God’s Mercy And Grace Keeps Me Friday May 17 2013

My eyes opened, it was morning. For an instant I suffered amnesia about last night's ordeal. Then the floodgate to the reservoir that holds the memory of torment crumbled down. My eye almost popped out of their sockets as it popped wide open in full realization of what happened. The visual vividness and clarity of every detail was scary. It was like I was reliving the night. If not for God’s mercy and grace, I wouldn’t have seen today going by what I went through last night. I read my Open Heavens and prayed with a deep sense appreciation and gratitude.

My boss is coming back today but I don't know when. I thought he will come back in the evening. My phone rang later in the morning, speak of the devil. My boss said he's back in Lagos and he needs me to do something. Yeah he always needs me to do something. I hurriedly showered went to work. In the office I browsed a little and focused on the presentation. It was tedious and annoying, you have no idea. Truth be told it wasn't all a waste of time cuz I learnt something on PowerPoint. I own the office today.

No sign of Ugo, Ifeanyi isn't coming, he made that clear yesterday. Ugo came back a few minutes after three. Now judge this situation. The task was to pay N65000 into a phone dealer's account for a Samsung galaxy, meanwhile he owes me N10000 part of my salary. He didn't pay me but he paid another dude. I made it clear to him before he traveled that I need that money badly. I hate it when people behave like that. It’s just God’s mercy and grace that is keeping me. I went to GTBank and the crowd rivaled Lagos population. GTBank has a network problem putting its service on agonizing delay. Deposit wasn't a problem, thank God for that. I put the money in, went back to the office.

I played three game of spider solitaire and went home. I went straight to Onye Mama's place rejuvenate myself. Boy I ate it gluttonously, maybe I broke Guinness record for shortest time spent eating garri and egusi-oha soup lol. Thank God for the food for his mercy and grace upon my life.I went to the house. I noticed two items I washed wasn't on the line. I wonder what happened to them or who took them in for me. The clothes were taken in after all. I asked Amara who did it, she said it’s like it was Ibe. That sounded rather strange to me but still I said he did a nice job. It is not his MO. I suspect she is just trying to put in a good word for him.

In all honestly, when his demons are asleep, Ibe can display a good core. He thinks or cares about others, he's willing to share whatever he has, he can try to motivate you, etc. He is also a big fat jerk and the jerk part casts a very long foul shadow. I changed and went to Doc's place to while away time. When my whiling away time mission was accomplished I went home to bed.

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Insecticide Fume Suffocation Attack Thursday May 16 2013

Today wasn't like yesterday when I was under strong sleep spell but my effort to sleep well was frustrated by Ibe and co. I woke up at the usual time did my morning ritual and read the workers-in-training manual. Mehn this approaching exam is getting me nervous, why should I be? Maybe cuz I haven't prepared to my heart's content. Not that I can fail it, that is so impossible but I’m not satisfied with my preparations so far. I need to be in office by twelve noon so I still got some time before I leave. I went to the kitchen, drank water and took a moment to relish my cleaning handiwork of yesterday. Just look at how clean the wall and window sparkles. I wonder if my roomies noticed how clean it looks. Seriously I always wonder if they can actually tell the difference. Regarding tidiness, you might as well label them ataxomaniacs.

I got to the office around 12:12 noon. Ify was yet to come. He came in looking so corporate and all. That’s very unlike him, I bet there's a business meeting today. Victory my good friend I’ve known for a long time who now lives in the UK called me. He had spoken to me earlier to help him get a police report from police office in Ikoyi Lagos. Ifeanyi cautioned me to be careful with “UK guys”, I told him I can trust this guy. So he called again today requesting my detail for mail and money transfer regarding the errand. I gave it to him, the package will arrive next week hopefully. Evidently there was a meeting as I suspected. Ifeanyi left for the meeting and dropped me off at ShopRite to grab a meal.

I had no dime on me except N10. Armed with my MasterCard card, I felt like Mr. Money. The check-out point proved me wrong. What?! My card isn't working?!! I went to the nearest atm machine, the same thing. I’ve always thought this might happen one day, alas that day is upon me. What a hassle! Luckily my bank was close to The Palms Mall. Even luckier it's still banking hours. And being the luckiest, the bank was virtual empty, a very rare occurrence. I made the withdrawal quickly and went back. The cashier was kind enough to keep my item waiting for me. I paid and left.

