The Universe Owes Me A Couple Billion Dollars

I believe the universe owes me a couple billion dollars in my lifetime, but I have to work to get it. Let's just say I started that work earnestly this year. So I'm looking forward to making a couple millions this year. I've been enjoying some of the billions in terms great health, divine protection, healthy family relationship, etc. But I'm thinking of the billions in wealth this time around. The universe has NO OPTION but to yield to my demands. Besides the Bible assured me this in the book of Genesis 1:28

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. (KJV)

I sneezed non-stop for about a minute this morning. Who is calling my name non-stop? Where I’m from; a blessed nation in the blessed continent Africa, it is mythically believed that when you sneeze, it means your name is mentioned somewhere by someone or some people. Whether it be for good or bad, it doesn’t say. I’m expecting a couple millions from the universe this year. So as you mention my name, don’t forget to make out the check of highly profitable maximally assured deals, opportunities, ideas, resources, etc in my name. I want to cash them immediately. 2016 is the year of being efficient and effective, no time wasting, time is money. I’m not taking prisoners this year unless the prisoners are millions of dollars jailed in my bank accounts and investments.

Oh that reminds me, I had a dream last night. I found myself and Ibe at this event where we won lots of household appliances like gas cookers, washing machines, fans, etc. I have no clue where or how the dream started. I have no idea what event it was. Anyway, Ibe helped me sell my gas cooker for 300,000. I don’t know what currency it was either, probably naira I guess. It could be dollar or bitcoins. I wouldn’t mind 300,000 units of bitcoins myself. I woke up without collecting the proceeds from the sale but I must collect. He was the only person that came to mind during my sneezing episode. I gave him a call but he didn’t pick. Is he avoiding me because of my 300,000 naira/dollar/bitcoins? LOL! Lord I hope not. He better pay up. The money is mine right. I’m gonna sing his name all day setting hi up for a sneezing bout. IBE! IBE!! IBE!!! Dear readers please help me shout his name.

I did 8.51km this morning. It was hard! Getting back into running after the holiday’s roller-coaster of enjoyment is physically challenging to say the least. I was supposed to do 14km with my running crew but I overslept. I did the 8.51km alone. The infectiously motivating group energy would’ve powered me up for the 14km. I remember lazily turning off my alarm around 4:00am but I was too lazy to turn off my sleep. The run was slated to start by 5:15am, I managed to escape from bed and sleep around 6:15am. Although I’m not an endorphin junky, I’m glad I went out anyways. 

Now It’s Your Turn. Please Don't FORGET To SHARE This POST, Your Friends Might Need It! Feel Free To Leave Your COMMENTS. Your FEEDBACK And COMMENTS Are Always Appreciated. :-)

Continue Reading→

Parenting: Amazing Things That Kids Say

Parenting: Amazing Things That Kids Say

Kids are amazing gift from God. You just gotta love kids in their element, they some amazing things and gestures and also say some amazing things. I don’t have any yet but I love the ones around me and play with them a lot. I also caution them properly when the occasion demands it. The things that kids say never cease to amaze me. They exhibit wisdom way beyond their age sometimes.

My elder cousin’s 4 year old son revealed something to the father recently. The dad had picked him up from school and was heading home when he said it. This little boy is a passionate and very interesting kid. Kids just say these amazing things innocently just the way their little pure minds can grasp them. This is where the work load of parents are tested in making the kid reinforce the thought process or activity that lead to these startling things kids say or reject it and any future occurrence.

The little boy said;

4 yr old : Daddy do you know what my girlfriend told me?
Daddy  : No I don’t know. What did she tell you buddy?
4 yr old : She said I can tell her anything I want

The daddy’s eyes popped wide open, he laughed hard and then tells the 4 year old son with girlfriend issues…

Daddy : Don’t tell her anything that’s how they deceive us

He was still laughing hard. The son would’ve been a bit disappointed. He is fond of saying funny amazing things like this. I wondered what kinda conversation between male and female 4 year olds that they were having. But you know the best part of parents-kids bonding and intimacy is when you have kids that can tell their parents anything, kids that can confide in their parents. It makes it so easy to keep track of what your kids do and reduce the burden of parenting. It gives a clear glimpse into the mind of that child. It makes you fully aware of what happened in your absence so you make commendations or corrections.

Also Read: Why My Kids Are Not My World

So if there is anything bothering the kid like any bullying, sexual harassment or any kind of red flags will be nipped in the bud. It is every parents duty to strive and create sustain an ideal communication culture with their kids better understanding and raising better children.


Now It’s Your Turn. Please Don't FORGET To SHARE This POST, Your Friends Might Need It! Feel Free To Leave Your COMMENTS. Your FEEDBACK And COMMENTS Are Always Appreciated. :-)

Continue Reading→

Tears Of Supplication: A Moment With Heaven

Tears Of Supplication: A Moment With Heaven

Tears Of Supplication: A Moment With Heaven

I was playing some gospel songs today and I experienced something extraordinary. I came back from the Redeem Christian Church of God Camp this morning. This week was the 61st Annual Convention, this year's theme was simply and powerfully termed JESUS. It was my first time at the camp, the service was awesome. The crowd was unbelievable. I was so "flabberwhelmed" and "overgasted" by what I saw.

RCCG 61st Annual Convention

I got back home so tired with my knees aching like hell. I wasn't comfortable in the bus, there wasn't enough leg room for my lovely long legs. There's usually an out-of-this-world traffic during the program because of the type of crowd it pulls. It pulls crowd of Christians coming to worship God and business people Christians and otherwise coming to do business by providing essential services and goods to worshippers. I showered when I got home. Debbie gave me some food. After eating, I had a real good sleep. I felt really energized when I woke. I decided to play some songs.

I played a couple songs before the Hillsong track titled "My Heart Will Trust" played. I had been singing along. This song felt different. I felt different. It sounded different. I love the song. I love all the gospel songs I was playing.

The playlist included
Paul Wilbur - Hinei Matov Umanaim
Bob Fitts - Some May Trust In Horse (Medley)
Don Moen - God With Us (Medley)
Frank Edwards - Ome Mma
Ron Kenoly - All Honour
Paul Wilbur - Blessed Are You
Jaci Velasquez - Unspoken
Etc

The Extraordinary Experience
In the middle of this particular gospel song, 'my heart will trust', my emotions ran deep, I felt a lump in my throat. The lump got bigger and my eyes got teary. I tried to hold back the tears but I lacked the power, it just flowed while I continued singing. I didn't care if anyone was listening to my half song, half cry. I have played that song many times before without sacrificing any tear drop.

I hardly cry. During the death and burial of my sister, I shed not tear not that I didn't feel the pain deep inside. It was years later that I shed tears for when I was playing a song by The Script titled "If You Could See Me Now" because I always remember her anytime I play that song. Was this tears of joy? No it felt different. I can't really describe it perfectly. The feeling was something like "Lord though I have forsaken by my thoughts and actions please don't forsake me. I want to still trust in you, please help me help myself, I'm powerless." It was tears of supplication.

