A Million Bucks Look Monday May 27 2013

Today is World Children’s Day. Thank God for today. I performed my morning ritual. I put up a Facebook update saying;

Today Is Children's Day, I Thank God For All The Children In The World. May God Continue To Protect Them From Evil, Give Them Good Health And Long Life, Feed Them, Nurture Them Into Great People, Etc. And May God Give Children To The Barren In Jesus Name!!!

I put up more nostalgic updates remembering the cartoons I watched back then as a kid. Cartoons like Superted, Voltron, Danger Mouse, Tom & Jerry, etc. I asked my friends to add theirs. Enque named so many that I forgot or didn’t watch. I got to office on time even though I was the last person to come. Ugo came first followed by Ifeanyi then me. But we all came before 9:00 am. Ugo was like for coming to work early, he will buy us all breakfast from Four Point Hotel. That sounded very exciting.

First he wrote me a cheque to cash to cover the expense and other miscellaneous. One thing led to another and he ended up not buying me breakfast but bought for Ifeanyi. Yeah he does that a lot. We dropped him and Ifeanyi at Four Point Hotel and made our way through the light traffic to America International School to take care of a minor payment for Marizu his kid. From there we proceeded to the house to sort another thing out with the wife. That was how I and the driver did our own breakfast. We picked them and went back to the office. We did another round of task outside the office. After that it was serious office work.

Once again Ugo left me out again in the scheme of things. This time it was the Uhambo team. We were preparing a preparing a presentation for investors about Uhambo and what we or Uhambo does. At the end of the presentation is the Uhambo Team listed. His reasoning was that since we have the same surname, that it will brew suspicion in the minds of the potential investors that this company is a family affair. So it’s better I work from the shadows. I didn’t bother trying to argue with him, for now you can have your way.

Did I forget to tell you I was looking like a million bucks today? And the colour was carefully and classically chosen by me. I’m no fashionista but I am so guilty if you accuse of being one today. I and Myself are really envious of people whose attention and eyes have gotten glued to Me. I wore a dark greenish brown check shirt, it has two exotic shades of the colour, excellently fitted like a bespoke shirt. A green Khaki Chinos trouser, signifying greener pasture, going green for Mother Nature, I got a lot green in my pocket and could make one go green with envy, brown belt and shoes, the coordination impeccable, the tire is in-between dark carton colour and a tinge of green, a notorious attention grabber but still blends smoothly like a chameleon and I wrapped it up nicely with a velvet black two button jacket with 007 awesome aura and confidence oozing out.

As I stepped into the office, the WOW effect was visibly overwhelming that Ifeanyi couldn't suppress the exclamation that forced its way out of his mouth seeking expression. Ugo had no choice but to succumb to the paralyzing effect of my classiness too. LOL. Yeah I looked good like that. He blurted out his excitement without reservation then asked me wittily ''Are you looking for a raise?'' I know during orgasm people say some crazy shit out of pressurized pleasure and satisfaction whirling through their system. I can understand where that question came from lol.

Chris came around in the evening in his usual casual sportswear and shorts. He only wears suit or any corporate wear when he has a business meeting. A few minutes later we were done for the day. I left Ugo with Chris as they were deeply engrossed in the discussion. As I got to Lekki roundabout, my spirit ministered to me to check on Caesar’s whereabouts. He said he was at Lekki roundabout, what do you know! I told him that’s where I am too. He picked me up, it beats a dozen times the hassle of public transport. It’s good to pay attention to your instincts, they are never wrong we just read them wrong.

We went to Spar cuz he wanted to pick a few things. I picked a hotdog. After the brief shopping we went straight home. On our way home he told me some personal relationship issues that really find annoying. Everybody got some form of demon or the other they face in their life. Some battle can only be fought by the person directly involved. I wish him luck. This is crucial decision point in life.

As I reached my door I could tell someone has been inside. I got in and saw some more telltale signs. Then I saw a small portion of soup in one of the pots. Garri was already made. I had already zeroed my mind on the chiki-chiki noodle with Frankfurt hot dog I was going to eat this night. I saw a note on the table addressed to me telling me to warm the soup if I don’t wanna eat it. I ate it, warmed the hotdog since there was no light and went to bed.