What is wrong with my right foot today? I’m not a superstitious fellow but honestly it’s beginning to freak me out! I have been hitting the foot everywhere. My left foot attempted it once. Where did this communication and coordination breakdown originate between my right foot, motor neurons and my brain? Even when the road appears to be relatively flat my right foot will find something to hit! Has the remote control for my right foot fallen into the wrong hands? Imagine someone else controlling just one part of your body like a puppet, that’s creepy.

I ate, didn't quite enjoy the pork meat. I tried working on the presentation, it’s just not flowing. I’m outta here, I’m going home. I was stepping into our compound as Ibe was leaving. I hailed the guy he was leaving with but we were dumb towards each other. I got inside not hoping to eat anything. I didn't leave any money for food. Matter fact I've not been given money specifically for food but I do buy food stuff and canned food from time to time. I have really big issues right now. Mimi asked if I will eat garri, please by all means I will eat garri. She dished it and asked if she should add more, please by all means add more. It was a really nice soup with heavy traffic in it.

When I say there's traffic in a soup it means the soup is really rich with fish - all kinds, meat - all kinds, etc. This one had one big fish and one big beef. I couldn't finish the garri, I thought I could. I don't really eat too much garri at a seating. I eat more rice at one seating than garri. God I was grateful. I thanked her from the bottom of my heart like I always do. Even when she cooks something I don't like cuz I can be finicky with food, I still thank her for her effort. I cook so I know how stressful cooking can be most times especially in this generation of continuous everyday hustle. My stomach is feeling the after-effect of my gourmandism.

One thing I have always been very genuinely and deeply grateful to this couple for is food. The stress of cooking has been lifted off my shoulder. They combined, can whip up something when you least expect it, especially when I lack the means. Now my belly is full, my eyes are heavy, there's only one right thing to do, sleep. Ibe came back in after I have finished eating and was at the sleep station waiting for my train to slumber island. I can’t tell what happened next cuz I zzzzz….

Suddenly I was hysterically coughing and gasping for air. Instinctively in that fight or flight moment my body switched into action on its own and I sprang to my feet then rushed to the door. I could've sworn I was half asleep the whole time. My body overrode all instructions for it to sleep and fled to safety. What happened? What will I not go through in the hands of Ibe?

It was the insecticide fume suffocating me that caused my system to initiate the Save-the-king protocol. What sort of human being am I sheltering for Christ's sake? Is he that retarded or plain wicked? How can a creature that claims to be human spray such a high volume of insecticide fume in the room where someone was sleeping and didn't bother to wake the person first!! Was he planning to kill me with that? Well my God has foiled that plan. Seriously it’s from one ridiculously stupid thing to another. Even Amara didn't wake me.

When I stumbled outside Amara who was already there out of harm's way was just echoing sorry to me repeatedly. These insecticides fume cause me nasty headaches. Mosquito coil equally does same. I use these harmful chemicals sparingly because of hazardous effect on my health. If I had asthma, it would’ve been very catastrophic. Why won’t this guy use his head for once?

I can understand a small squeeze of the aerosol that is easily dispersed by the room ventilation. I just couldn't believe what happened. And you would think common sense is common. I stayed outside the longest waiting for the room to air out. Only God knows how much I inhaled before I woke up. When I got back in I told him to inform me first next time before he sprays. He didn't say anything. This guy is seriously forcing my hand. Why do I still put up with this barbaric behaviour?

His mind works in warped fashion. He can vehemently conclude that a simple act of placing a pencil on the table is connected to nuclear missiles of 1947 cold war and link it further to a future colder war. Is it paranoia delusion, complex, psycho or what? The worst part is how strongly he will believe he is right based on his highly nonsensical delusional postulation.

