Can you see that? I see boobs on display. lol

Can you please trace Jay Lenon's eyes. Where is focused on? That's what I thought. We can't blame the guy, its such a vista view of voluminosity on display. lol

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Dear Diary: Monday 25-02-2013

Woke up feeling much better. The night rest was more than therapeutic for my headache. I did my morning ritual. This couple in my house are disturbing the peace and quiet of the trying to decide what the wife will wear that morning. She is on another imbecilic mad rush this morning. Every time she has any engagement its always the same foolish approach. If the appointment is by 10:00am, she will waste all the time in the morning gisting specifically gossiping (they are very good at that), watching tv, a miniscule fraction is spent on chores in the kitchen and when its 9:30am she will start hurrying up. What kinda stupid lifestyle is that? It’s always the same every goddamn time.

One day I got so pissed by her annoying commotion and I told her to wake up on time get prepared for your engagement and stop leading this irresponsible life. Did it make any change? Hell no! She will always be late. Her's is a hopeless case. If Im the person she keeps delaying like this all the time, I would've stopped waiting for her lateness ass a loooong time ago. I dont say shit again. And will never say shit again. Let the dead bury the dead. Period! Her chronic lateness drama dint end until she asked me for some transport to wherever-the-hell she was going to. I dressed up calmly and left for work.

Generally, I dint do much in the office today. I still had the Lion of Africa PowerPoint presentation to work on. My illegal immigrant cough and catarrh still resides in the state called my body. The catarrh has seriously gone down the cough is still there. Maybe the cough is cuz I skip the medication sometimes. I dont know about the efficacy of the syrup but I find the taste so damaging. I went to The Game to pick up a few things.

As we were preparing to leave the office for the day, my boss gave a check for my salary with a ⅓ increment. My eyes glowed at the sight of it.  I can use the extra. Earlier in the day he asked if I eat well I said I dont. I told him Im losing weight no thanks to the Saturday 10-15km run. I told him Im going to stop the weekly run cuz my goal and theirs are at polar ends. They want to lose weight, I want to gain. They want to eat less, I want to eat more. They are already eating well, and Im not. You see I have no business being in the camp. I only want to be fit so 5km weekly can do that for me. He said he will take care of my lunch every month. He assumed an average figure and did the maths, I guess thats the reason behind the bump in my paycheck. Its all good. I just started paying my tithe, it will go up like wise. We went home

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Dear Diary: Sunday 24-02-2013

I woke up with a start, feeling good. Read my devotional and prayed. I have feelings of immense and overwhelming success, peace and bliss. I went to Victory Inheritance Ministry, Ceaser's church. There was one wonderful testimony I heard that really moved me. The testimony in summary was how an ordinary commission staff whose boss is very difficult and has spent the last six months whining, complaining and trying to quit a job which she has done since 2010, now got rewarded with manager training course in USA. The embassy gave her instant 2 year multiple visas with working permit. Someone put her name and she got chosen. She wasn’t qualified in any way. She wasn’t a full staff nor a manager. That’s the power of God's awesomeness. After service they held eagle's (they call the youths eagles) meeting.

We went to Tony's place at Isolo. They reception was grand. His mum prepared wonderful delicious meals for us. She wasnt around when we went there. Some of the dishes were already laid out nicely on the table. We helped ourselves to some nice food. I have not eaten like that in a long time. I thanked him from the depths of my heart for his hospitality. We all did. His mum came in much later, she had to rest so we didn’t spent time with her. We left Tony's house around 4:30pm. We dropped him at Dolphin Estate and headed home. Soon as we got home we changed immediately into our sports gear and went to Ikota school to play football. It was late we dint have much time to play but we did anyway. To my surprise I got tired very quickly though I played till the end. I sweated so much. What could be the cause? Ceaser usually rides his bicycle to the field while I drive. The car refused to start at first, it later started at its convenient time.