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Time Out With Pastor/Swimming Sunday May 26 2013

It rained last night. And I slept so well. I almost overslept. Today is Time Out with the pastor. I went to church on time. I didn't put on a tire. Me and one other guy, Idara, was sent out of the class to get a tire from anyone. I just went straight home for a tire. I don't like throwing a tire into the mix, when I wear different coloured trouser and jacket. I did it for the first time. Pastor admonished us. It was meant to strengthen our resolve in this path we have chosen. He hit the ‘head on the nail’ like I always say.

The service somewhat started on a dull note for me. For some strange reason I didn't quite feel the service today. I just don’t know what happened. We had workers meeting after service to conclude on logistics regarding our graduation on 29 May. There was also men's meeting after service but I didn't wait to join the meeting. I went to Caesar's immediately I got home, we are going swimming today, it's like a culture now. Tony and KY are friends of Caesar and now my friends came around. We ate boiled maize, it was very good. Next Blessing served us sweet potato chips. After, she brought boiled groundnut. It’s all good. That's about what I have eaten for the day.

We left the house eventually to pick up Ruth and Ese. Folake won't be joining us today, she's busy at work with Jumia. Now Caesar has been trying to match-make Ruth and Tony but no luck. Ruth has never seen anything good about Tony, she doesn't like him. Tony and KY were in another car Caesar's plan was to ambush Ruth with Tony's sudden presence at the pool. I figured Ruth won't find it funny. I sent Caesar Whatsapp message about my concerns but dude didn’t do anything about it.

KY and Tony were in separate car and parked in the front waiting for us. By the time we came out and for some reason Caesar had to communicate with KY and Tony and then Ruth saw Tony. She flipped on Caesar big time. Caesar tried to deny but there was no plausible deniability for him. He has a long history of trying to literally marry Ruth and Tony together. Ruth sees his matchmaking attempt as an act that borders on criminality. The brawl raged for a while till she calmed down and accepted the fact that Tony was going to see her sexy laps lol.

We got to the pool in really high spirits. We had our own drinks alcohol and cranberry juice. I changed immediately and jumped into the pool with excitement cuz I wanted to try out a new floating technique I read about on the internet. It was the act of floating on water without moving a muscle. Water got into my nose a couple times. I tried some more still same result. But I have this feeling like if I really practice hard I can do it. At my age, one is not so adventurous in some quarters. If it were kid me, I know I will never stop trying to master this floating technique. A little later the rest joined me. The rest were Ruth, Blessing, Ese and Austin. KY and Tony weren’t going to swim.

The pool was relatively had a lot of people, even kids were showing their skills making the grown-ups who can’t swim like Ruth and Ese green with envy lol. To add salt to injury, the smallest of the kids, a very small girl started teaching Ese how to swim. It was a funny sight. The little girl was commanding boldly with a serious-business attitude like her swimming instructor and Ese would just try her best to obey her trainer to the later. She might’ve punished Ese for failing woefully if care wasn’t taken lol. It was some memorable spectacle that should’ve been recorded for future reference lol. Kids are such thing of joy! Caesar’s attention was divided between being in the pool swimming and being out of the pool chatting with KY and Tony. The gist centered mostly on the chicks in the pool.

Then I saw a nasty mucus floating on the water, oh God. That really messed up rhythm. I stayed out of the pool for a long even after the management has taken care of it. I didn’t swim much again. Ruth was really busy learning from the trainer in the pool. We went home earlier than the last time.

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Total Plan System Failure Saturday May 25 2013

Today is a lot of things. It's the monthly sanitation day which is the last Saturday of every month in Nigeria. The plumber is coming to fix my toilet today. Blessing (not Caesar’s girlfriend) said she will come to Lekki area today not my place. And we, the workers under training have time out with the Pastor today by 4:00pm. How do I handle all this? In deed none them is under my control. I read my Open Heavens and prayed. I did the dishes. I called the plumber, it was him who reminded me today's environmental sanitation.