The night was young but I didn't know that. I just saw myself peeing, then it hit me. It was a dream. I sprang up. Did I just trickle pee on the bed? The first time I had this experience as a full adult, I had terrible malaria. Now what could be wrong? This is not funny. As I stood up and groped my way to the toilet I almost collapsed. Suddenly I felt a crippling dizziness. I was losing consciousness. I struggled to keep my eyes open, tried to keep my mind busy. What is going on? Could this be effect of large amount of insecticide fume I inhaled earlier? I fought my way out of the toilet staggering towards the wardrobe, I need to change my boxers. It was a very difficult task.

I thought of people dying in movies and how they say their consciousness desert them slowly or quickly leaving empty shell of their body. It can’t be what is happening to me now, is it? I managed to change and took a small polo shirt to dry the trickle on the bed.

While I was desperately fighting for my life my roomies were snoring or pretended to be. I believe until proven wrong that the insecticide fume I inhaled earlier was responsible for this attack on my consciousness.

Now I was even more afraid to close my eyes to sleep. Scared I may not open it again. I tried to keep my mind busy with any train of thought, no train came along. I prayed and prayed. I drifted in and out of the prayer. I’m sure I fell asleep in the middle of my prayer.

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My Beauty Sleep Cruelly Denied Me Wednesday May 15 2013

The morning is upon me but so was sleep. I stayed up late, I just can’t escape the punishment for staying up late can I? If only I had two more pair of eyes, there will be division of labour to make this work easier on the pair I already have. In as much as I have already donated my body to sleep giving it full authority to use, abuse and misuse my body as it pleases this morning, I couldn't sleep. What manner of mannerless of primates am I sheltering? One would think common sense is common but its not with this duo. Ibe and his wife were just walking up and down the bed where I lay rocking me back and forth. How can I sleep under this circumstance even if I a hospital of sleeping pills?

Since the room is always sandy no thanks especially to Ibe and his sandy sneakers he doesn’t care to clean properly. They go back and forth to the kitchen and bathroom more or less cleaning their feet on the bed. They are literally and cruelly using my bed as a foot mat. I've told them how unhygienic this was a long time ago but do they ever change? It was so annoying. You can actually get a frost bite in hell compared to how I seethed with vexation. At times like this I wonder what he learnt while growing up. I wonder hygiene habits they teach their children.

Wait let me ask you reading this, is it I'm being a nitpicker about this or is it normal for someone with brain to turn the bed to foot mat especially when you can effortlessly avoid it? I couldn't sleep even my eyes were so heavy with sleep. The book of curses has a new entry, it goes; ''May your children behave like Ibe'' I kept calm. I kept the molten magma boiling in my core from leaking to the surface. Is it the Lord's doing? I don't know. I just got up went over to the side stool in the corner hoping that sleep hasn't given up on me. If I were sleep, I would've given up on me eons ago.

When I got up and was literally tipping sands off the mattress Amara looked at me with a vague contrite expression as if she was momentarily forced into sackcloth then she looked away quickly. Is that a guilty conscience? Do they have conscience at all? They are like stark opposite of my ingrained desire for a clean and organised environment or earth. I won't be going to work today, more like I will work from home. I sat on that side stool which was now my bed. I didn't go into full sleep mode but I wasn't in full awake mode either. 

Time dragged by, time that I couldn't measure. My system finally loaded the wake up program. I browsed a bit on my phone. Ibe lay on the other mattress cooped over his phone. Moments later he dressed up and left. I lazed a bit trying to ease my frame of mind into the task ahead. I wanted to do a few DIY maintenance works. These people don't really give a rat's ass about the life of appliances when they use them. They use wares with careless and reckless abandon and its perfectly normal to them. First I relaid the carpet that flowed into the kitchen. I didn't do other section of the kitchen.

I washed the kitchen walls except one side. I also thoroughly cleaned the window, the dust on the window and mosquito net has gotten incredibly thick. I would say its now a face sore not just an eyesore. Of course if I leave it to them clean based on how frequent they use the kitchen, a dust storm will engulf the kitchen. As the wall sparkles my heart sparkled with gladness too, I just love a clean environment. I wished my situational roommates shared the same trait. I was exhausted after DIY task.