By the time we got home Ceaser was home as usual and Doctor was in the house definitely because of Aver. This guy is married with four kids but still pursues girls heavily. I find it very disgusting when men cheat on their wife with multiple partners. I can endure cheating with one person. Though the bottom-line, cheat is cheat. None is a lesser crime. I can’t imagine myself doing that when I get married. I wasn’t really feeling myself. This drummer called headache was pounding the left side of my head with 20 ton sledge hammer. I just disinvolved myself from all the raunchy chats and plays. Aver came so alive and overcharged with all the raunchiness going on. I just tuned them all out like a station with nuisance program. Few minutes later after I had a cup of wine, I begged for my leave and went home. I showered and zzzzzz instantly.

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Ridiculous Amounts Some Celebrities Insured Their Body Parts

Rihanna ($1 Million) Legs. I think you should insure your relationship with Chris Brown lol.

Keith Richards ($1.2 Million) Middle finger. Only God knows why this one insured middle finger.

Jennifer Lopez’s $27million (£18.1m) Buttocks. Thats some piece of meat.

Julia Roberts ($30 million) Smile. The smile is awesome if you ask me.

Michael Flatley  $40million (£26.9m) feet (Lord of the Dance)

 

David Beckham’s $70million (£47m) Legs. This makes sense. Those legs are his main asset.

Mariah Carey $1billion (£670m) Legs (Gillette's Legs of a Goddess). Thats a whooping sum! Howcome you didnt insure your amazing high pitched voice?

TheChronicled will insure our blog for sum amount to large to fit on this page

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Dear Diary: Saturday 23-02-2013

Woke up late. Read my devotional and prayed the lord's prayer. I got alot of shit to do today. I gotta wash, clean up etc. Oh boy Im feeling lazy about it. 'No escaping dude' Thats my mind taunting my body. Finally got the strength to do it. Dont ask me where I got it from. Maybe from a kyubi. I always feel like a load is lifted off my shoulder anytime I get all my clothes clean. Time check, a little before two o'clock. I ate beans with fried coarse cassava grains mixed with sugar then saturated in water. In simple english I drink garri with the beans.

Left the house to see Gabriel. I missed them by a few minutes. Gabriel and Aver went to the church for rehearsal against tomorrow's church service while Blessing was at the shop. I went to Doctor's shop instead. The weather was unapologetically scorching hot. At least my clothes won’t have any excuse not to dry fast. There was power outage as usual but Doc has a way of tapping into his neighbour's electricity when this particular neighbour turns on his generator. So Im in luck cuz I cant imagine how hot his shop will be with the intensity of the sun. I went into the inner partition plugged my phone to charged, stationed the fan directly on me and then dozed off. I have no idea how long I slept.

Few minutes after my ship sailed in from slumberland Gabriel a.k.a. Ceaser came from the church. We went to the his house played couple rounds of game of drought or should I call it checkers. I never drew once let alone win. Im not surprised. Im not good at the game. But if it were chess, the outcome would've been very different in my favour. Later in the evening we went for a leadership program he invited me to at Ikoyi. Ceaser and Tony sat at one section while me and Aver sat at an obscure section. Not like we planned it, that was where ushers ushered us to. A few speakers spoke.

Light refreshments went round. Refreshments like cocktail, juice, and finger foods. Bad luck, for us the finger food dint get to us. Just as they were serving our section of the hall Ceaser sent a whatsapp message to Aver that we should go. Aver had already complained of being bored and sleepy. I was kinda not feeling the whole event because of poor audio from the mic or speaker. The temperature in the small hall was very unfriendly. It was the chilled cocktail that served as a coolant to my system otherwise I would've been baked. We left afterwards.

Another guy Sunkami joined us to Falomo bridge Ikoyi where we dropped him and Tony. The guy needed a little change like N200 for transport fare from Ceaser and four of us (Ceaser, Aver, Tony and me) almost disappointed him, can you imagine that. Ok Aver provided the money for tollgate and just has N100 left. Tony just had enough to get him home. I had N1000 note and N90 but no change. Ceaser said he dint have money. Im guessing he dint have spare N200 and dint want to give above that. Finally we gave Aver's N100 and my N90 problem solved.

We got home. I stayed at Ceaser's place for a while. He beat me some more at the game.I got home and just slept off.