During environmental sanitation no movement is allowed. Everybody should be cleaning their environments. Most people need to be prompted before they can sanitize their environment. It's a grave offence if you are doing otherwise. All shops remain closed and the road is usually empty. It ends by 10:00am.

I started reading a book by Dam Millman titled “The Four Purposes Of Life” It is a good read. It's been lying around for so long. I would've read the book dozens of time supposing I put my will to work. After a few pages I stepped out to the cyber cafe, it was past 10:00am so environmental sanitation has ended. I called the plumber again and he was still at home. And he expects me to believe that he will still make it today. I called Blessing, she was at the shop and also told me she will still come to Lekki in the evening.

The cyber cafe was a total waste of time and money. Can you imagine sending email in the Stone Age era, don’t bother it's not rewarding. I abandoned the computer and browsed on my phone instead. It's just that I can't post to the blog from my phone and I need to Google most of the post pictures. I purposely wasted my browsing voucher so that I won't have any reason to come back here.

I went home, bought bread and sprite on the way. That happened to be my breakfast and lunch. I had a good sleep till around 1:00pm. I got a text from my church around 1:23pm, the time out with pastor has been postponed till 7:00am tomorrow. All the items on my calendar are just taking care of themselves in a no-show way. I picked my book again, at least it won’t tell me not to read it.

Frank called. He is the kind of guy that only calls or visits me when he need a favour. He said he was in the neighbourhood and wanted to say hi, by the way did I cook anything. I said no. He came anyway we talked and I ended up giving him my old laptop. I wanted to give it out anyway. It has a screen and battery problem which I let him know. He was happy, he didn't mind the issues cuz he was convinced he can fix it at computer village Ikeja. If I’m to be frankly frank, Frank is not the kinda guy I’ll normally give something of that value to just like that. He is the type of guy that will never know you when he is enjoying, you won’t even know such time. HE ONLY COMES TO MY HOUSE WHEN THERE’S A HELP I CAN GIVE HIM, PERIOD! I guess the spirit moved me to give it to him anyway just to pay evil with good.

We left together, I needed to collect a particular folder from the hard drive and then format the hard drive. The hard drive refused to work I couldn't retrieve the folder nor format it. Looks like everything that's supposed to happen today don't want to happen.

I planned to go buy new shoe today if not for everything that was lined up. Let me check, what did I accomplish today out of all things I lined up for today, NONE! It was a total calendar collapse. Total system failure. Not my fault though. It all didn't work out cuz it wasn't meant to come to pass.

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Observe In Silence, Action Tells All! Friday May 24 2013

The day started pretty fast and ended the same. Thank God I’m Favoured, its TGIF. I read my Open Heavens and prayed then left for work. At work I did a few out of office runs to the bank and other places. Some really took my time. 

I put up a Facebook status – Observe In Silence, Action Tells All! Few minutes later Ibe put his own, a reply to mine. Here’s what he wrote;

“THOT YOU SAID YOU WERE INEXPERIENCED??ACTION??? I PRAY DONT WATCH YOUR OWN FAMILY DIE IN YOU SO CALLED SILENCE! NOW THAT WONT BE HEROIC,WOULD IT”

Again what the heck is he talking about ‘inexperienced’ Is it one of his many made up phantom enemies? Whatever keeps the dude happy mehn. Just like Chazz & Jimmy on the song ‘Niggas In Paris’ by Jay Z and Kanye West that goes;

Jimmy: I don’t even know what that means

Chazz:   No one knows what it means but its provocative

Jimmy: No it’s not, it’s gross

Chazz:   It gets the people going!

M na-chufu nkita na nshi, owu mua ga-eri ya? Why should I chase a dog away from eating shit, am I the one going to eat the shit? I do my Facebook updates as the spirit moves not because I’m passing a subliminal message to him. I see or feel what I like I post it.