I sat on the bed to relax, my phone buzzed into life with a call from Ifeanyi that was when I realised I dozed off. Why won't I doze off after my beauty sleep was cruelly denied me this morning the Ibes. He was in the office. What made him change his mind? He wanted to send an important mail but the internet was sitting in my room. I dragged my fatigued 306 bones, flesh and blood package to the office. In one hour I was in the office. He did his thing and left. I stayed for a while before going home. I still haven’t finished the presentation, as a matter of fact I’m tired of the whole thing. It requires some key data and such information is not in the public domain. Why do I have to this tedious, somewhat unnecessary task? Why didn't Gavin at least send the word or PowerPoint version of the document?

Oh yeah I downloaded a part b of Iron Man 3 before heading out the office. I spent some time with Doc before heading home. Ibe and wifey were outside when I got home. They sprayed insecticide in the room and waited for it clear out. Wait what did I even eat today? Beats me! I didn't feel hungry like I normally would, oh well it’s all good. I dropped my bag went outside too. After soaking in some fresh air I got back in the played on ma lappie before my eyes closed of its own accord. Finally I had my beauty sleep to my soul content.

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Let The Sleeping Dog Lie Tuesday May 14 2013

I just couldn't get enough sleep in the morning, the usual suspect being I slept really late. I was up till after 3:00am. I can’t blame my system for wanting a little extra snooze time. I just lay there on the bed after I woke. I grabbed my open heavens to read but just couldn't concentrate. Ibe was already watching a series titled Suit and the television was a tad too high for me concentrate. I didn't bother to go that route of telling him to lower the volume. Just let the sleeping dogs lie. The rate at which they watch movies or television you’ll think their life depended on it like oxygen. I know sometimes it can be boring then one need to escape to the movies, but dude it is way too much.

Amara served us breakfast, white rice with stew. She hurried prepared and left. I finished my meal and put away my plate. Ibe finished and kept the plate aside just like he would drop pure water sachet anywhere. I got myself ready for work and left. I got to the office played two rounds of spider solitaire to put me in the mood. Next I worked on the presentation my boss left me with. I didn't do much browsing except for where I need data for the presentation and there are numerous sections that need Nigeria tailored data.

At around 3:00pm, I stopped work and started reading my workers-in-training manual. I have exam on Sunday this week, failure has never been an option. On top of that, I’m hungry. I don't have any cash at hand, the few kobos I have is held hostage by my bank. They call it savings bank account. The saving it for me they say but am I not saving them the problem of looking for cash to investment via loans or other investment instruments? And they make tons of money from my cash.

I wanted to go Shoprite for a meal, I weeded out the thought, later the thought infested my mind again. I set out to make the thought a reality but it was a bit late, I don't want to waste my time going only to view empty show case cuz it has happened to me before. It was on fine evening like this. I just went back to the office and packed my stuff, let’s call it a day fellas. I can always eat at Onye Mama's place, besides it saves me a few kobos too.

Oh I almost forgot I don't have a dime besides my transport fare, great!. I went to the nearest atm waited out the short queue then lawfully robbed myself and headed home. I got to my bus stop and only one path opened up to me, calling me. I have no choice in the matter. I just heed the call and followed the path. Guess where the path led me to? You guessed wrong. The path led me to Onye Mama's place. LOL! I ate and went back to see Doc. I can see clearly now that hunger is gone.

I felt like I was watching a boring television soap. There was nothing interesting to watch at channel Doc. I tried reading my manual again but the blasting speakers won’t allow. I went home. Nobody was home. Ibe came in shortly followed by Amara. He and dished some food before Amara came in. It was like they came in together. Amara said she was so tired that I can dish mine by myself, I said no problem. I watch a movie on my lappie after that I ate and slept off.

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Earth Songs Of Mother Nature Monday 13 May 2013

''Good morning Jesus good morning Lord. I know you come from heaven above. The Holy Spirit is on the throne. Good morning Jesus good morning Lord''. That's the song the Lord put in my mouth this morning. Lord I'm saying good morning to you. Thank you for making me see yet another beautiful day you have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. I read my open heavens and prayed. I showered.

