MTN Bad Network Friday May 03 2013

Thank God It’s Friday. Thank God I’m Favoured! God woke me up nicely after a very good night rest. I did my ritual and lazed on the bed for a while. I’m not particularly feeling work today but choice staying home, I do not have. I went to work late today. My boss was already there. He didn't say anything. I’m getting lazy keeping this diary, I need strength to continue. Let not the laziness of those that surround me rub off on me in Jesus name AMEN!!

He is yet to pay my salary in full. Meanwhile he has paid the driver in full. I accompanied my boss to the bank and back to Shoprite. He paid me at Shoprite.

I went to MTN office to lodge my annoying network problem. I can’t make call or send text occasionally even when I have large chunk of airtime on my phone. I ended up spending a very large chunk of my time at their office. I wasn't happy at all. I came with mindset of if they don't impress me I’m porting to Etisalat. The guy I met admitted they are aware of the fault and they working on it, this response doesn't mean jack to me. He took my sim card and ran a few checks and told me the problem has been logged if it happens again I should let them know. In it English means ''Dude I/we don’t have any solution to your problem, let’s hope miraculously it won't happen again.'' At least it’s better than the blond bimbo head chic I met the last time I went and she clearly has no clue of figuring nor fixing the problem.

I went to Shoprite got my food. My boss called me later that I should give him some the salary he just paid me. He doesn't want to waste time on another bank withdrawal process. He needs it for the weekend and he will pay me back on Monday. I told him I had only N10000 left, he said he will take it. Meanwhile I still had all the money on me. I went Zenith to pay a debt I owed Charles Okechi my brother and friend. It was part of the money I borrowed to pay my school fees. I went back to the office. I gave him the N10000. He wanted enough money for his weekend, apparently I don’t need money for my own weekend, smh. 

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Work Resumes Thursday May 02 2013

Work resumes today, holiday is over. I woke up with a special air of satisfaction, air of pure peace of mind. I like this. I read my open heavens prepared for work and left. Ibe and his wife were still sleeping or seem to be when I left. Got to work early and as of 10:23am my boss and Ifeanyi are yet to arrive. What could be the cause? Is it hangover from fun of yesterday? I highly doubt that lol. Chris and Yahya are here with me working. They finally made it. Everybody felt so energized today. Could it be what happens after a day of golf?

I reflected on the only reason I still keep these people, PITY. The only thin thread of pity I have for them is being threatened. I’m well aware that if for some reason the accommodations I share with them no longer exist, they will find an alternative. Either by latching or “leaching” onto the next volunteer or victim but still I have that pity on them hoping they move into their own place. But Ibe’s recent detrimental behaviour is ferociously and corrosively corroding the letter Y in the pity I have for them until all that will be left is his self-designed unending pit to fall into. Let no one confuse pity for powerlessness. It’s not as if I don’t know how to forcefully kick them out but I still hope they leave like they came. They are really forcing my hand. Am I too kind, gentle/soft or stupid?

Who knows how this will end?

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Workers Free Day/PGA Golf Wednesday May 01 2013

Say hello to May 1^st workers free day. The day I have been waiting for. It’s the day I will shock the golf world with my latent talent. I will intimidate Tiger Woods off the green. Yes it’s going to happen today. I woke up on time. Yesterday I bought a brand new polo shirt for the game. It might interest you to know that I don’t know jack about golf besides the snippet of news that oozes from Tiger Woods’ successes and failures on or off the green. I haven’t played the game before. I have only managed to touch a club and ball before. But today Im gonna be Tiger Scopium lol

It’s been raining since last night. Dear RAIN why are you falling today of all days? Nevertheless, I prepared for the big game and lay wait for the good old rain to stop. I was supposed to rendezvous in Ugo’s residence in Lekki by 6:30am, I couldn’t go because of the rain. I called Ifeanyi asking him to pick me up from my bus stop instead. That’s actually cost effective for me. I waited for them. He was coming of Emeka his cousin. They arrived after about twenty minutes. The golf course is located somewhere called Lakowe Lakes in Lakowe community further down the Lekki-Epe expressway. I've never been to Lakowe before, I only heard the name just didn't know how it was spelt.