I'm not the holier than thou type of practicing Christian. I'm just trying to work my salvation with fear and trembling. I have flaws. When the tides of salty tears rose from the depths of my existence high to my eyes and started pouring out, I was flummoxed. At the same time indescribable inner peace afterwards. I replayed the song just to relive that experience. It didn't happen again. It was just that one miraculous moment. It was a moment with heaven. It was worth it. I want to have that experience again.

Below is the lyrics to the song

Hillsong - My Heart Will TrustI’ll walk closer now on the higher way
Through the darkest night will you hold my hand
Jesus guide my way
O you mourn with me and you dance with me
For my heart of hearts is bound to you

Though I walk through valleys low
I’ll fear no evil
By the waters still my soul
My heart will trust in You

O You counsel me and You comfort me
When I cannot see,
You light my path

My heart will trust in you

Please Don't FORGET To SHARE This POST; Tears Of Supplication: A Moment With Heaven! It Might Just What Your Friends Are Looking For.

Continue Reading→

Wild Goose Chase To The Edge Of Civilization

Wild Goose Chase To The Edge Of Civilization

Wednesday June 19 2013
Last night was feast of sleep. I couldn't just stay up at all. I felt like I was heavily sedated. The supposed drug didn't wear off until about 8:30 in the morning. I wasn't planning to hurry off to work because there is no specific task awaiting me and my boss traveled this morning on a business trip. As my body acclimatized to the daybreak and I began to bask in the euphoria of my momentary freedom, a call came through. It was from David a land agent. My boss gave him my number and he is waiting for me in the office. The fairy tale morning I was having just collapsed. That was when I actually woke up from sleep. I told him I'll be in the office in twenty minutes. I have no human idea where that came from. Of course I can never make it in twenty minutes, unless I use teleportation technology of alien civilization lol. I hurried off to meet them.

I got there 49 minutes later. There were two of them. We were to go inspect a piece of land somewhere at Ajah. I said ok lets go with so much enthusiasm. We filed out with me behind. When we passed all the cars at the car my spirit sank. This not the sort of trip one embarks on public transport, it'll be highly uncomfortable. So the transportation menu to the site was an appetizer trek to the bus stop. The main course was two bus rides. Traffic ambushed the second bus ride. Thanks to the clement weather it would've been messy. Then dessert was bike ride to and back from the edge of civilization literally. The road ended with a big sign board that reads ROAD ENDS HERE. It would seem we embarked on a travel adventure to the end of the world!

Beyond that point was vast virgin land and the supposed site was sandwiched somewhere in there. Naah! This land is not good. There's no access road to the place. We needed a piece of land where we can hit the ground running with our project and not where we will first of all waste time and resource inventing civilization. This is mission impossible, a glaring wild goose chase. We went back. We split at Alesh bus stop, they went to CMS and I went to Lekki. I pick the internet modem from MD's house.

One hour later power went out in the office. It got super boring. A quick nap I took turned into a long sleep. I woke up to pesky persistent bang on the door. Who on earth can it be? It was a DHL delivery man. He delivered one letter for my boss. About twenty minutes later power was restored. I did some research online regarding blogging, I'm still a novice I need to learn more. I closed at normal closing time.

Please Don't FORGET To SHARE This POST!!

Continue Reading→

Life Experience: Let The Dead Bury The Dead

Tuesday June 18 2013
Life experiences can worth a fortune. Seriously we need go through some of these experiences in life ourself. It's like dying, you die for yourself. In a telephone conversation Monday night with Chioma, I narrated to her in brief detail starting with his stupid text, the journey so far with sheltering the Ibes’. She was surprised at the text. Who wouldn't be. How can he even think of such insanely ridiculous thing. She requested Ibe's number to call him. Knowing Ibe, I advised her against it. After much pressure from her I obliged her the number. The call turned out exactly as I expected, no headway. Honestly I'm glad I had this life experience, I learnt a lot.

To my amazement though Ibe didn't go right off the bat to spew sh*t on her but he implied he is ready to spew sh*t if she bothers him again. He also LIED through his teeth that he has confronted me before about sleeping with his wife and did nothing. Chioma relayed all this to me. I got really infuriated. Now I removed the spare key finally. On my way to work Ibe called me and was like am I ready to talk. That if I’m ready to talk I should call him and not send my road dogs to call him. Before I could say a word he hung the phone on me. What is there to talk about with him? I ain't got nothing to say to you. Let the dead bury the dead.

I'm still learning more things from this unpleasant life experience. Everything you do is right. Everything I do is wrong. Keep living in that wisdom that shackles your muddled mind. I don't have time to prove how wrong or right I am to you. In zero consequence situation, I tell the truth as usual but I do not care whether people believe it or not. I just tell it so the fellow concerned will hear, you have a choice to believe me or not. It doesn't matter what you believe. I'm deeply satisfied in my soul and conscience that I told you the truth. In this case I've told the truth, "I'm tired of this association. Your lifestyle is suffocating and strangling me"



Please Don't FORGET To SHARE This POST!!

Continue Reading→

Latest 2Go Goword Tested And Scoring Word Combos For Goword Gamers Part 1

Latest 2Go Goword Game Tested And Scoring Word Combos For Goword Gamers.

This is a random post of one of my leisure activity. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. 'Work hard and play hard' is my motto. I love word games like scrabble, crossword puzzle, hangman, etc. I played 2Go goword game before die-hard, killjoy anagram cheat users spoilt the fun. So I quit playing 2Go gowords but I didn't discard my collection of 2Go goword tested and scoring word combos. Since gowords was the only reason I log on to 2Go I removed the app from my phone entirely. If you want to be a really good 2go goword player, this article is part of what you need. But if you are a lazy axx, brainless, low or no IQ douchebag anagram cheat user, then this words combo treasure is not for you.

There are lots of correct English word combos but they don't score in the 2Go goword game. This comprehensive list of premium tested and scoring goword word combos is a gold mine for any true goword game player who wants increase his game, hi score and knowledge of words generally. I'm giving out this carefully  and most-sort-after list of tested and scoring 2Go goword combos out for free. I like to appeal to anagram cheat users on 2Go goword to please use their brain and fingers for once and stop killing the fun in the game.

By the way, I just took a snapshot of a 2go goword game now, I'm not Mightiest*1 nor do I know who the gamer is.