TGIF took place for the first time in our office. We left office around 3:00pm and went to The Pavilion in Lekki Phase 1. That is, me, Ugo and Ifeanyi. We had catfish pepper soup and three rounds of beer. Uncensored conversation ensued if you know what I mean. Fidelis joined us towards the end of our hangout. I'm not much of a cat fish pepper soup guy. Besides it wasn’t that great by my standard. They could've added utazi leaf for a spicier taste. After my three bottles of gulder lager beer I went over to the sea shore to look at coast line horizon. It was beautiful to me. I took some pictures. Actually this was my first time of taking three bottles of beer at a short seating. Not that I can’t hold the liquor but I always avoided it. I don’t derive any pleasure in drinking myself to stupor. Ifeanyi was like for a first timer at drinking three bottles at a go you did it like a pro. I am tipsy.

We all left at the same time. I stopped briefly to say hi to Doc. I went home some minutes past five o'clock. I noticed someone was in my room. I checked the kitchen, there was a half pot of rice on the stove. I drank water and slept off. My sleep was rudely cut short by the notorious sound of someone fiddling with the door lock again. It felt so dreamy in my half-awake half asleep state until I fully regained consciousness. The fiddling continued. Is it that the person doesn't know it is locked from inside or what? Can't the fiddler knock? Does the fiddler really want to damage the lock trying to force it open? Again what if I was enjoying myself with girl, the person will just barge in? I mean common sense is uncommon to these people. I got up still sleepy. Opened the door and went back to the bed.

 

I saw only Amara when I opened the door. Moments later I heard Ibe’s voice. Don’t know when he entered. I see. I'm guessing they didn't think I'll be home by this time. They sneak in and out when they think I'm not home. I knew that Amara knew where Ibe was, I mean it's no brainer. You know for a guy that sent me that brainless text, spews trash on Facebook, he is really shameless to still come back to make use of my apartment. He has succeeded through his actions in poisoning my mind with considerable disdain for him. His actions silhouetted on light of morals. He showered. Don't know what his wife did and he noisily scolded her instantly. That mad noise shattered the revered serenity of my sanctuary. They cleared the rice in the kitchen disappeared into the night darkness to wherever they've been camping.

A call from Nkemakolam cleared the sleep from my eyes and the confusion from my head. I thought it was morning of the next day, I didn't know Friday was not gone yet. We talked about a couple stuff. Sleep didn't come easy again the rest of the night, I managed to sleep anyway.

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No Complain Day Thursday May 23 2013

I declared today no complain day. I don’t want to complain about anything today. I'm gonna try. Humans complain a lot inadvertently. I woke up on time. Feeling good. Feeling like I need more sleep. I read my Open Heavens and prayed. I thought about where Ibe could've gone to. Not that it bothered me but hey just a thought. He crossed the line when that stupid text of his left his phone bound for mine. It's like a bullet, you can't stop it once it's fired and the damage can be very damaging. Also I pondered about where his wife sleeps, is she still doing her Saladmaster business? I’m going to change my locks. But I will let them know first. They are not gonna know what the key looks like. I locked the door from inside which I now do unlike before. I wonder how the Saladmaster thingy is going.

 I went for a shower around 9:00am. As I just started I heard someone fiddling with the door trying to open it. Obviously the person knew it was locked from inside but the person kept forcing the door to open. The person I guess called my phone several times. I couldn't pick in my foamy lathery shower state. The person didn't even knock just kept forcing the door to open. What if I locked it cuz I was having an adult rated quality time with a woman? So whoever the person was will just barge in? I asked who it was and no response was the answer. I said I'm bathing so wait a little while. No change to the intensity of fiddling sound as if someone is noisily picking the lock. I hurried a bit in the bathroom.

When I opened the door I saw no one. I saw some items on the ground telling me who it was. Moments later Amarachi came up, she had a small scissors and other tools apparently to take the lock apart. Seriously?! So she wants to take the lock apart and probably leave the fixing part to me. It’s no complain day by the way, am I complaining? I’m glad they have a place they are staying now even if it’s the riskiest dirtiest darkest parts under Obalende Bridge. I dressed up and left for work.

