it. If the generator is not over heating, it’s another issue. Other times the gen will run till they run out of diesel. Anyway I started work on my 10 pager article on FDI. It’s a start.

Read: Dear Diary: Monday 11-02-2013

I had very pleasant surprise today. My babe that relocated to the eastern part of Nigeria visited me. I thought she was messing with me when she said was around. What a pleasant surprise! We had brief blissful time together before she left. She really looked good hmm! She gave me some kinda visual orgasm. Its been long since I saw her. I have no idea why her visit to Lagos coincided with February 14 but definitely it wasnt solely to see me. It was already 5:00pm. Earlier the girl I started seeing recently had invited me to a valentine event she was invited to holding at Scintilla Club and organized by a certain church. She said I will take her out after the event. I said I cant do both. To be precise I said in igbo '' Agaghi m aga ihe nke elu igwe, bia gaa ihe nke uwa'' Meaning I cant attend heavenly stuff and also indulge in a worldly stuff afterwards. So I effectively avoided the scintilla club event.

By the time she came from Scintilla Club it was around 9:40pm. She insisted I take her out. I set my mind on taking to Picadilly Suites but I asked her to choose a venue and she chose Picadilly as I expected. There was a life band to my greatest surprise Victor Ayara of Silverbird Television that normally presents Head2Head was onstage performing. He is good. He is versatile. His reggae performance was awesome. He also did hilife and it was banging. He did other genre too. He even tried a little freestyle and comedy. We had drinks and asuu. It was a very beautiful night. Im glad we went. We went home around 3:00am. Normally the night would've ended with some passionate love making but my friend was at my place and I can’t just displace him to wander in that early morning so I can get my freak on. But If he volunteered to do it then its fine by me lol.

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