Emotional Wellbeing: 3 Effective Tips To Healing After A Heartbreak

Emotional Wellbeing: 3 Effective Tips To Healing After A Heartbreak

Emotional Wellbeing: 3 Effective Tips To Healing After A Heartbreak

A fellow blogger Darren Shilling wrote this this piece about how to handle loss of a someone in love and I thought it will be useful to my readers. Read and be benefited.

Things change, people change, times change, ideals change. Sometimes after all that change we find ourselves standing on the other side of a significant loss. Sometimes we find ourselves heart broken without a clue about what to do. Here are three things I have learned to do in the direct aftermath of an emotional direct hit.


Don't Take It Personally
This direct attack on your happiness and security was an accident. They once loved you and you once loved them. Maybe they even wanted to be with you but felt that they couldn't. Maybe they took your situation for granted and let their emotions fade. Maybe you were still fully in love and they did some things that destroyed you because they didn't have the courage to be honest with you. No matter what their actions what they did was an accident.

At this point I'd like to add that if they are still in love with you and you are still in love with them but you broke up with them because what they did was “unforgivable”, nothing is unforgivable if you are in love.

That being said if there emotions changed it was an accident. You can fall out of love as quickly as you can fall in love. The pain you are feeling wasn't an intentional attack on you. It wasn't premeditated and purposeful. It just happened. They also thought you were going to be there when they died. They also planned a future for the two of you. They also loved you. Now that has changed but they also didn't want it to. It just did. It's unfair to hold them accountable for something that is out of their control like their feelings changing. 

Treat Everyone Involved Gracefully
At the end of the day the situation isn't going to change. The movies love to make you think that the best thing to do is lash out and attack them and burn their clothes and smash their car. It's not. Your heart is broken. I get it. It's difficult. I know that.

Any attack you make will be made on someone you once loved. Weather you like it or not they still contain something you once loved. Your pain and anger and hurt are yours to deal with. Lashing out with emotions like anger and fear is only meant to be done in the event of an emergency to get you to a place of safety. Once you have used those emotions to get away from the source of danger their purpose is over. Revenge and spite and retribution can only serve to hurt someone else. Using your pain as a motivation to attack another human being will only end up extending your pain.

Distance yourself form the situation but don't attack. You're going to recover a lot quicker if you allow those initial emotions to settle down so you can move on to the upcoming stages of acceptance, and forgiveness. Remember your goal is healing yourself so you no longer feel this pain.


Be Grateful For Having Felt Love
Maybe it's not that big of a deal to you. Maybe it's something you figure everyone gets to have at some point in their lives. Let me tell you sister (or brother) it's rare. What you felt there for a while no matter how long you felt it is an extremely rare thing on this planet. Not everyone gets to feel real love in their lifetime. Some people don't even get to feel familial love. Some people can't even find a dog that likes them.

It's pretty easy to take all kinds of things for granted if you're in a privileged country. Just like access to clean water, grocery stores, and medical care what you had was rare and valuable. Don't forget that. You received a gift that is far more rare than the diamonds they put in wedding rings. Allow yourself to celebrate the receiving of that great gift. The pain you feel now that it's over pales in comparison to the value of what you have gotten to feel and celebrate with your former lover.

Take the time to throw up a little thank you prayer to whomever you like to thank in your prayers for what you were given. It was a great reward for being a human being.

In Conclusion
You will heal and you will move on and you will love again. You are capable of feeling this again. Weather you like it or not love ends.Either someone dies or someone leaves. Either way the value of what you had with that other person is not diminished by it ending.



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