Ifeanyi was already there, Ugo wasn't. Ify has been absent this week. I got him updated on events in the office. We had a little basketball competition. We had this small ball in the office so we took turns trying to throw it inside a waste paper basket at other corner of the office. Yeah we should be working right lol. He demolished me. He beat me 6-1. He said he will beat me 10-1 but we stopped when MD came to work. I know we'll do it again, it’s just a matter of convenient time. We have discovered a stress relieving exercise. After all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy they say. Immediately MD came in he ordered food for us, is he that starved? I went to get the food and some other stuff. I bought a lot of stuff, let’s just say I made sure I spent all the money.

Did I tell you how good I looked? I wore a nice TM Lewin pink shirt, a brown chinos trouser and a black jacket. Boy I look sweet if I can so myself. If I were you I will fall for me now lol. A weird fashion coincidence occurred. Ifeanyi wore a pink polo shirt and brown chinos trouser exactly like me. The driver also wore similar colour shirt and chinos. What sorta uniform is this? It's like we planned it. The only difference is my black jacket. I finished my shopping, time to head back to the office. The car refused to start. Are you kidding me? When I'm looking classy like that, this car wants to fall my hand like we say here. I can’t complain, it’s no complain day lol.

I told my boss the situation and he asked me to take public transport back while he sends a mechanic to fix the car. I went back to the office. We had our meal, it was good. Shortly the mechanic arrived to the office with faulty car, he has fixed it. He advised the car be serviced immediately to avoid a recurrence of fault in a more damaging scale. When I got home Amara was there cooking rice and stew. She asked if I want some. I said yes. She left for me in the pot and took rest and left. I ate and went to bed.

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Chief Sunday Ndubuisi Ariwodo Died Wednesday May 22 2013

I called Yomight the plumber in the morning to fix the toilet issue. He said he'll come on Saturday. Amara came in this morning. I left her at home and left for work. The office seems deserted today. MD hurriedly ate his food and left to pick his kids from school. Ify breezed in briefly towards evening. He left shortly. MD hadn't come back yet.

News got to me that we lost a relation this morning. One of my uncles, a patriarch Chief Sunday Ariwodo died this morning in Atlanta US. He lived a good life, achieved good things. He had a good wife and children. It’s a shocker. I can’t even write anything today. I grew up with living with this man and his family. His wife is my aunt, my dad’s elder sister. He has a legendary aka gum. 

He is a good man. I can remember his laughter so well.

May the lord comfort us all especially the immediate family.

May his soul rest in perfect peace.

Chief Sunday Ndubuisi Ariwodo's Clan

Here's a Facebook message from the last child and last son, Osondu

“My Dad Chief Sunday Ndubuisi Ariwodo Passed and have gone to be with his LORD on Wednessday morning 05/22/2013. He gently and quietly left us at the age of 81yrs. He was the rock and guardian of his family. very peaceful and loving. We will all miss his smiles and calmness of heart. He is survived by his wife, five children, three daughter in-laws, thirteen grandchildren, two brothers, and one sister.

Papa rest in peace”

Here's another from the second son, Izu

"Daddy, you were like the sun to me

Alway there, and beaming life lessons to me.

Never did I expect the cold hand of death.

You taught me wisdom, patience and love

You taught me by being a role model.

Without your teachings, I wouldn't be

the man I am today.

You built a foundation no one can take away.

I have grown up with your values and I am

Glad, you were there for me.

I respect and admire you.

I love you, and will forever miss you.

Good night my God sent father

Rest peacefully in the lord till
we meet to part no more."

Here's another from the first child and first son, Obinna

How are the mighty fallen! The Patriarch of the Ariwodo clan, Chief Sunday Ndubisi Ariwodo, has just gone to paradise. With total submission to the will of the Almighty God, we cherish the time God allowed him to bless us with his erudite presence. We would be no where without his careful guidance. He was an awesome Dad. Pls pray for strength for my family

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Every Disappointment Is A Blessing Tuesday May 21 2013

I slept alone in the house once again. Feels like old times but the house don't quite smell or look like old times yet. I read my Open Heavens and prayed. Did a little laundry. I reworked my article about the accommodation crisis I'm going through. Before I did laundry something happened. I went in the toilet, one look at the water cistern tank and something looked off about it. I looked closer and it wasn't lapping to the wall like it's supposed to. I checked the under and the iron holding it to the wall was rusty and weak. I was like this this is gonna fall soon. My disposable gillet cover got stuck in the narrow gap that has gradually formed where it should've lapped to the wall.

