Which Is More Important, The Marriage Proposal Or The Marriage Proper?

Every woman wants to have a dream marriage proposal and wedding. This dream proposal doesn't necessarily mean it'll be grand but let it be as the woman envisioned it. They talk about this often. How often do you ever hear women talk about having a dream marriage? Just be honest with your answer whether you are a man or woman. That brings me to the question; “Which is more important, the marriage proposal or the marriage proper?” The proposal to me is the destination of few weeks, months or years dating/courtship journey while marriage is a lifelong journey. But with the invention of the device called divorce, marriage can last a few hours.

“Which is more important, the marriage proposal or the marriage proper?”

I have often wondered which is more important. The question can be likened to a similar question like “which is more important the journey or the destination?” This is a million dollar question which we will try to answer. Is there even an objective way to answer this question? Opinions differ for sure. A few women I discussed this with all said marriage proposal is important and needs to be a very romantic and memorable. I quite agree with them. BUT none of them was able to categorically say, yes marriage proposal is more important than marriage itself and vice versa. Is it me or is it just the way God wired women?

I can categorically tell you anytime any day that marriage is more important than marriage proposal. Maybe that’s how me or men are wired. Marriage is a long term journey and the proposal is a few minutes event. I don't know about you, as for me;

"I Rather Have A Shitty Marriage Proposal And Have A Blissful Marriage Than A Blissful Marriage Proposal And Shitty Marriage" - Scopium NwabuKing

Some People Take The Proposal More Seriously Than The Wedding Vows

It is so wrong to do so. With divorce rate soon to overtake rate of marriage, one wonders what really pushed the couples to get married. That entire perfect dream proposal lasted only a few years of wedding anniversaries, are you kidding me?

What is the essence of a dream marriage proposal if the marriage is only going to last a few weeks? Then the woman may as well just pick out a ring while the man watches a football match. Yeah I know you'll say nobody goes into a marriage hoping for it to fall apart few years down the line. It falls apart because priorities are misplaced. The less important event is treated as the most important. And the most important journey is relegated to the background.

I'm not saying that marriage proposals aren’t essential. Like I said before They are important. They can serve as a great jumping off point for the sometimes grueling process of planning a wedding. Honestly, creative proposals are the best. The kind when the guy proposes in a way that is romantically meaningful and unique to the couple.

Does It Really Matter How A Man Proposes To A Woman?

Are there women who would turn down marriage or be genuinely upset if he didn’t propose the “right” way? If so what is the "right" way? Are there women who would say yes to a boyfriend she didn’t necessarily want to marry simply because he asked in a stunning fashion? I wonder what single women including you reading this have in mind as their “dream proposal” and what happens if the reality is nothing like they dreamt?

If you have dated this person for some time and you still don’t know each other very well as to make a bad proposal, what else do you know well about your future spouse? What else can your future spouse do well?

According to a marriage proposal study;

One in four brides hated the way their future husband proposed. Twenty-six per cent of brides-to-be said that they wished the moment had been more romantic, original or personal. Others would have preferred it to be more private or complained that it was too over-the-top special, and a third said that the biggest faux pas was proposing without a ring.

I totally agree with the women on proposing without a ring, how dumb is that? How can you not propose with the engagement ring?

Listed Below Is A Few DON’TS About Marriage Proposal

Don’t Propose Empty-Handed

Don't Propose Too Early in the Relationship

Don't Make it Public Or In Front of an Audience

Don't Hide the Engagement Ring in Food

Don't Propose at a Sports Game

Don't Do it in Front of Her Family

Don't Make it Too Complicated

Don't Expect Her to Say Yes Immediately

Don’t Do It At The Wrong Moment

Most Nigerian single women want their single Nigerian men to shower western version of love on them especially when it comes to marriage proposal but they still retain core African attitude towards some of western romantic gestures. For instance an average Nigerian woman will never value being bought flowers fresh or plastic. Their spoken or unspoken sentiment is; ''na flower I go chop?'' meaning 'Is it flower that I will eat?' Or something like; ''Do I look like a goat wey dey eat grass to you?''