The resort is in a serene environment. I like the ambiance of the area, totally peaceful and in tune with Mother Nature. If not for anything, I would love to just soak in the air, chill on the green without a care or worry in the world. Let me give Lakowe Lakes a free ad here lol.

I’ve never been to this area before. It’s very far from Lekki. Lakowe Lakes is a nicely built area, secluded serene security conscious environment. I mean this place is in touch with nature. All of us came fully dressed like PGA players. We had breakfast, a buffet. One guy came with two chics that riled the men up. It added feminine flavour the occasion. A lot of people signed up for the 9 holes, majority of them don’t know jack about golf. We decided to do the driving range first to get familiar with the game before hitting the green. While we were having our breakfast, Ugo was like no matter what happens on the course no one should laugh at each other.

During the driving range, people literally rolled on the floor. It was so hilarious. Most of us were just digging a huge pit beside the golf ball with the clubs in a pathetic attempt to hit the freaking ball. Man the guys foaming Tiger Woods all turned to miniature wooden tigers that can’t do shit lol. A lot of pictures were taken and the diluted adult rated jokes flowed freely. We spent quite some time on the driving range before we played the nine holes proper. It was such an amazing experience for me, I’m certain the rest of the crew felt the same way. Team C which was my team was the third to play. Team C was made up of Yahya, Ifeanyi and I.

I saved the team a few times and screwed up same way lol. It was fantastic fun. Team B had Ugo Mezue and one other guy I can’t remember his name now. Ugo was in the habit unintentionally of taking the flag with him to the next hole as if the flag is a price he has won. We kept reminding him to keep the flag, it was indeed funny. At the end of the 9 holes game, Team B came first, Team C second, Team A third and Team D last.

We went back to the club house had a few drinks. Some people left for a tour around place on a cart, the cart wasn’t enough to take us all at once. The rest of us that missed the first group ended up not going again cuz the rain started doing its thing. Then it was time to leave. We all thanked Kobby for his excellent organization of the trip. We will reimburse him later as he covered our expenses upfront. I would love to do this often.

As a matter of fact I’m buying complete set of golf clubs, balls, and the whole shebang. I went back in Ifeanyi’s just the way I came. I stopped at Lekki roundabout to get something from the office. I spent quite some time with Doc after I left the office before going home in the evening. Amara prepared okra soup, we ate garri and soup again after a long break.

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Colleague Reunion Monday April 29 2013

I wanted to be early in office today so I woke up early. Read my open heaven and prayed. Showered and left for work. There was this nasty traffic that glued us to a spot. It was rather unusual this early in the morning, there must've some road infringement. Yep there was an accident. Slowly but sure we made it through the bottleneck.

The team that went to South Africa is back. I can’t say much about the business part of the trip but I’m damn sure that the pleasure part was so on point. Ugo bought food for everybody today. O boy no dulling here o. I ate double ration. But that was after everybody had eaten. Yahya did ajebo, he ate very little. He is the newest member of the Uhambo crew. He grew up in the north. Their family is famous for their cinema business in Nigeria. He left a few minutes after he ate....

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Why Do Some People Go To Church To Distrub?

Sunday April 28 2013
The night sleep was highly refreshing, I almost over did it. Having a full eight hours sleep has its mental health benefits. I woke up around ten minutes to seven. Man how sleepy I still feel. I need more sleep lol. I hurried lazily out of bed. As I was about to shower I felt a bit pressed to take a dump. What?! At this time?! For me taking a dump is like yoga. If you know the benefits of yoga, that is benefits of me taking a dump. I take my sweet time to do the service. I don’t have time for this now. Let’s keep it safety deposit box, more like fixed deposit account till I get back from church! I prepared for church. Long story short, I went late by a minute I believe.

We had the class. I enjoyed the Open Heavens as was taken by a fellow trainee worker though she has been long in that sorta service. After that service commenced as usual. Praise and worship took place.

As the choir was ministering through one lovely song, my neighbour came in accompanied with his girlfriend and settled beside me. I never expected what happened. This guy and his girlfriend were total nuisance in the church especially to me. They kept talking and talking like they were lounging by the bar. It was a non-stop session of talking, snickering, laughing and they didn't bother to keep their voice down. When we stand up to pray, they'll be sitting down completely devoted to their disturbance and nuisance in church.

