Why Do Some People Go To Church To Distrub?

Sunday April 28 2013
The night sleep was highly refreshing, I almost over did it. Having a full eight hours sleep has its mental health benefits. I woke up around ten minutes to seven. Man how sleepy I still feel. I need more sleep lol. I hurried lazily out of bed. As I was about to shower I felt a bit pressed to take a dump. What?! At this time?! For me taking a dump is like yoga. If you know the benefits of yoga, that is benefits of me taking a dump. I take my sweet time to do the service. I don’t have time for this now. Let’s keep it safety deposit box, more like fixed deposit account till I get back from church! I prepared for church. Long story short, I went late by a minute I believe.

We had the class. I enjoyed the Open Heavens as was taken by a fellow trainee worker though she has been long in that sorta service. After that service commenced as usual. Praise and worship took place.

As the choir was ministering through one lovely song, my neighbour came in accompanied with his girlfriend and settled beside me. I never expected what happened. This guy and his girlfriend were total nuisance in the church especially to me. They kept talking and talking like they were lounging by the bar. It was a non-stop session of talking, snickering, laughing and they didn't bother to keep their voice down. When we stand up to pray, they'll be sitting down completely devoted to their disturbance and nuisance in church.

I always ask myself why do people like this who cause nothing but nuisance in church bother to come to church anyway. What do they come to accomplish since they are not interested in the service? Is it to show there face and fashion? It is so annoying. They were agents of the devil period. They came just to distract people but it won’t work on me. Father forgive them for they know not what they do. I''m sure they do know this time. After service I went home. This guy has really made a horrible impression, his new reputation that of an unapologetic nuisance in church.

Bored. Hungry. Alone. I drank garri. Back in church I had this yearning urge to drink garri with salt that possessed me. I haven’t drank garri in ages but that was my expensive staple back in secondary school days. The benefits of having garri back then was immeasurable but students always abused drinking of garri. I drank the garri and felt so deeply satisfied. I simply obeyed my urge. I don't know how nourishing it was, my innards can explain that better. I holed myself indoors. I used that opportunity to wash my bathroom, left to Ibe, the place can look like a sewer and he will be perfectly comfortable with it. Not that I expect him to wash it, that’s like a pig to neaten up like a cat. His has his strength in some other department. 

One of my neighbours Egana called me, she is very cheerful always smiling good-looking girl. Her smile is contagious, too contagious for a single Nigerian man like me lol. She came to spend some time with me. I’m glad she came. Again thats a nice temptation for a single Nigerian man like me. I was pleasantly surprised too. We spent quite some time, talked at length, we learnt so much about each other. She left sometime in the evening. As she left I got on autopilot went to Igbo Efon to see Caesar. A few minutes after I arrived at his place, his babe served us a delicious healthy meal. You'll think I timed it but it was just my luck. UC a mutual friend of ours came over too.

We talked and talked, no actually Caesar talked and talked and....but not like the nuisance in church fellow. Mehn this guy never gets tired of talking. I admire him cuz he reads wide so he makes incredible sense when he talks but I don't always agree with everything he says. My eyes started going numb slightly. I had to leave. I went home and hit the sack head on. I don't know when Ibe came in the night.

Continue Reading→

Presentation Of Open Heavens At Our Workers-in-training Class

Saturday April 27 2013
Today is the D-day I'm the class speaker to present the Open Heavens at our workers-in-training class. I got up prepared early. It will be bad if I get there late on a day like this. It is clear that the benefits of my increasing spirituality is visibly evident in my personal daily life. Finally the time came for me speak. I mounted the altar. This was my first time to speak or teach/preach from the altar, I let the class know that jokingly. At least history was made today. I was nervous, I also let the class know that. Then I took the class gracefully. Though I won’t give my performance perfect score based on how envisioned it, it didn’t quite go like that. I did well, I guess I set a high standard for myself. Next time I will surpass my expectation.