My premonition or sixth kick-started and imminent danger was sort of averted. As I tried to remove the shaving stick cover the tank dropped with the speed of a faulty elevator. I didn't even see how quickly I moved. Trust my sharp reflex, I'm not bragging o lol! But I caught firmly. Mind you the tank was full. I was like what the hell just happened. I’m glad it happened the way it did. Imagine the shattering outcome had I not been rightly positioned when it fell off the wall and more importantly if I failed to catch it. It would've smashed to bits on the toilet floor maybe damaging the floor tiles in the process. The other likely outcome was to land on my toes and that would've been painfully bloodily ugly. Thank God for the way it happened. I cleared the rust that dirtied the toilet.

They say every disappointment is a blessing, I've always wondered how. This time I saw a blessing in disguise. We've been having water problem, I had no idea that clean water flowed into tank while no water flowed in other taps. Now I know, I don’t need to go downstairs to fetch water. Matter fact I fetched from the pipe feeding the water cistern, no dulling. I used the water to wash my swimming gear, showered and stored some in the bucket.

Fifi the girl that lives directly below me came looking for Amara. I’m guessing just like me she has no clue where she went to unless she was pretending. She asked if Amara went out this morning I said yes. I went to work. I ran into Caesar as he was going to work too. He gave me a lift, and transport fare saved. He works in Lekki too with wife of Peter Okoye of PSquare. We talked about joining forces with a few young guys to start a business legacy. I loved the idea. If you ask me I’m ready. I was first to resume as usual.

Chris came in almost immediately. The boss came in late. I didn't do much of running around today like I did yesterday. I downloaded a list of Jaci Velasquez songs for him. She has nice songs. Then I faced that energy sapping boring presentation again. That was all I did till close of work. I made significant progress. South Africa called Ugo asking after Ifeanyi like they wanna recruit him. That’s good for him. Ugo promised to send them a brief profile of Ifeanyi. He asked me Ifeanyi's birthday and it dunned on me that I don’t know it. That’s really awkward. I’m sure he doesn’t know mine but I felt like I should know his.

I emailed my progress on the presentation before leaving the office. I got in the first bus, a very comfortable front seat. The back seat wasn’t as comfortable though. The bus doesn’t have a window you can open at the back. It’s just a plain sheet of glass. It’s good for cars that always use the air-conditioner. I hate sitting at the back of such buses. You don’t get enough air back there. Most drivers and conductors alike don’t give a rat’s ass how uncomfortable it makes passengers. They just want your goddamn money. The bus was taking long to fill up cuz people get in the back, notice window and just get out the bus fast.

One woman complained to the conductor, and I was taken aback by the magnitude of rudeness laden response of the conductor. It was very aggravating. I can imagine how the woman felt. The conductor went on talking so rudely to other passengers and I just couldn’t stand it. I got down from the bus and waited for the next one. Jeez people should learn a little manners, it won’t wear away your personality. I got to Doc’s shop, didn’t spend much time there. Me and Austin went to Onye Mama’s place to take care of stomach emptiness. I didn’t quite enjoy the meal. The garri was too soft for my liking. I went home.

Amara was at home. Okay. I didn’t bother asking where she went or the whereabouts of his delusional husband. I was contemplating removing the extra key from where I keep it for emergency entry. I decided to leave it for a while. She picked a few things and left again. She also left a burning candle dangerously placed directly on top of the kitchen cupboard. If not for God’s protection she might’ve burnt us all a long time ago with careless placement of burning candles. You will think they know how to take simple precaution. I watched a movie on my lappie and hit the sack.

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