While I was showering the rapture of Mother Nature captured my attention and I listened attentively to Mother Nature sing her soul caressing song via the croaking frogs, insects chirping, birds singing, breeze whispering as it rushes past my windows, the silence of the sunlight is a song to me, etc. Mother Nature’s choir was really busy this morning. It is a song that only those who appreciative of the little tings in life can hear and cherish with relish. Different voices were distinct all glorifying or saying good morning to their maker. I'm sure the rains must had some influence especially the frogs and toads' happy song. Has it always been like this and I don’t notice it?

It reminded me of life in the village. This is the abridged version of the sound of the village. In the village one is ever close and in tune with nature. A smile stole its way across my face as nostalgia wooed my heart. There's happiness and life in the simple things of life that we take for granted everyday. I miss these little things about the village. I cant remember the last time I heard a cock crow at dawn, the chirping sound of a cricket, the ever busy weaver bird, etc. I love the sound of the village. I love the smell of village too. It doesn't smell like pollution of the big towns and cities.

It's all good. Lord I appreciate you deeply. I dressed up and left for work while Ibe and Amara were cuddled up in bed. The weather is cold cuz of the rain last night, such a perfect weather for baby making practice. The road is flooded, so annoying. The more reason why I need to buy an SUV or a pick-up truck like ford ranger Toyota Hilux or my dream Toyota Tundra! The bus stop is full. I wonder why, probably the rain. Traffic is always terrible after the rain. There was traffic but at least its moving. Every bus stop we drive by is crowded. I was ten minutes late, blame it on the traffic. Whatever it takes I will ride a Toyota Tundra of the era some day or a similar pick-up truck.

Ifeanyi came in a few minutes later. He called Ugo who said he will be in office in a few minutes. But we know it means a few hours. He much later and dished out tasks. Mine was a bit tedious. Then he left for Abuja. Mehn we drank tea several times, drank several cups of water but no real food. We are broke lol. Just as Ify was on his third cup of tea, Chris called that he prepared rice and egg stew. We hit his crib at once like a sniper hits a target. He even prepared additional chicken and we ate full meal. Fayrouz drink was valuable to wash all down nicely. We watched cable TV a little thanked Chris and went back to the office.

A few minutes later Ify left. I left around 6:00pm. Funny shit happened in the bus on my way home. The bus was a VolksWagen transporter popularly called danfo in Lagos. It has three rows of seat at the back. Two of the seats were welded together but weren't fastened to the floor of the vehicle. There just three passengers sitting on the middle seat which was welded to the first seat. The driver instead of slowly moving from its parked position, it just sped off like a freaking rocket.

Then unexpectedly we got thrown backward onto the back seat, it was like a scene from a rollercoaster ride. There was nothing to hold to stop that seat from flipping backwards. The bus got filled up at the next stop so that freak flip won't happen again. I got to my bus stop in one piece.

Mother Nature's song still played in my head, it made a difference in my day. No matter what the day tried to be, the joy, happiness and gladness that Mother Nature put in my heart in the morning still glowed.

I spent some time with Doc and Caesar. Caesar succeeded in getting me jealous with his recant of helluva fun they had a the swimming pool yesterday. They were loaded. Folake and Ruth also went. I wanted to go but was indisposed sort of. I got home feeling tired. Ibe and Amara were at home. Mimi was in the kitchen cooking. I just went straight to bed.

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A Worker Deserves His/Her Pay Sunday May 12 2013

Thank God for life today. This is the day that Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. I went to the Lords house to worship him. He blessed me abundantly. I have never missed church service this year. That's a record for me. Lord I want to even deepen my christian life in truth and spirit. After service I had a good sleep. Went over to Caesar's.

I had a haircut later in the evening. Yeah I look fresh outta barber's shop now. Got home sprayed insecticide in the kitchen which is now being run by roaches. If only I can spray the insecticide continuously for at least two weeks they will be completely gone. After dropping the bombs on the roaches I went to shower. I was in the shower when Ibe and his wife came in. They stayed outside cuz of the fume of the insecticide. I felt fresher after the shower. I left the room too to get some fresh air.

I went and sat by our security post at the gate. That was how I unintentionally invited the young man pour out his complaint to me. He had a nagging issue with the self-imposed care taker of our compound which is my own landlord, Mr. Tony. Mr. Tony refused to pay him last month reason being he lost an old car battery for starting his generator. The security guy Peter is not finding it funny at all. I really felt for him.. Amidst his predicament is my own predicament of the asphyxiating stench reeking from his mouth, dude is drunk!