A simple, romantic but not over-the-top proposal is necessary, please always remember it is not the end itself. It's a means to achieving an end. There are a few tips to bear in mind for the great marriage proposal.

Listed Below Is A Few DOS Of Marriage Proposal

Do Find The Right Engagement Ring

Do Test the Waters

Do Make it a Surprise

Do Be Prepared

Do Pick A Memorable/Personal Spot

Do Be Creative

Do Drop to One Knee

Do Tell Her Why You Want to Marry Her

I have seen a lot proposal failures and I think to myself does it really worth it? Dude please save yourself the misery and just keep it simply simple

It is very possible to have both a shitty marriage proposal and a shitty marriage or have both a blissful marriage proposal and a blissful marriage. No problem if you end with the latter. If you can have best of both worlds that is awesome. That's my desire for everyone. But if you must have one at cost of the other, please it has to be the long term journey which is The Marriage and not the short term destination which is The Marriage Proposal. It is important you don't let your marriage last as long as your grand spectacular dream marriage proposal. 

That's my opinion on this, I would love to hear yours and learn from you. Let me know what you think via the comment box.

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NTSB Blames An Intern Over Fake Racially Offensive Names Of Asiana Pilot Names

The recent Asiana Airline flight 214 crash brought its tragedy and now its controversy is all over the news. There has been a media uproar over the fake racially offensive names of the Asiana pilots of the crashed plane as given by a news intern whose identity was not revealed. Some names came to a news channel and they confirmed it with NTSB, the agency in charge of investigating and ensuring transport safety. The names the KTVU station go were as Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.

An anchor who works for the Fox affiliate KTVU announced the names on Friday, out loud and on-air.

There is something odd about how the Asiana pilot names sound. Myne wrote if you compare them to close English homonyns as follows;

SUM TING WONG  - SOMETHING WRONG
WI TU LO                 - WE TOO LOW
HO LEE FUK            - HOLY FUCK
BANG DING OW     - BIG BANG OUCH

NTSB in a press statement blames an intern over the fake racially offensive names of Asiana pilot names.

The National Transportation Safety Board apologizes for inaccurate and offensive names that were mistakenly confirmed as those of the pilots of Asiana flight 214, which crashed at San Francisco International Airport on July 6. 

Earlier today, in response to an inquiry from a media outlet, a summer intern acted outside the scope of his authority when he erroneously confirmed the names of the flight crew on the aircraft. 

The NTSB does not release or confirm the names of crew-members or people involved in transportation accidents to the media. We work hard to ensure that only appropriate factual information regarding an investigation is released and deeply regret today's incident.

This is no intern mistake, the racist suggestive names were deliberately created if you ask me. This smells badly of racism from the intern. If the intern was trying to be funny, thats a nasty poor taste of making a comedy out of a tragedy. That's my take on it. What is your take?

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Self Prophecy - RCCG Open Heavens Devotion Sunday 14th July, 2013

SELF PROPHECY BY PASTOR E. A. ADEBOYE

Memorise:

Beat your plowshares into swords, and your pruninghooks into spears: let the weak say, I am strong. Joel 3:10

Read:

Mark 5:25-34

Open Heavens Message
What you say about yourself and about your situation in the midst of a crisis is of keen interest to both God and the devil. When the Israelites kept speaking of dying in the wilderness when confronted with little challenges, it got to a time that God gave them what they had been confessing – death (Numbers 14:26-39). On the other hand, the Shunammite woman kept confessing that ‘All will be well’ and later that ‘All is well’ and her dead child came back to life.

What are your confessions? Stop complaining, murmuring and grumbling as these will never help you. Rather, confess what you want about the situation. Mark 11:23-24 says if you command the mountain to relocate and you doubt not, it will be so and you will have what you say. When people are saying trouble is coming, reply them by saying ‘All will be well’. It does not matter what anybody may say: what matters is what God hears from you, which will determine your future. What are you saying in God’s ears?

