Today wasn't like yesterday when I was under strong sleep
spell but my effort to sleep well was frustrated by Ibe and co. I woke up at
the usual time did my morning ritual and read the workers-in-training manual.
Mehn this approaching exam is getting me nervous, why should I be? Maybe cuz I
haven't prepared to my heart's content. Not that I can fail it, that is so
impossible but I’m not satisfied with my preparations so far. I need to be in
office by twelve noon so I still got some time before I leave. I went to the
kitchen, drank water and took a moment to relish my cleaning handiwork of
yesterday. Just look at how clean the wall and window sparkles. I wonder if my
roomies noticed how clean it looks. Seriously I always wonder if they can
actually tell the difference. Regarding tidiness, you might as well label them
ataxomaniacs.
I got to the office around 12:12 noon. Ify was yet to
come. He came in looking so corporate and all. That’s very unlike him, I bet
there's a business meeting today. Victory my good friend I’ve known for a long
time who now lives in the UK called me. He had spoken to me earlier to help him
get a police report from police office in Ikoyi Lagos. Ifeanyi cautioned me to
be careful with “UK guys”, I told him I can trust this guy. So he called again
today requesting my detail for mail and money transfer regarding the errand. I
gave it to him, the package will arrive next week hopefully. Evidently there
was a meeting as I suspected. Ifeanyi left for the meeting and dropped me off
at ShopRite to grab a meal.
I had no dime on me except N10. Armed with my MasterCard
card, I felt like Mr. Money. The check-out point proved me wrong. What?! My
card isn't working?!! I went to the nearest atm machine, the same thing. I’ve
always thought this might happen one day, alas that day is upon me. What a
hassle! Luckily my bank was close to The Palms Mall. Even luckier it's still
banking hours. And being the luckiest, the bank was virtual empty, a very rare
occurrence. I made the withdrawal quickly and went back. The cashier was kind
enough to keep my item waiting for me. I paid and left.
What is wrong with my right foot today? I’m not a
superstitious fellow but honestly it’s beginning to freak me out! I have been
hitting the foot everywhere. My left foot attempted it once. Where did this
communication and coordination breakdown originate between my right foot, motor
neurons and my brain? Even when the road appears to be relatively flat my right
foot will find something to hit! Has the remote control for my right foot
fallen into the wrong hands? Imagine someone else controlling just one part of
your body like a puppet, that’s creepy.
I ate, didn't quite enjoy the pork meat. I tried working
on the presentation, it’s just not flowing. I’m outta here, I’m going home. I
was stepping into our compound as Ibe was leaving. I hailed the guy he was
leaving with but we were dumb towards each other. I got inside not hoping to
eat anything. I didn't leave any money for food. Matter fact I've not been
given money specifically for food but I do buy food stuff and canned food from
time to time. I have really big issues right now. Mimi asked if I will eat
garri, please by all means I will eat garri. She dished it and asked if she
should add more, please by all means add more. It was a really nice soup with
heavy traffic in it.
When I say there's traffic in a soup it means the soup is
really rich with fish - all kinds, meat - all kinds, etc. This one had one big
fish and one big beef. I couldn't finish the garri, I thought I could. I don't
really eat too much garri at a seating. I eat more rice at one seating than
garri. God I was grateful. I thanked her from the bottom of my heart like I
always do. Even when she cooks something I don't like cuz I can be finicky with
food, I still thank her for her effort. I cook so I know how stressful cooking
can be most times especially in this generation of continuous everyday hustle.
My stomach is feeling the after-effect of my gourmandism.
One thing I have always been very genuinely and deeply
grateful to this couple for is food. The stress of cooking has been lifted off
my shoulder. They combined, can whip up something when you least expect it,
especially when I lack the means. Now my belly is full, my eyes are heavy,
there's only one right thing to do, sleep. Ibe came back in after I have
finished eating and was at the sleep station waiting for my train to slumber
island. I can’t tell what happened next cuz I zzzzz….
Suddenly I was hysterically coughing and gasping for air.
Instinctively in that fight or flight moment my body switched into action on
its own and I sprang to my feet then rushed to the door. I could've sworn I was
half asleep the whole time. My body overrode all instructions for it to sleep
and fled to safety. What happened? What will I not go through in the hands of Ibe?
It was the insecticide fume suffocating me that caused my
system to initiate the Save-the-king protocol. What sort of human being am I
sheltering for Christ's sake? Is he that retarded or plain wicked? How can a
creature that claims to be human spray such a high volume of insecticide fume
in the room where someone was sleeping and didn't bother to wake the person
first!! Was he planning to kill me with that? Well my God has foiled that plan.
Seriously it’s from one ridiculously stupid thing to another. Even Amara didn't
wake me.
When I stumbled outside Amara who was already there out
of harm's way was just echoing sorry to me repeatedly. These insecticides fume
cause me nasty headaches. Mosquito coil equally does same. I use these harmful
chemicals sparingly because of hazardous effect on my health. If I had asthma,
it would’ve been very catastrophic. Why won’t this guy use his head for once?
I can understand a small squeeze of the aerosol that is
easily dispersed by the room ventilation. I just couldn't believe what
happened. And you would think common sense is common. I stayed outside the
longest waiting for the room to air out. Only God knows how much I inhaled
before I woke up. When I got back in I told him to inform me first next time
before he sprays. He didn't say anything. This guy is seriously forcing my
hand. Why do I still put up with this barbaric behaviour?
His mind works in warped fashion. He can vehemently
conclude that a simple act of placing a pencil on the table is connected to nuclear
missiles of 1947 cold war and link it further to a future colder war. Is it
paranoia delusion, complex, psycho or what? The worst part is how strongly he
will believe he is right based on his highly nonsensical delusional
postulation.
The night was young but I didn't know that. I just saw
myself peeing, then it hit me. It was a dream. I sprang up. Did I just trickle
pee on the bed? The first time I had this experience as a full adult, I had terrible
malaria. Now what could be wrong? This is not funny. As I stood up and groped
my way to the toilet I almost collapsed. Suddenly I felt a crippling dizziness.
I was losing consciousness. I struggled to keep my eyes open, tried to keep my
mind busy. What is going on? Could this be effect of large amount of
insecticide fume I inhaled earlier? I fought my way out of the toilet staggering
towards the wardrobe, I need to change my boxers. It was a very difficult task.
I thought of people dying in movies and how they say
their consciousness desert them slowly or quickly leaving empty shell of their
body. It can’t be what is happening to me now, is it? I managed to change and
took a small polo shirt to dry the trickle on the bed.
While I was desperately fighting for my life my roomies
were snoring or pretended to be. I believe until proven wrong that the
insecticide fume I inhaled earlier was responsible for this attack on my
consciousness.
Now I was even more afraid to close my eyes to sleep.
Scared I may not open it again. I tried to keep my mind busy with any train of
thought, no train came along. I prayed and prayed. I drifted in and out of the
prayer. I’m sure I fell asleep in the middle of my prayer.