The 2Go Goword tested and working word combos are listed below;

7 Words

SPACER pacers, capers, crapes, parsec, scrape, recaps

SPEAR spare, rapes, reaps, pears, parse, pares

6 Words

ASPIRER praiser, parries, repairs, raspier, rapiers

SEPAL leaps, lapse, pleas, peals, pales

PLATES pleats, palest, staple, pastel, petals

RETAINS anstier, nastier, retinas, retsina, stainer

ANGRIEST ganister, gantries, ingrates, granites, rangiest

DELTAS desalt, lasted, salted, slated, staled

MISTER mitres, merits, remits, timers, smiter

TRANCE canter, recant, cretan, nectar, carnet

TRACE caret, crate, carte, cater, react

TEASER easter, seater, reseat, eaters teresa

PHRASE phaser, seraph, shaper sharpe, sherpa

DRAPES padres, parsed, rasped, spared, spread

PASTE pates, peats, septa, spate, tapes

ATTIRES artiest, tastier, artiste, striate, iratest

5 Words

TRIANGLE alerting, altering, relating, integral

LOOPS polos, pools, sloop, spool

GRENADE angered, enraged, grandee, derange

SIREN rinse, resin, reins, risen

PIERS pries, prise, ripes, spire

STATER taster, taters, tetras, treats

ASCOT coast, coats, costa, tacos

PORES poser, prose, ropes, spore

RESULT ulster, rustle, lustre, sutler

PARTIES pirates, piastre, traipse, pastier

STONER, toners, tenors, nestor, tensor

BLAMER ramble, ambler, lamber, marble

PARLEYS parsley, players, replays, sparely

ERNEST nester, tenser, resent, enters

RESTRAIN retrains, trainers, strainer, terrains

RESORT roster, sorter, storer, torres

RITES resit, tries, tires, tiers

STORIED editors, sortied, steroid, triodes

STORED sorted, strode, doters, dorset

RETESTS, testers, tersest, streets, setters

ORGANISED argonised, grandiose, dragonise, organdise

DERAIL laired, railed, redial, relaid

DEARTHS hardest, hatreds, threads, trashed

ANGRIER earring, grainer, rangier, rearing

ANDREW darwen, wander, warden, warned

DRAWER redraw, reward, warder, warred

ERODING groined, ignored, negroid, redoing

SKATE, stake, steak, takes, teaks

ENLIST inlets, listen, silent, tinsel

More will be posted later. For those who want to be good goword players, this list of tested and scoring 2Go Goword word combos is your best source of learning and becoming a pro.

Please Don't FORGET To SHARE This POST!!

Continue Reading→

What Is The Correct Interpretation Of This Dream?

I had a rather weird dream last night. Where is Joseph when you need one? I'm wondering what is the correct interpretation of this dream? You how dreams are sometimes, the scenes switch or progress haphazardly. From where I can remember,  this was what happened.

The Dream
I just saw myself warding off a vehicle in the distance from a victim by hurling stones at the vehicle. I broke the right side mirror and the car drove away. I don't know why they were attacking this person. I don't know whether the person is male or female. I didn't see the face. I don't even know what kind of attack it was.

Ok next scene. I was close to the Methodist Church now and a man was walking his dog behind me. Immediately he got close he started yelling at the dog to come bite me.

I knew immediately that he was the person in the vehicle I warded off earlier. How I know? I don't know. Don't even ask. The dog won't respond. I wasn't scared. I told him he is wasting his time. Later the dog summoned courage and came after me. I didn't run. Then I noticed it had two heads! It bit my toe I grabbed the head that bit my toe and ripped the dog apart into two.

Significant Things About The Dream
A few things in the dream were pieces of my reality. The place looked very familiar. It looked like my maternal home town. I remember Adanma or Afugiri Girl's Secondary School's fence and the popular De Iriegwu's shop. I also remember the Methodist Church. I attended service there once. I don't really fear dogs that much in real life. A dog has bitten me before. Two other dogs chased me at one point and their fangs merely grazed the skin behind my knee. Most times I can always tell during my dream that I am dreaming and just play along. In this case, the dream looked like reality.

Finally, my dreams come true on very rare occasions. Beyond that I believe dreams has some deep spiritual meaning that one shouldn't take lightly. Again I wonder what the meaning of this dream is. I've not had a dog attack me in my dream before. Where are the Josephs, please help me interpret this dream.

Continue Reading→

My Freedom Of Press Threatened By An Informant

Monday June 17 2013
It's another Command the Morning Prayer session at church. By God's grace I attended. Truth be told I enjoyed this session more than the last Monday. It was so powerfully delivered by Bro. Johnson. All the song really moved/ministered to me. I felt connected. The rain drizzled a little bit the pave way for the sunshine. I washed my curtains and went to work.

Just before getting to the office my boss called me and then let it rip What is this blog I hear you set up and you talking about everyone in the family, grandma, business, etc. When you get to the office we discuss. I was like what just happened? In that little time before I got to the office I pondered on the meaning and implication of this. What could I have said that is getting bad press? I'm like Kanye West on this, bad press or good press, any press is an okay press. So who is actually reading my blog? Immediately I got to the office the blog brouhaha took center stage. I knew immediately who his informant was. It’s a piece of cake for an IT aware person to know who the snitch was. I'm guessing he has some sort of spider crawling the web for any mention of his website. I mentioned his website yesterday and his trouble started the next day. It's no coincidence.

I never said anything extraordinary. I didn't say anything slanderous. Last time I checked I'm entitled to my opinion. My boss was dead concerned about it based on how upset the guy was. He went through the post and it was not as bad as the guy painted it to him but he warned me sternly not to publish anything sensitive. Initially in his fit of rage he said I should take the blog down. In my mind I was like No Way! All I have to do is remove whatever statement responsible for the tension. If this guy was Gen. Sani Abacha or Idi Amin, I wonder what fate await me.

Later he was like, I noticed you like IT stuff, why not blog about IT which will add value and probably make you money instead of my personal diary which nobody gives a sh*t about. He's got a point. I do have an IT blog but the challenges of keeping it updated is very challenging. It takes a lot man hours, internet time, etc to research some topics. I removed what I said about the informant and his site link from my blog. Freedom of speech or press suffered a painful defeat on my blog. That closed that chapter.

I did some office work. Ifeanyi breezed in towards the evening. He asked to help him promote a Facebook page. I almost did it. Then at the corner of my "google-conscience" eye, I saw a mean ugly looking spirit of Google AdSense TOC clutching a hammer the weight of Mt. Everest when placed on a scale waiting to slam down on me mercilessly like they always do should I post something promoting a betting site. I took a moment of silence to reflect on my next option of action left to me. I told Ify dude I can't do this, the implication is heavy.

On a final note, 

Continue Reading→

How Do I Stay Physically Fit With No Motivation To Exercise

Saturday June 15 2013:

I don't know how many times my phone alarm rang but its hard work and tenacity woke me nonetheless. I didn't sleep again till morning. I have no intention of running this morning. I gained a few calories last night I intend to guard it jealously. If I run this morning, I will run into calorie credit. A dull ache hitchhiked to the morning in my head. I don't know when it got there and it held on without letting go.


How Do I Stay Physically Fit With No Motivation To Exercise.
It's good to be physically and mentally fit. Regular exercise helps ensure both physical and mental fitness. Regular exercise is a disciplined healthy lifestyle. When you focus on elaborate schedules of making money, include a portion for exercise My brother came downstairs around six, he tried to get me to run. He got me a running shoe, big a** shorts that gives a mental picture of me in hoopla hoops. I appreciate your gesture but don't waste resources on project Get-Nwabu-to-run, it’s a terribly bad investment. He eventually got the message which I massaged subtly into his mind and he gave up. Seriously I need to get my act together. I have a few reasons for not running like I used to. For instance I lose weight fast. Truth is I want to gain weight. The crew I run with has a motto; Eat Less, Exercise More, Lose Weight, Make Money! Mine for now is; Eat More, Exercise More, Gain Weight, Make Money! So you see our motivation for exercise is not in perfect sync.