I always ask myself why do people like this who cause nothing but nuisance in church bother to come to church anyway. What do they come to accomplish since they are not interested in the service? Is it to show there face and fashion? It is so annoying. They were agents of the devil period. They came just to distract people but it won’t work on me. Father forgive them for they know not what they do. I''m sure they do know this time. After service I went home. This guy has really made a horrible impression, his new reputation that of an unapologetic nuisance in church.

Bored. Hungry. Alone. I drank garri. Back in church I had this yearning urge to drink garri with salt that possessed me. I haven’t drank garri in ages but that was my expensive staple back in secondary school days. The benefits of having garri back then was immeasurable but students always abused drinking of garri. I drank the garri and felt so deeply satisfied. I simply obeyed my urge. I don't know how nourishing it was, my innards can explain that better. I holed myself indoors. I used that opportunity to wash my bathroom, left to Ibe, the place can look like a sewer and he will be perfectly comfortable with it. Not that I expect him to wash it, that’s like a pig to neaten up like a cat. His has his strength in some other department. 

One of my neighbours Egana called me, she is very cheerful always smiling good-looking girl. Her smile is contagious, too contagious for a single Nigerian man like me lol. She came to spend some time with me. I’m glad she came. Again thats a nice temptation for a single Nigerian man like me. I was pleasantly surprised too. We spent quite some time, talked at length, we learnt so much about each other. She left sometime in the evening. As she left I got on autopilot went to Igbo Efon to see Caesar. A few minutes after I arrived at his place, his babe served us a delicious healthy meal. You'll think I timed it but it was just my luck. UC a mutual friend of ours came over too.

We talked and talked, no actually Caesar talked and talked and....but not like the nuisance in church fellow. Mehn this guy never gets tired of talking. I admire him cuz he reads wide so he makes incredible sense when he talks but I don't always agree with everything he says. My eyes started going numb slightly. I had to leave. I went home and hit the sack head on. I don't know when Ibe came in the night.

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Presentation Of Open Heavens At Our Workers-in-training Class

Saturday April 27 2013
Today is the D-day I'm the class speaker to present the Open Heavens at our workers-in-training class. I got up prepared early. It will be bad if I get there late on a day like this. It is clear that the benefits of my increasing spirituality is visibly evident in my personal daily life. Finally the time came for me speak. I mounted the altar. This was my first time to speak or teach/preach from the altar, I let the class know that jokingly. At least history was made today. I was nervous, I also let the class know that. Then I took the class gracefully. Though I won’t give my performance perfect score based on how envisioned it, it didn’t quite go like that. I did well, I guess I set a high standard for myself. Next time I will surpass my expectation.

After the class we did a little sanitation activities against tomorrow's service. I came home a bit tired. I slept a little. Ibe cooked rice yesterday. Amara traveled so he is essentially a pure single Nigerian man now lol. I didn’t taste it yesterday. I ate some today. I rested up a bit then waged my long awaited war on the roaches. It was really intense. And it was very fruitful too. I have to do this every day for two straight weeks at least. A wall gecko was caught in the cross fire, that’s a bonus for me. Ibe came in just as I was about cleaning the menace of the roach carcass in the kitchen. After I was done cleaning, I went out.

I went to Igbo Efon to Doc's place. Caesar was there as well. So we hung out for a while. Austin came around and bought us beer. Well that’s nice of him. I didn't stay too long before heading back. I went home to prepare myself for church tomorrow. I ironed what I wanted to wear. I slept off while studying the topic against tomorrow's worker-in-training class.

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Tallest Cake In Africa Standing Tall: Proud To Be Nigerian

                                           

Nigerians are the most ambitious, hardworking, zealous, etc people I've ever seen. In the midst of our numerous handicaps we still excel. A Nigerian cake maker TOSAN JEMIDE has made history for making the tallest cake in Africa. Jemide unveiled the unique cake design at Silverbird galleria in Victoria Island Lagos State, Nigeria.

The cake enters the Guinness book of World Records at a gigantic height of 28-feet from the ground. That is an awesome height. We Nigerians. We are good people, great nation. We are proud of you for making the tallest cake in Africa.

Somebody hand me a slice of the tallest cake jor!

Can you beat that?!!

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