Some people take note of what other people – particularly experts are saying about health, economy, etc. but they hardly ever say something good to themselves. The statement – ‘All will be well’ from the Shunammite woman was only a self prophecy and God honoured it. She did not wait for Elijah before speaking prophetically into her life. Why don’t you learn to prophesy into your life? When I wake up in the morning, I go before my mirror and begin to prophesy to myself: ‘it is going to be well with me’, ‘I will find favour from God and men’, etc.

When things took a negative turn in the situation of the woman with the issue of blood and there seemed to be no way out, she resorted to self prophesy. She said, “if I can touch the helm of Jesus’ clothes, I shall receive my healing”. She touched and she was whole. Some people see self prophesy as self deception. They will query it by saying: How do I say all is well when all is not well? Joel 3:10 says that is how to engage words: confess strength in time of weakness, health in time of sickness, wealth in time of poverty, freedom in time of bondage, etc. Use your words to beautify your life by confessing what you desire. The Lord will honour your confession.

Key Point
Your confessions affect your receipts. Some people are receiving bad things today and they wonder why. They have forgotten that in some recent or distant past, they used their mouths to call such things to themselves.

Bible In One Year:

Jeremiah 13-16

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Time-Bound Assignments - RCCG Open Heavens Devotion Saturday 13th July, 2013

TIME-BOUND ASSIGNMENTS BY PASTOR E. A. ADEBOYE

Memorise:
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastics

Read:

Esther 4: 13-14

Before a decree to kill all male children born to Israelites was passed in Egypt, God had ensured that two God-fearing midwives had been planted in their midst. They were at the right place at the right time for the right reasons. The lord had known what the devil was about to do, so He had gone a step ahead.
Beloved, that place God led you to is not by accident but for a purpose. Another person that was planted to avert the evil plan of the enemy against God's people was Esther.

Just before the execution of the plot of the enemy against the Israelites, Esther rose to the occasion and it was averted. In that negative situation, God has moved a step ahead of the enemy. Before your enemies carry out their evil plot against you, the lord would have executed His plan of deliverance for you. In the name of Jesus, you shall not be a victim in the teeth of your enemies.

For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith he Lord,  thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.'

The purpose of God for the midwives was a good one. He had planned that they would be His instruments of deliverance in the midst of midwives who were loyal to Pharaoh so that Moses would be saved at the time of birth. Their assignment started and ended making sure that Moses was safely and handed over to his mother. For being faithful, God rewarded them for that assignment. This tells us that that certain assignment may be very brief but time-bound. If Shiphrah and Puah were not on duty at the time Moses was born, or if they been distracted by other business affairs outside the hospital, Moses could have died.

God may want you to perform a specific but time-bound assignment: it could be to a blessing of a needy fellow or His servant. A need could suddenly arise that you would be required to meet, if you are too slow, you will loose the opportunity. Do you know that some of such opportunities may never come again? Be proactive and sensitive to the Holy Ghost. Be ready to speedily take up opportunities that God brings your way. Pray that you will be in the right place at the right time, to glorify God.

Prayer Point:
Each time you leave where God has placed you, or fail to do what you were supposed to do, the kingdom of God suffers. Father thank you for adding another year to Pastor (Mrs) Folu Adeboye. Lord, begin a new thing in her life and make her mother of more nations.

Bible In One Year:

Jeremiah 9-12

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Recalling Better Days Has Its Mental Health Benefits - Research

Remembering the good old days has its benefits after all. I have a very deep sense of nostalgia. I often think its abnormal. Little did I know that recalling better days and its accompanying nostalgia has its mental health benefits. I wonder what better days memory you are recall as you read this article.

Nostalgia used to be thought of as a negative emotion, but new science is finding that fond recollections of the past can make your life better--and even make you a better person.

Thinking about the good old days can serve as an emotional pick-me-up when times are tough. It’s a pretty basic concept, but oddly, living in the past, or experiencing nostalgia, has been thought of as a disorder since the 17th century, according to an article by New York Times, "ever since the term was coined by a 17th-century Swiss physician who attributed soldiers’ mental and physical maladies to their longing to return home--nostos in Greek, and the accompanying pain, algos."

In the past decade, though, scientists have applied a more rigorous research method to understand the ups and downs of nostalgia, and have determined that there’s quite a few positive effects of nostalgic thinking--including feeling warmer on a chilly day when thinking about toastier days of yore.