I checked the time it was somewhat half past six, that’s good I have enough time before going to church for Saturday sanitation by 8:00 am.

Scary Instant Sleep
I lay on the bed engaging my phone. It was like the present was abruptly cut and shoved into the future in a split second. I opened my eyes and it was 8:28 am. WHAT?! When did I doze off and slept for approximately two hours?! By the time I managed to get dressed and go outside, few of the runners were already back. Imagine when my boss, an active member of the snails squad in the Road Warrior Team is back already. I didn't see the sleep coming at all. That could've been death.


Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness
I got home energized. I did thorough cleaning of the whole room. I cleared all the trash under the bed. I mopped the carpet very well. I fixed the torn part of the carpet. It took me a great deal of time to painstakingly and carefully to do the cleaning. I have not touched under the bed since the Ibe and wife jumped ship. Their regular trademark is richly stamped all over under the bed. I had to rush out of the house to Spar when the job was about 90% complete. I had already planned to wake up my kitchen skills again with a worthy welcome back dish. I bought some grocery from Spar. I also bought food with ice cream and some yoghourt drinks. I did justice to the food immediately I got home. I stayed indoors throughout the rest of the day.

Food For Thought
If you are like me, you want to gain weight, eat more, exercise more and make money, the natural thing to do is to find a new running crew who share similar ideology. Make more money so you can eat more. Eat healthy weight gain foods and also indulge in healthy weight gain activities. Do other forms of exercise besides running. You can walk, swim,  etc. I swim regular. Watch word is to live a healthy lifestyle.

Continue Reading→

Best Tip After A Stressful Week Is To Refresh Yourself

Friday June 14 2013: Today is World Blood Donor Day!

This year' theme is "Give The Gift Of Life: Donate Blood" In the same light I plead the blood of Jesus Christ for the world. That blood is ever sufficient. The blood of Jesus doesn't discriminate. That blood is compatible with any blood group. The blood of Jesus Christ protects those who believe in it. The blood washes away all sins, infirmities and life misfortunes. If you haven't subscribed to the blood of Jesus, please hurry before it's too late.

Nigerian Danfo Bus Experience

I stayed up from around 2:00am till a few minutes after when I dozed off. I knew I was going to pay by waking up late in the morning and I did. I washed a few boxers, showered and off to work. I shared the front seat with an elderly lady. The gentle Nigerian bus conductor forgot to ask me for money. I gave it to him nevertheless. The woman noticed it and commented on it. The bus conductor couldn't get my balance cuz I gave him N500 note. She offered to pay for me instead to save the poor guy the trouble. I thanked her.  Its one of the nice Nigerian danfo bus experience.

The day moved really fast. I bought a bottle of champagne and red wine for a little get together at Dalu’s place. We work hard, it's only right we play hard. Later in the evening we went over Dalu’s place. We were the first to arrive. Light refreshments started immediately. I love the ambiance of his place. His wife is a very beautiful young looking lady. You can’t even tell she has two boys! On top of that, I hear she got great behaviour and attitude deposited in her.

Exquisite Home Air Refresher
There were so many different kinds, designs and makes of air refreshers, the house smelt like olfactory orgasm. The smell for a first timer is so exotic and will instantly influence your mood as it plays on your memories and fantasies of wonderful things. I’m sure they are accustomed to the smell by now. He has really beautiful art works, not many as to be a clutter. Family pictures were part of the decorations too. You can’t miss them. It is just an exquisite setting. I'm seriously thinking of starting an air refresher business.

Party Food/Refreshments And Discussions

Slowly the place got filled up. Then the food came out. More drinks came out. I don't even know all the people here. The alcohol keep flowing, Dalu's two boys refused to go to bed. I ate the much I can. I also drank the much I can. My calories level must’ve shot up by now. Luckily I belong to the club that wants their calorie up though I run with the club that wants their calorie down. There were so many groups discussing different topics of interest, mostly money. In this setting you can exchange privileged valuable information to help each other’s business or career.

Men's Six Pack Talk

Imagine my surprise when I stumble on a group of grown men discussing Craig David's six pack buffed picture on Linda Ikeji Blog! You guys visit Linda's blog too? Which spell is Linda using? I have a blog too you know! I saw that post on her blog but ignored it. It's amazing the huge response from readers on abysmally shallow posts. The internet culture is a funny one, you'll be surprised the age bracket that sieve through Linda Ikeji's Blog daily on their internet journey.

All good things come to an end. People left at different times depending on individual's convenient time. I don't even know what time we left. I slept at my brother's place.

Call To Action

Based on what I shared with you today take time to unwind from everyday stress. Take vacation if you will. It's a healthy lifestyle, live healthy. Investment in your health is very essential and should come first. Don't over indulge in wining and dining to avoid creating medical situation for yourself. Put some air refreshers in your home and make it smell sweet, fresh and inviting to you and your guest. Hit the internet once in a while free useful information abound there.

Make Money! Live Healthy! Love Your Life!

Continue Reading→

Don't Be Adventurous In A Chinese Restaurant, Know What You Are Eating!

Please when you go to Chinese restaurant, don't just nice sounding meals on the menu they may taste so good to you, speaking from experience. Ask what you are ordering first. What I want to share with you today reminds of what happened a few years back. We went to a Chinese Restaurant called Saipan. It was a little get-together for the office. So the order for food was made mostly by the ogas but we individually chose our drinks/poisons. When the food was served, most of us can't wait to taste this exquisite exotic oriental dishes. We don't care if they were healthy Chinese food or not.


There was this thing that looked fried shrimps. I scooped more than enough of the shrimp-like looking dish to my plate. More people did what I did. I took one spoonful and I was screaming uncontrollably in my mind for the fire service to put out the fire raging in my mouth. This stuff crazy hot chili pepper. I tried to hide my predicament from public display lol. I don't know when I emptied my glass of red label. I sat back and watched everybody who scooped that fried chili and they all learnt their lesson the hard way just like I did.

Moral of the Story: Always be sure of the cockroaches and frogs you are order at a Chinese restaurant!

My boss shared his food with me today Thursday June 13 2013 afternoon. One look at the content in a deep white bowl convinced me it was moi-moi. I cut and tossed a sizeable portion in my mouth, bad mistake. I remembered the warning in our chemistry laboratory back in Government College Umuahia which says; “DON’T Sniff, Touch Or Taste Anything” I used to taste out the chemicals on people’s notebook especially when their eyes are elsewhere lol! My taste buds recoiled sharply to safety, I spat the portion out at a dizzying speed. What the hell was that? What kinda moi-moi is this?

I had to ask my boss, bros no vex o what kinda food be this? He said it’s wheat and added it’s healthy. That was when I noticed the other plate with soup. The wheat is the swallow (like garri) for the soup. I have never eaten wheat as swallow before. I’m not the adventurous type with food. I’m finicky with food. The soup was ogbono or draw soup. How worse can it get? I hardly eat ogbono soup. I’m going against these unfriendly food tag team. My grumbling stomach decreed I eat the wheat and ogbono soup plus I wanted to taste the wheat. I just shoved the bolus down my oesophagus. It didn’t look like eating, it was like punishment. I finished my meal with a huge soup left over while MD almost licked his plate clean. He loves ogbono/draw soup. 