After the class we did a little sanitation activities against tomorrow's service. I came home a bit tired. I slept a little. Ibe cooked rice yesterday. Amara traveled so he is essentially a pure single Nigerian man now lol. I didn’t taste it yesterday. I ate some today. I rested up a bit then waged my long awaited war on the roaches. It was really intense. And it was very fruitful too. I have to do this every day for two straight weeks at least. A wall gecko was caught in the cross fire, that’s a bonus for me. Ibe came in just as I was about cleaning the menace of the roach carcass in the kitchen. After I was done cleaning, I went out.

I went to Igbo Efon to Doc's place. Caesar was there as well. So we hung out for a while. Austin came around and bought us beer. Well that’s nice of him. I didn't stay too long before heading back. I went home to prepare myself for church tomorrow. I ironed what I wanted to wear. I slept off while studying the topic against tomorrow's worker-in-training class.

Continue Reading→

Tallest Cake In Africa Standing Tall: Proud To Be Nigerian

                                           

Nigerians are the most ambitious, hardworking, zealous, etc people I've ever seen. In the midst of our numerous handicaps we still excel. A Nigerian cake maker TOSAN JEMIDE has made history for making the tallest cake in Africa. Jemide unveiled the unique cake design at Silverbird galleria in Victoria Island Lagos State, Nigeria.

The cake enters the Guinness book of World Records at a gigantic height of 28-feet from the ground. That is an awesome height. We Nigerians. We are good people, great nation. We are proud of you for making the tallest cake in Africa.

Somebody hand me a slice of the tallest cake jor!

Can you beat that?!!

Continue Reading→

A Good Friend Rescued Me Friday April 26 2013

I’m not sure if I was ready for the day but the day was so ready for me. It rained last night. I didn't quite feel the effect in my melancholy mode/mood. At least I slept well. I needed to reconfigure my laptop to change a locked window user name. I don’t know how to go about it. So I planned to hijack Google all day till I get a solution. I did a little clean on my laptop first. I deleted some irrelevant files and also stumbled onto nude pix of someone I know. Seriously?!! Wonders shall never end! So this caliber of person takes nude photos and leaves it carelessly in somewhat public domain. I freed up some space on my hard drive. Ibe put a lot of heavy movies on the lappie I need to delete them. I never even watched any of them. They are really good at watching movies.

I left for work but first I went to PHCN office to make a payment. I trekked from my apartment to the PHCN office not like it’s that much of a distance. After paying I headed to the office. Internet? Check! Power? Check! Conducive environment? Check! Food? Ah uh no food today. So water? Check. I will go to the cash machine later. Accompanied by Google I started exploring relentlessly and voraciously every inch of web space with fine-tooth comb. The tons of information were expected though. Some were rubbish and some were rubies to me.

Finally I got a way around it. It's not 100% but I achieved the main objective, I can live with the other insignificant fix. I didn't have enough to copy back all the files I backed up but I can always do that any time. I was so engrossed in fixing this thing that I forgot to visit the atm machine. My transport fare is not complete though I can get home with amount. The closest atm, a Zenith bank atm was so crowded like it was faulty or something.

As I was leaving office I started a Whatsapp chat with a good friend of mine, Chioma my ex. I told her I was stranded and didn't have money to go home and she was like where are you? I’m like what? She is supposed to be in the east. It happened that she was in Lagos. She asked me to wait for her and she was coming from Obalende. I went to First bank atm and got some money out.

My long anticipatory wait for her initiated. She came after a long wait. It was good seeing her. An old friend ran into her at the bus stop. We boarded the same bus eventually. She paid for all three. As I was about get down at my bus stop she stylishly squeezed N1000 into my hand. I was grateful for that. I sent her a thank you whatsapp message. I went straight to Onye Mama's place to fill my tank. I went home showered and slept off in seconds.

Continue Reading→

Open Heavens Tuesday April 23 2013

A call from Ugo woke me up. Accompanying the call was stomach wall disintegrating hunger. I didn't plan to go to work today but with the instruction he gave me all the way from South Africa over the phone, I have no choice but to reach the office. At least I still have the power to decide the time to get there. I will do some clean up at home before leaving for office. I stayed in the house gamed on my phone, worked a little on my laptop and did no house cleaning whatsoever. I’m hungry. Yeah I read my open heavens did a little preparation for my worker-in-training class on Saturday, I will be teaching from the open heavens.