Though he is in control of his system to an extent but the inhibition to guard his mouth is gone. He has never talked to me about issues like this before. I saw a neighbour giving him some words of advice and encouragement earlier when I came back from the barbers. Now I know what it was about. I don’t blame him for being upset.

Frankly I strongly hate withholding someone's pay after the person has done the work, it’s an abominable, inexcusable and unforgivable crime in my books. A labourer deserves his pay for sake of equity. My cousin's nanny who quit under questionable circumstance has complained to me about her unpaid salary too. I don't care if he is my cousin or not he has to pay her salary arrears.

Somebody has already laboured and you are withholding her rightful bona fide reward for her effort, no I don't side with or condole such. Don't ever deny a worker his salary after he or she has done the work for you. It's a serious crime against humanity.

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Two Loaves of Bread Friday May 10 2013

I slept late, despite that I woke up early. I just lay on the bed. An event occurred last night that really shook me up in a creepy way. My hatred for creepy crawlies knows no bound. I stayed up late watching Inuyasha movie on my laptop, there was no power. No candle was lit, Ibe and his wife were already asleep or pretending to be asleep. I wanted to lie on the bare floor. I cleaned the floor with a rag, then I lay down.

Read: Dear Diary: Wednesday 13-02-2013

I felt something move softly as if I lay on something. I thought maybe it’s just my imagination. I felt the light movement again now I thought maybe a mosquito. Each time I feel it I will arch my back up a little and slam it down to kill whatever it was. The third time I couldn’t just ignore or take it for granted anymore, I gotta see the creature behind the movement. I took my phone turned on the torch and sprang up quickly at the same time flashing my light at the perceived spot and my blood chilled. I couldn't believe my eyes! I saw a fairly large centipede. like I felt goose boulders not even pimples populate my entire body surface from head to toe. JEEZZ!!! How the freaking hell did this thing get in here?

Read: Fumigation Didn't Get Rid Of The Nigerian Mosquitoes, What Next?

Oh well I know a plausible reason how it could've gotten inside. The filth-tolerant habit of Ibe and his wife has already caused cockroach and ant infestation, so it’s no brainer how this centipede got a free pass into my house. I felt so restless. As a kid I feared this creepy crawly. I heard they have a very deadly sting. The thing disappeared immediately. Luckily it showed up again within my killing range and I delivered a crushing blow. The irritation was sending chilling frightening messages through my nervous system. I felt like there are more of them lurking in the dark. I couldn't sleep again. I googled about centipede in granular detail for a considerable amount of my sleeping time. 

I threw away the corpse showered again and kabashed seriously. By kabashing I meant I prayed seriously before going to bed. It was a very horrible experience. Thank God it didn't bite me. I slept well considering my ordeal. It was the first thing I put on Facebook in the morning. Ibe and his wife went out to God-knows-where. I didn't tell them about my horrible experience, does it matter? I pray this horrible experience doesn't repeat itself.

I read the Open Heavens Devotional showered and left for work.

I got there on time, cleaned up the place. My boss and Ifeanyi came later with Ifeanyi being the last to come. Work progressed smoothly. I worked on my blog. I got some materials I want to use to rejuvenate my resume. I’m embarking on serious job hunt next week. It was a full house, Chris was in the office too.

Ifeanyi bought two loaves of bread but wasn't biblical enough to add five fishes to it. If only it was two loaves of bread and five fishes, we could've fed thousands of people. The was the only thing we ate throughout the day. We only finished one loaf though. I booked a Monday flight to Abuja for MD. He'll be gone for about four days. Up till now the triple play of Aero-GTBank-Interswitch are yet to refund my money. I sent them a fairly harsh letter threatening to take legal action if they don’t pay, don't know how long I can’t wait for them. Aero replied the letter immediately the delay or ineffectiveness/inefficiency was on GTBank's part. Same ol shit just a different day.

At the end of the day, one loaf still remained out of the the two loaves. I went home with it, you don't want the bread to spoil before Monday.

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