One man's corned beef is another man's cyanide. That's my version of one man's meat is another man's poison.

Continue Reading→

Sometimes The Universe Seem To Work Against You But Devil Is A Liar

You know sometimes it seems like the universe just work against you and you wonder why. If you are most true Christians you begin to remember the sin or sins you committed that may be standing in your way of success. The truth is sometimes in eyes of limited understanding we think the universe is hurting us but in indeed the universe is helping us. Always remember these quotes below.

Once You Make A Decision, The Universe Conspires To Make It Happen
Ralph Waldo Emerson

When You Want Something All The Universe Conspires In Helping You Achieve It 
Paulo Coelho

Question is; "What Decision Have You Taken or What Do You Want?" May we not find ourselves in such situation where the universe work against us. May the universe always work to our benefit and favour!

Dalu dashed into our office Thursday June 13 2013 afternoon, his internet ran out in the middle of an important email. He needed to just send an email. It was like God turned his back on him for a split second. His email won’t let him sign in. Okay he signed into his yahoo and it stopped responding. He fiddled with for some minutes and Firefox stopped responding all together. Na wa o! He switched to Google chrome. He also switched to my Gmail account. The Gmail compose page froze for a moment then continued working. In the middle of writing the all-important mail there was a brief power cut which caused our internet modem to reboot. He looked at me with a pitiable expression of frustration etched on his face then he gasped “What Did I Do?”

I’m no evil genius but it amused me. I’ve been there, done that. I understand perfectly in every fiber of my being what tremendous torment he is going through and how he is feeling. The email must be really be jinxed. This is the kind of situation that makes people say things like; “Devil Is A Liar” “That Juju No Go Work” “If They Send You Tell Them Say You No See Me”, etc. The Swift modem rebooted momentarily. He continued composing his email. The last straw that broke the camel’s back was when he tried to attach a 63kb file, just 63kb. It kept loading and loading and loading. The file took enough time to deliver the mail by DHL still it kept loading! The voodoo priest frustrating his effort is really powerful lol!

I was troubleshooting the problem all the way but more troubles kept shooting him. I then asked him to use the windows 8 laptop instead. That was his salvation. He succeeded in sending the email and left our office.

Continue Reading→

Blame It On The Rain If I Skip Work Today!

Thursday June 13 2013
Its so good to be back to the land of the living this morning. As I was taking my cold bath this morning, Lekki was being bathed as well. Blame it on the rain if I skip work today lol. I had secretly prayed for the rain cuz I was so not in the mood for going to work this morning. My mind is burdened by rent issue. When the rain fell, it was a sweet orgasmic relief. Somehow I felt the burden being washed away like sins being washed away by the blood of Jesus. I imagined how swiftly this prayer was answered. Was it a dumb luck? Did God look into my heart and just for my sole sake bathed Lekki this morning? Was it planned or predestined to rain this morning regardless of what I wanted? I can never know the answer to these questions.


As the soap lather slithered down my body to the bathroom floor and disappeared out the waste water outlet on the floor I watched as limitless silvery raindrops hurl themselves on building roofs and wash off to the ground. Some rooftops are rusty, I imagine it may hurt the raindrops. I wondered if they enjoyed what they were doing. I wondered what the lifespan of a raindrop was. If I were a rain drop, where would I like to fall on? Probably in juicy cleavage of a beautiful lady. Get your mind out the gutter. I toweled myself dry and eased myself into a comfortable position on the bed, also eased the laptop comfortably on my lap. Lekki is still taking her bath, even if the rain stops it will only take the dry season to completely towel it dry like I just did. I work a little on the office task with some difficulties and then gravitated naturally to my write-up.

The rain took a break for the day after a while. I left for work. I got to office less than three minutes ahead of my boss around a few minutes before eleven o’clock. He passed me one of his new laptops that I configured some time ago, this time I’m copying documents and media from my office laptop to it. That got me busy for a while. I hate the navigation on Windows 8. Is it me being stuck in the past or do you guys love windows 8? Bill Gates must be really proud of his Windows 8 right now. I prefer Windows 7 anytime!

I went to the bank as usual to make some payments. Later in the evening an unexpected individual checked on us. The door slowly cringed open and we had eyes fixed on the door and the last person we anticipated strolled in. MD exclaimed! We all burst into a hysterical laughter. It was Ifeanyi, the dude who resigned a few days ago! He didn’t come to work though. But there was genuine excitement in the air just seeing him. We spent the rest of the evening gisting about life, work, family, relationship, you name it. MD left for a meeting at Whitbaker Hotel Ikoyi some minutes after 5:00pm. Ify took his leave also. I stayed behind till 6:45pm.

Already Caesar had whatsapped me that he is waiting for me at Lekki roundabout. I rushed over to him and transport fare was saved. we talked about my write-ups. He was really thrilled reading my blog article. He never knew I could write. We spent some time at his babe’s shop before I went home. In the morning when I was leaving my room I saw the carcass of butterfly or was it a moth on the door mat outside. Poor thing. This evening I saw another one indoors beside the water dispenser. Who, what and when was open season declared on butterflies? Who or what is doing the killing? I hit the sack.

Continue Reading→

One Of Those Slow Day At Work

Wednesday June 12 2013
The year is steady running out, what have I achieved so far? I'm in a thinking-of-my-rent state of mind. My landlord hasn't said anything yet. That's his style, he usually keeps quiet by this time. I noticed it last year, first time I didn't pay on time. Only a miracle can save me now. That's what I'm hoping on God and also exploring material avenues too. I meditated on the Open Heavens and prayed. I haven't seen Amara for some time now. I haven't seen Ibe at all. The last time she came, she picked quite a few clothing items including their towel. I’m guessing they must’ve gotten a kitchen where they are. I pray they get a complete wardrobe too to take all their things. I wish them the best wherever they are.

I took my bath and left for work. My boss came to the office late morning, he took his sweet time. I guess he wanted to work from home. I called Ify's line but it was unreachable. I'll place another call later. The office is now just the two of us. I wonder how we are gonna survive. Yahya got a new gig with the Lagos office of one of OBJ's establishments. I wonder how green the grasses are over there. Im cocksure it's definitely greener than here at its current state. Just as we were acclimatizing to the shock, Ifeanyi resigned. I didn't see that one coming. This place is going to be very boring I tell you. I will do 0-60 in -60 seconds If I get an opportunity like Yahya's. Work was kinda slow today.

MD spent ample time on phone talking shop. I spent ample time idling away cuz we had power failure issue again at the office. I paid some bills both office and personal. The office was a bit awkward today with just me and MD. Since his supposed team mates whom he worked on the PPM with have deserted him, he passed a bit of the buck to me. He gave me a task to merge two documents (an MS Word PPM and an MS PowerPoint presentation) to look like one and at the same time not really be one.