I left for office around 12:40pm. I branched at Spar to grab a meal. I’m broke. My rent is still giving me deep concerns. I prayed and wished and is still praying and wishing for a miracle of getting another apartment so I can have peace of mind. I went to the bank to pay for the PHCN bill which I will later use to complete the KYC form as requested by Swift ISP. PHCN link was down so I couldn’t pay. I went back to the office, ate my meal hungrily like an uncivilized primate. I checked my emails. I posted a few materials on my blog. I will go to PHCN office tomorrow.

I did some research on the web regarding the site I wanted create and I saw a deluge of similar site with one created as far back as 1998. I got discouraged to continue the pursuit of the idea. Chris came later in the evening. I wanted to go early today but Onayimi called me bringing to my notice a bug on my blog when viewed on mobile. I had to rectify the problem. By the time I’m through it was like closing normal office hours. I went home.

I hung out with Caesar and Doc for a while. Doc just returned from the East. He attended his younger sister's wedding. I went home to an empty room. Ibe was away. Then I noticed the electric fan was broken at the neck. If it were a human, that's paralysis from neck down. It was really annoying. Brethren you don’t have the faintest earthly nor celestial clue as to how it made me feel. These people disaster/calamity personified. They are reckless in using appliances. Very disorganized they scatter the room at any moment. Very unhygienic, their filth-friendly attitude brought a disgusting roach infestation that I've been struggling to eradicate. What more can I say. These greatly deeply painfully irritate/disgust me to every cell in my body. 

Did I mention that I’m broke? How do I fix all these mess and madness I see every second? I’m just playing some music to calm my shattered mood. Lord take this cup away from me. The yoke is too heavy laden. He came much later in the night. I was half awake/asleep. He explained how it happened, it didn't make any difference. If you did the right thing it wouldn’t happened. He said the mattress fail when he walked past it, he barely touched it. That’s why he normally stands the mattress on the corner of the room. He said with unfounded air of conviction that that keeping the mattress to his preferred corner was the smartest solution to putting it away with the undertone of was I that stupid not to know. I gave it him straight.

I told him first of all the mattress should be on the bed. Left to me alone I will put it back on the bed the minute I wake up in the morning, I don’t need to stand on the wall whatever the corner. It’s because he or they are always asleep when I wake that I rest it against the wall. So the best to when they wake is to put it back on the bed where it belongs not shifting it to your preferred side of the wall. If it’s on the bed it won’t fall and damage the fan. Sometimes when I get home the mattress will still be on the wall which I find distasteful. Most people are work in progress, these

When the kids were around, they will just let the kids convert it to play ground while still resting halfway on the wall. Sometimes it will fall and hit the kids. I hate seeing such destructive sight. I will tell this people over and over and over again, my bed or the bed is not a freaking playground, don’t let them play like that on the bed. Even when I put the mattress myself on the bed in the morning by the time I come back from work they’ve brought it down or lean it against the wall. These supposed full-fledged adults will literally convert the mattress to a foot mat. GOD! I need God's open heavens of goodness in it's fullness in my life right now.

Continue Reading→

A Lonely Monday April 22 2013

I sleep very well these days since my boss is out of town. I go to work late cuz there isn't much to do in the office. But I work more on my blog. I was all alone in the office today. Chris didn't show up. I ditched the corporate dressing for the moment. I worry alot. My mind heavy with all the weighty issues on my shoulders. Lord I need your divine intervention. Smile on my face, frown on my heart. Still I gotta live one day at a time. Sometimes these thoughts get too much and on such occasion I run to my music to comfort me. The day wasn’t so eventful after all. I went home early. I repeat I rally need the lord's divine intervention.

Continue Reading→

Lazy Friday April 19 2013

Thank God Im Favoured. Thank God Its Friday. Fridays seems to energize people in more ways than one especially if you don’t work on Saturday or if you have plans for Friday night.

Continue Reading→