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Dear Diary: Friday 22-02-2013

Woke up around three o'clock and the dull nagging headache woke up with me as well. How long does this headache want to remain an illegal tenant in my head?  Im trying to think out a plan for today's activity. Left for work eventually, due to less traffic and fairly fast transportation I got to work before 9:00am. I did a couple minor office tasks. Then my boss asked me to prepare a presentation on insurance company with a template of 2007 AIICO insurance presentation. That means a lot of economic figures must've changed so I gotta research online or elsewhere to get them. I really did some work on that. You need to see the email my boss sent me to really really motivate/ginger/pump me up for the task. Here's the email below...

Nwab please update to today’s numbers.  Perhaps Ifeanyi can help you source current data on the insurance sector, particularly Lion of Africa which is different from Royal Exchange but both owned by the Odogwu's.  But this assignment is your baby.

Start work immediately.  You will get a piece of the action on this for delivery quality work.  You will use the money earned to pay your school fees, get a new place, get a car and get married.  Please do a good job of the graphics

I got a call from my coursemate Chika back in university. She was in the neighbourhood and was saying hello. She is a nice girl. Sometimes I wonder what if I marry her. Never mind I said that. Dont tell her lol. Oh well I don’t know her real real close. She came to submit her resume at one company. I went out to see her and we had a nice conversation as always. Her hustle muscle really inspired me. I felt like I've not really taken my employment situation really serious. May God bless our hustle in Jesus name, AMEN!! After that I went to the bank make some payment and back to the office. It was already evening. How time flies.

I went home afterwards.

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Dear Diary: Thursday 21-02-2013

Woke up. Read my devotional book. Prayed to my almighty God. I went to work late. The persistent cough and catarrh puts me through a slow start in the morning. My brother Ugo called me earlier and was like when you come to the office you will go to a proper hospital. By the I got to the office he was like you sound better. So the idea of going to a hospital went extinct like dinosaurs. We carried on with the day's work. 

Later he and Chris talked about Chris' financial situation. He advised him to be 'creative' in coming up ideas to get short finances to sustain him till his deals go through. Chris is into security consulting. He relocated from the States to Nigeria. His car he's shipping in from US will hit ports on 28th of this month and there's no money to clear it yet. Ugo then used the opportunity to talk to me about my UNILAG issue. I told him Im banking on a waiver besides that I dont know where the money will come. He said ''you will bear the pain for your mistake'' I understand that. Sometimes it seems like the pain is greater than the mistake. Not like it was a deliberate act. Yes I blame myself for the mistake. Don't blame me also for the poor educational system in Nigeria. You all went abroad to study, you dont know what its like in a typical Nigerian university of nowadays. He said I should plead, beg, roll on the floor, cry that I dont have money so they can waive the course like they used to do. If that dint work I should arrange an instalmental payment plan with them in which I pay half my salary until the extra fees is paid off.

Of course there is provision for instalmental payments but its more stringent. I can barely survive with full salary now let alone when I have to slash it in half. My rent is around the corner and its more than double of the fees. Mehn it sucks to be me right now. No! Its bucks to be me right now. I gotta get a solution to this somehow. I always do. God always gives me a way out, I just havent seen it yet

I drank too much hot water cuz of the cold. I even bought another drug called Flucoday which I'm taking every four hours. My friend Hitman sent another request text message. This time he needs transport fare to Ogun State for NIMS interview or was it aptitude test, I cant even remember anymore. The timing couldn't have been more wrong and annoying. Dude Im in need of money too!

I branched at Doctor's place on my way home. Let me tell you a little about this doctor. He is a special kinda doctor. He dint go to school to learn his profession. He laid so many innocent lives to rest during the course of his self-trained process. Unlike other doctors he doesnt save human or animal lives rather he saves the life of phones. He is doctor of phones. He fixes phones and some other electronics. That's his initial business but now he sells almost anything. His shop is next to Blessing's shop. Blessing is Ceaser's girlfriend or fiancee. Doctor's shop is my usual port of call when coming home from work either for business or pleasure. He is married with four kids but you can barely tell. I went to collect the phone I paid him to change the case the previous day. Luckily he came through. The phone really looks brand new!

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