I’m hungry. My boss shared his food with me earlier but did you see small area the ration occupied on the plate? I couldn’t go to Shoprite. My mouth didn’t taste anything else till the evening arrived. I took a one way ticket to Onye Mama’s place on my way home. They may not have the best healthy food but the have the best affordable quality food in this area. I took care of belly matters, task completed.

Continue Reading→

Fumigation Didn't Get Rid Of The Nigerian Mosquitoes, What Next?

Tuesday June 11 2013
Today my boss comes back citeris paribus. What do I have planned out for today? Not much really, being a travel guide for MD is definitely not one of them. I’m gonna work from home until I get a call from my boss that he is coming back then and only then will I go to the office. That is provided there is power at home. I haven’t called Ifeanyi yet since he resigned, I need to speak with him. I did some small chores first as a result I read my open heaven late today. I prayed, downed a bowl of cereal.

The fumigation didn't get rid of the mosquitoes. I have already started having the unwanted and unhealthy company of mosquitoes in my room that was fumigated recently. This is the fifth day after the room was fumigated! I've not even started reaping the health benefits of the fumigation.

I specifically asked the oga of the fumigation crew how long the fumigation will keep mosquitoes at bay and he said 3 MONTHS! I want to enjoy the benefits of the fumigation for at least one month! I know I had an ample exposure to the health hazard of the fume. These people just mix milky solution with toxic fumes strong enough to take down an elephant but weak enough to keep mosquitoes out for at least 5 days. It’s so annoying.

Is it that the Nigerian mosquitoes are insects of steel that can't be killed even with kryptonite or is it like I said the fumigation solution is just a ruse?

Next I calculatedly inserted myself intensely into the internet, the internet culture has it good and evil. There are so many things I want and need to research especially about blog SEO, if only the ripe and conducive condition is always at my disposal. I will explore or research till I drop! I stayed glued to the white screen till 12:33 pm when my boss called. Earlier Godwin his driver called to inquire if he will go to the airport today to pick MD. His move is dependent on MD’s call. The call is finally here. He instructed me to come with the driver so I can monitor his driving like his driver instructor.

I dressed up quickly and left the house. I passed the info to Godwin. He is to meet me at MD’s house. There was no fuel in the car so I drove to the filling station for fuel. I did that out of adventurous temptation to drive the car since I’m with the car keys and to eliminate waste of time when Godwin shows up. I bought more than half tank of fuel. I got breakfast from Spar, not one of those super healthy foods. Now I wait for Godwin.

He called complaining of heavy downpour in his area. Meanwhile the sun was happily and diligently doing its job in the Lekki area. I ate my delicious breakfast in the car once I got to MD’s house. Gradually the weather changed and the journeying rain reached the corridors and doors of Lekki. It rained for a while. Trust Lekki, flood is up already in some areas. Godwin is still nowhere to be found. My boss landed in Lagos but had to take a cab when I told him the situation.

He got home after about an hour or so. We talked about this and that. Then I asked him to reimburse me for the fuel I bought. He was like how? Who drove since Godwin didn’t show up? He has never believed I can drive. I don’t want him to believe either, it’s perfectly fine by me. I don’t want to turn to his substitute driver. He was so surprised. If only Godwin showed up this awkward moment would’ve been avoided smoothly.

My mind was preoccupied with some thoughts as I left MD’s house. I walked down the road towards the bus stop. A girl probably in her late twenties was coming in the opposite direction. The unladylike way she was walking caught my attention. She was just bouncing like some irregular guys would. Noticing I was looking at her, she locked her eyes to mine. In that moment we were about to walk past each other she said; “In the name of God come.” I was like “huh?” I didn’t quite hear the last word I think it was “come.” Are you kidding me?! I kept going wearing a stern unfriendly look without looking at her again. She starts following me behind and goes on;

“Answer me na. Answer me na! Na so una go dey suffer for Lagos. Stupid people!”

With that she turned back and continued heading the opposite direction. What in the world just happened? As I continued to walk towards the bus stop I wondered what onlookers or passersby who witnessed this think transpired now. This was the last thing I expected today. I’ve heard stories where a few men got into trouble for innocently and unknowingly helping out heartless prostitutes who turn around to claim the men slept with them and refused to pay. For the average eyewitness on the street, it’s pretty difficult to tell the truth. Thank God for the way it turned out. I took a bus home.

Continue Reading→

Worked From Home, Cashed Wire Transfer From The Bank

Monday June 10 2013

Monday Morning, I landed my 5:00am alarm a technical knock and continued my sleep. That move might've been influenced by the fact that I won't go to work today. My eyes opened again around 5:35am then I remembered a new church program introduced during yesterday service. It's called 'Command The Morning.' It's a one hour morning prayers session from 6:00am to 7:00am. I decided to give it a trial since I’m not rushing to work this morning. Even if I was going to work I can still make it. I went and it was worth it. I didn't do my personal morning prayers again. As soon as I marched inside, PHCN restored power.

I instantly ceremoniously buried myself in my laptop. Yeah I'm working from home. I browsed the internet corner to corner looking for blog tips. First I searched for a nice seo enabled 3-column cute blogger template/theme for my blog. I didn't see any. The place was cluttered with 2 column seo templates. I just love 3-column. I even googled the merit and demerit of each type of template. Not much difference. I just love the look of 3-column and it's good for ads. I found some other tips about seo. Mehn there's so much to learn about blogging. My blogging approach is still that of an expert novice. I'm torn between full commitment and other handicaps like internet subscription, power supply, time, etc. I'm also in the dilemma of defining my niche and suitable keywords.

I explored the web in depth with an incredible rapt attention that defies ordinary understanding till around 3:28pm. Holy Smokes! The banks will soon close. That was when I remembered I needed to withdraw the double wire transfer Victory sent me via Skye Bank. I have two money transfer cash I'm yet to collect. On the triple I hurried out of the house. Luckily a Skye Bank is close by. Still I have to go through two different modes of transportation to get there. The bike weren't forthcoming. I was so restless. The lord finally sent me a bike, we sailed through the flooded road to the main express. The buses took their time which I don't have before pulling up at the bus stop. I kept checking the time every few seconds.

Yaaay! I made it to the bank by 3:43pm. This is my second time of coming to this particular branch of Skye Bank for bank transaction. I picked up two money transfer forms for my purpose. Skye Bank calls it Flitcash A snag appeared as I filled out the forms. I don’t remember Victory’s address! My phone won’t browse for me to get the info from my email. The bank won’t overlook that detail since I don’t have an account with them. In my flustered state it never occurred to me to call Victory for his address. Luckily one of the bank staff suggested it. I called it went straight to voicemail, great! I left him a short voice message. I asked if the wire transfer expires after a certain time but they didn’t provide any useful answer. I must withdraw this cash today no matter what!

My God wasn’t on vacation, He never is. Victory called me back and gave me the address, guess what. It was different from the address I wanted to get from my email! I collected the wire transfer in the end. I stopped at Ojomu for beverages. I went home, I went on to inform Victory that I’ve collected the money, I went nowhere else for the day. 