Research Findings On Nostalgia

Research, led by Constantine Sedikides of The University of Southampton in the U.K., has shown that nostalgia can "counteract loneliness, boredom and anxiety. It makes people more generous to strangers and more tolerant of outsiders," reports the Times. "Couples feel closer and look happier when they’re sharing nostalgic memories." Researchers acknowledge that:

Nostalgia does have its painful side — it’s a bittersweet emotion — but the net effect is to make life seem more meaningful and death less frightening. When people speak wistfully of the past, they typically become more optimistic and inspired about the future.

They’ve arrived at an understanding of the positive effects of nostalgia by examining the ways that people react to sad news, like a report about a deadly disaster. Those people often became "became more likely to wax nostalgic. And the strategy worked: They subsequently felt less depressed and less lonely."

But it can be more existential than that as well. According to psychologist Clay Routledge, nostalgia "brings to mind cherished experiences that assure us we are valued people who have meaningful lives. Some of our research shows that people who regularly engage in nostalgia are better at coping with concerns about death."

So what does this all mean practically? The first is that nostalgia’s done best when it’s less about comparing the past with the present with the conclusion that the past is better. In Routledge’s words, "'[I]f they focus on the past in an existential way--‘What has my life meant?’--then they can potentially benefit.'"

Sedikides suggests using nostalgia almost like a therapy: “If you’re not neurotic or avoidant, I think you’ll benefit by nostalgizing two or maybe three times a week […] Experience it as a prized possession."

Fastcoexist

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Quote of the Day: Don't Let Momentary Lust...

Don't Let Momentary Lust/Distraction Write You A Cheque That Will Render Your Destiny Bankrupt

- Scopium Nwabuking

Momentary Lust does not only suggest pleasures of making love. It generally means any momentary thing you can do without but you let yourself involved and it gets out of control to the detriment of your future. Self control is the keyword. Always see the big picture to avoid rendering your destiny bankrupt.

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Securing Future Greatness - RCCG Open Heavens Devotion Friday 12th July, 2013

SECURING FUTURE GREATNESS BY PASTOR E. A. ADEBAYO

Memorise:
And the man increased exceedingly, and had much cattle, and maidservants, and menservants, and camels, and asses. Genesis 30:43

Read:
Genesis 12:1-3

Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, unto a land that I will shew thee: Genesis 12:1 And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing: Genesis 12:2 And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed. Genesis 12:3 Bible in one year: Jeremiah 6-8 Message In everyone’s life, there are three stages – the past, the present and the future.

Before looking at the future, it is only wise to consider the past and the present. Why? In most cases, the past is what brought forth the present; and a combination of the past and the present will deliver the future. Behind every success recorded today and tomorrow, there is a solid covenant somewhere in the past. Take for instance the life of Jacob: He had a past, a present and a future. His past was rooted in the covenant God made with Abraham, when He promised to bless him and to make him a blessing (Genesis 12:1-3). His present was in his limited state as Jacob – supplanter, trying to make it by his own strength and effort, while his next level was as Israel – a prince of God, where he would become God’s favourite, and partake of the covenant blessings father Abraham had with God.

The covenant you make with God today will not only affect your tomorrow, but also the destinies of unborn generations. God is a covenant keeping God and He looks for those who can pay the price of cutting an enduring covenant with Him. At the beginning of The Redeemed Christian Church of God, God had a covenant with our father – the founder. God asked him to do certain things and the He will begin a church through him which will go all over the world, and a church He will meet on His return to the earth. The old man kept his own side and God is still keeping His.

This covenant keeping God made Abraham great and then moved into the Isaac generation which is the now (Genesis 24:34-35). The future is the level of Jacob – who God made exceedingly great. From today, prophesy to yourself daily by saying: in the name of Jesus, I am going to be exceedingly great. That is my next level, and nothing can stop me because my father is a covenant keeper. Are you operating on a covenant with God?


Key Point:
A covenant is the foundation of relationship and blessing. Those under a divine covenant are not easily moved.

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