Continue Reading→

Beloveth, Being A Church Worker Is A Worthy Cause

Sunday June 09 2013

I think I remember shutting up my two phones as the 5:00am alarms went off like most of you do. Those irritating noise, they shouldn't just test me now for their own good. The next time I looked at the clock it was 6:20am! What?! I'm supposed to be in church by 6:55am for church workers meeting! How could I have overslept on a day like this? We all know the answer to that irrelevant rhetoric. I hurried like I've never hurried before. My nickname today should be Flash. I made it to church before 7:00am. What a relief. We had a church workers meeting before the service proper. Today was a thanksgiving service. It was wonderful

Finally The Redeem Christian Church Of God Light Of The World Parish has posted us the new church workers to different departments. I was posted to the Ushering and Sanitation Department as my Primary and Secondary departments respectively. We are yet to be officially presented to the congregation as church workers. I had wanted to be in the technical but it’s all good. I have no problem with the departments I found myself except I'm not much of a suit and tie person. As a matter of fact I have only one suit and a couple of ties. Lara was like I'm tall, handsome and suitably qualified for the ushering department. She was posted to the Technical and Evangelism Departments. I went home.

I slept first. I slept off in the middle of writing this entry. It would've been creepily nice if I continued in my dreams. A knock on the door ended my sleep. It was Deborah, another church worker. She came for the package she put in my fridge last night. I grabbed my laptop to surf the web and check my mails. I wanted to prepare sometime but once I get glued to the web and its informative as it's usually is, every other emotions is overrode. I was still online when Caesar came over.

This is the second time he has come to my place after my roomies started sleeping somewhere else. He never showed up when they were around. He was quick to point out the greasy look my room aesthetic wore as opposed to the shiny, fresh and clean look it was before the arrival of my roomies. We spent some time at my place then hit the spar to pick a few things. I picked an Adidas deodorant. He picked some drinks. I drove on our way back but we switched again when we got to the flooded road. I don't know where the potholes are so I don't want us to get stuck. The gist flowed nonstop till we got to his place.

Blessing prepared a hot meal for us. It was semo and ogbono soup. Blessing is a church worker in her church. I'm not friendly with ogbono soup. I haven't eaten it outside my house before. Well my stomach took the decision against all my protest. Should I say my protest fell on deaf stomach or empty stomach? The ogbono soup had a little bitter leaf in it hence the bitter taste. I finished and thanked them. Caesar gave a wheat wafer, sorta like baked cornflakes. I went home to warm my bed.

Continue Reading→

The Best Place For Affordable Grocery Shopping And Avoid Terrible Traffic

The Best Place For Affordable Grocery Shopping And Avoid Terrible Traffic

Saturday June 08 2013

My boss is heading to Abuja today. Normally that ain't my business until I was tasked to accompany the driver back and keep the car keys. He asked last night to come around 10:00am today for the task. I lazed about in the house before leaving. I got there on time and wasted some precious 45 minutes or so before he came out. We dropped him off at the airport. There was dead silence in the car most of the way to Murtala Mohammed Airport Terminal 2. I preferred it that way. Sometimes you just wanna enjoy the sounds of silence. It's a soul soothing music. I'm thinking of the affordable grocery shopping I will do later.

I was feeling sleepy for some reason. My boss was feeling sleepy too. I wonder if the driver felt sleepy too cuz that will be dangerous. We went to Ebeano Supermarket to buy some items as directed by my boss. This supermarket is the best place for affordable grocery shopping within Lekki Phase 1. Some people don't do grocery shopping at Shoprite because of the toll and traffic. Suddenly without warning whatsoever rain started pounding our corner of earth. Rain always causes unusual traffic. The traffic was even evident in the supermarket car park as cars shuffled in and out of parking lots.

One woman was just causing unnecessary traffic due to her usefully useless stubbornness plus she can't drive well. On the flip side she was avoiding scratching her brand new purple Toyota Prado. She was blocking us and other cars, somehow Godwin got a way around it and we left. We dropped the items bought plus the car at the house, the rain was still drizzling. Godwin comes to work on his motor bike. He gave me a ride home.

I branched at Ojomu market for grocery shopping. Spontaneous shopping took over and I spent more than planned. Lara waltzed into same provision store where I was. We exchanged warm pleasantries. She just picked one item and left. I still haven't bought the major item that brought me to the market. I have to check on a different line for that. I got it eventually. I bought some items that I didn't budget. I took a bike home. The ride home is like jet skiing cuz of the flood. Caesar was just leaving my apartment when I got. I dropped my grocery shopping bags and went back to Lekki with him.

We went to see a friend of his who happened to be sister to Anita who is Paul Okoye of PSquare's girlfriend. We hung out. We grabbed a deeply satisfying lunch from Bukka Hut in Lekki, their price is affordable. They ate rice and I committed suicide like Bright Chimezie's song which means I ate garri lol! I ate the garri with edikangikong soup, it was very lovely. If I eat three square meals here every day, you won't recognize me! We went back to the house of Anita. She just rented the place so they are still moving stuffs furniture and fittings gradually. We spent some time chitchatting till evening before I left them. I was still feeling sleepy. I had to sleep before my system crashes. I sleep to my heart and soul content.

Continue Reading→

When Working From Home Works Perfectly

Friday June 07 2013

Here is a little weather class about Nigeria. We have two major seasons in Nigeria which is the Rainy/Wet and Dry/Harmattan season. Simply put, rainy season brings the rain and the dry season brings no rain hence dryness/dust and harmattan. We are in the rainy season now. The intensity of the rain and harmattan varies from region to region. Lagos is a notorious flood prone state. Its rain can be a real pain in the axx. The rain comes down and the flood goes up. It rained heavily last night. Honestly I didn't know how much it rained till I went outside......and the waters covered the sea. So if you want to enjoy Lekki, be wary of the season.

The rain was indeed heavy! I must go to work regardless, whether by boat or submarine since I don't have a car yet. I wore rain boots and waded jungle style through the flood, past the flood to Doc's shop where I changed back to my normal shoes and hit the road. Ifeanyi was driving out as I was coming in. He was playing his music at usual loud volume though his windows are tight shut. Personally, I don't like putting my eardrums through tremendous stress of very loud volume. It is torture. Besides its a health hazard as it can cause hearing loss. We went to MD's house, that will be work office today.

My boss' family travelled so his once rowdy house was very conducive for intellectual work. Family is a lovely thing but can be a distraction when you want to work from home. i think I need me a vacation with the family too. We ate breakfast and lunch at the house, call it benefits of working from the house. We had a real long discussion regarding mostly Ifeanyi's rent and mine.

My boss made some comments which I found a bit improper. Ifeanyi didn't take them lightly too. Cuz by the time he got home, he sent a resignation letter via email. I'm gonna miss him, he's a nice guy. I did a few bank runs and back. I worked on the presentation again with my boss and got a better copy. I'm 100% sure by tomorrow it won't look very good to him. I went home. I went straight home not branching anywhere besides where I bought suya. I ate my suya and viju milk and dozed off.

Continue Reading→

Man Of Steel Saves The Day Scopium Style

Wednesday June 05 2013

The sleep got sweeter in the wee hours of the morning. Why does it always happen like that? It was a bit of a struggle to get up. How I wish today was a Saturday. I woke up late, my master sleep slaved me so much. I didn't do Open Heavens. I sent my boss a text when I got to the office that I want to get to the school. He asked me to wait behind so I can take a package to Ben. As soon as he arrived I took the package and set out on a journey. I sieved through the traffic to Oniru bus stop then walked over to Mega Plaza. Today a lot is riding on me. I'm gonna be like man of steel and save the day.

I went to the Watch Doctor's shop at Mega Plaza to fix my Kenneth Cole watch. I thought it was a battery problem which will cost me N1000. But when it was opened, they told me something disturbingly different. According to them, rust has affected the engine. I blame the rain for the rust. It will now cost N8000 to fix which comes with seven month guarantee. Nope I can’t pay that. I can get a good brand new watch for that amount. I made my way to the next office on my list. I was a few blocks away from the post office Victory when called. I had wanted to call him earlier. He said the package has arrived, that makes things easy cuz I'm on my way to the post office. I got to the post office, the package just arrived. They haven't even logged it in yet. I grabbed the package and left. Mission accomplished one less thing to worry about.

Next stop is Caxton-Martins office on the 9th floor of St. Nicholas Hospital Building at Marina. I picked up a green tie and two black stockings from one of the boutiques on my way to Caxton-Martins. Mr. Ben was in a meeting so I dropped the package with Jumoke the receptionist for as long as I can remember. The first day I went to Caxton-Martins some years ago, I was singing Quando Quando Quando by Michael Bublé feat. Nelly Furtado. I love the song. She was at reception then. She lighted up with such inexplicable excitement. She gleefully announced to me she has been singing the same song all day! To drive her point home conclusively, she called out a colleague on the intercom. The young handsome man came and she asked him

Jumoke: What song have been playing and singing today

The guy: Quando quando quando

The guy blurted out the much anticipated answer. The atmosphere was electrifying. We felt connected. Ever since then we've been friends. I became her man of steel and she my Lois Lane. She gives me special attention whenever I come around. Sometimes I purposely make unusual demands to see what she'll do and she never disappoints. I wasn't so chatty today and I didn't realize it but she noticed it. She inquired what the matter was and I answered that I'm tired and thirsty. She did her magic and a glass of water chilled to my taste was in front of me. It was highly refreshing, I thanked her. She's a darling. I left Caxton-Martins for the Nigeria Police Station Alagbon Ikoyi. I had to go through Obalende.

At Obalende I saw some policemen on duty on the road. My instinct or my spirit ministered to me to ask a particular policeman for direction. I don't know where this Alagbon police station is. Man of steel do need help sometime especially kryptonite is involved. This is the first time in my entire life of going to the police station on my own and the second time I've ever been to a police station. The first time I escorted a friend to see a high ranking officer regarding a vandalization case at his place of work. Funny enough it’s the same Ikoyi but different police station. As God will have it the policeman I met Inspector Nwambu Remigius happened to come from Imo, Mbaise to be precise. I told him I wanted to do a police report. He gave me direction and also gave me a name of whom I should meet. He warned me that other policemen will be all over me hustling to attend to me once I get there that's why he gave the name.

Immediately I pictured touts that infest the Immigration office, hustlers at the markets like Yaba, money changers at Eko or Federal Palace Hotels. They all have one nasty thing in common, they hustle for customers even to point of fight sometimes. Then I tried to picture the policemen behaving in the same manner at the station, it was a disgrace. In my mind I was like Inspt you are employing hyperbole right? As I was leaving he added;

I stay here so when you are leaving if there's anything, you can see me here.

I almost forgot you are a Nigerian policeman. Nevertheless I'm very grateful for his assistance.I got to the Alagbon Police Station and warning played out more than I anticipated. It was a dynamic disgrace! They rushed like I was warned. I was so ashamed of my country's police force. There is the main Force Criminal Investigation Department (FCID) and the annex building. The officers in these two building from what I saw literally hustle for ''customers'' Each building had one or two men stationed outside the entrance like a lookout. They were all calling me to come and ''shop'' at their different ''shops'' just the way hustlers at Yaba market does it. They almost tore my limbs apart as they dragged me. If I were an actual man of steel, I would've thought them a tiny lesson about dragging someone who don't know.

IT WAS SO SHAMEFUL! I WAS SO ASHAMED OF THE POLICE FORCE!!!

Are they paid on commission of sales, I mean cases they record daily? Is the bribe here that lucrative? Unfortunately I didn't get their names. For sake of clarity let me label them Dragger Main and Dragger Annex for the main and annex building respectively. I have a piece of reference from Inspector Nwambu so all this gragra won't get them anything. I went to the annex. I spoke to the man behind the counter. I've forgotten his name. His approach appeared like a real police work. But don’t be fooled it’s all a marketing strategy act. I handed him the note from Inspector Nwambu and you can visibly tell he was highly disappointed. As he was coming to terms with the loss of a potential customer, another officer clad in mufti entered, I'm guessing his rank is above that of the man attending to me. He came in accompanied by Dragger Main.

He came to inquire why ''customer'' i.e. me going to their ''shop'' was cornered! Can you believe that?!! Then Dragger Main made a remark that Dragger Annex should be warned not to behave like that again. This shameless show of shame all played out before my eyes! It all happened too quickly. I stood there, mind, body and soul paralyzed with disappointment. It turned out Inspector Jeremiah's office is the main building. I was directed to his office. I explained myself that I need a police report. He said it will cost me N10000. I knew he just set the scene for price haggling. I asked Inspector Nwambu to give me an idea of the fee but he declined cunningly telling me he has no idea I believe he was lying. He may be telling the truth too.

I said I have N5000 he accepted. The way he accepted convinced me beyond doubt that the fee has to be a lot less than N5000. Long story short, I got the police report and left. I didn't go back to Inspector Nwambu like the three wise men didn't go back to King Herod. The ticket I booked for Ugo's mum had a little issue and she missed her flight. Aero couldn't synchronize seamlessly with their numerous bank payment outlets. Ugo sent me a text asking where I made payment. I replied with the wrong bank. Enterprise and Keystone bank always confuse me. It was a lot easier when they were Spring Bank and Bank PHB! He called me, yelled a bit that I should sort the problem. He then sent me an Aero staff number. I called and sorted it out.

Victory called. I told him my progress and he was audibly thrilled. I saved the day on that on getting the police report. He suggested I mail the police report to him immediately which makes sense. On my way back to Lekki I checked DHL and Fedex. The charge was N11,000 and N7,680 for DHL and Fedex respectively. Victory preferred DHL cuz it'll be faster. I sent the package on its way to overseas. I branched at Shoprite to grab dinner. I went home straight as the crow flies. Amara was at home chatting away with Fifi. I greeted them. She cooked okra soup, this time around she didn't leave any for me. That's better cuz the last time she did I only ate the meat. I don't really her brand of okra soup. They left shortly. I ate my dinner and went to bed.

Continue Reading→