Home Alone And Loving It Monday May 20 2013

I actually slept alone in the house. I’m home alone and I’m loving it. My “roomies” didn’t come back last night. Who knows where they are. Today is my younger brother’s birthday yaaay!! I sent him a very lovely xpressive text wishing him well and showing my love for him. He replied with similar content. My eyes were better today but let’s see if it can buy me a day off.

I sent my boss a text about my eye also requesting for my money. He replied that I should come to his house to collect the money, pay PHCN bill for him and go home. I see the catch. He can forget it then. Meanwhile I cleaned the living room windows. By 10:43am I’m still at home and the couple occupying my space is nowhere to be found. Following the direction of my stomach, I went to Spar Park n Shop to grab breakfast. I checked the pharmacy for eye drop brands, I will probably buy later. I bought the food and left. I was the first to get to work.

First of all I took my time to eat my breakfast. I enjoyed it. Let me say it again I enjoyed it. My digestive system had barely started digesting what I ate when my boss accompanied by Yahya waltzed in. They went to the same Spar Park n Shop to buy food. Glad we didn't bump into each other, not that it mattered anyway. He even brought food from home and still went out for food. He offered me some food. In my mind I was like, “I’m sorry there's no vacancy, we are currently not recruiting any food at the moment.” I don't think my digestive tract will forgive me if I had tried to force down any morsel of food. I kept the food for later.

Ifeanyi didn't come at all, his folks were in town so he was taking care of them. Today was just touring Victoria Island and Lekki phase 1 with errands. Cash this cheque pay that bill, print this document deliver that message. Thank God I did it with the driver otherwise it would not have been funny. It sure took a lot of time to get all these tasks done. I did complete all anyway.

My boss worked on our company PPM with Yahya. That PPM is a lot of work. I prefer it to this presentation that I'm stuck with. By the time I was through with all my assignments, the day was pretty much over. It was now that I remembered the food kept away. It wasn't big like I imagined. This big container deceived me. It's all good. I ate and closed for the day.

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Workers-In-Training Exam Sunday May 19 2013

Today is the D-day. It’s the day of workers-in-training exam. I’m not satisfied with my preparation cuz a few things keep disappearing from my memory. I haven't shown Amara the text her husband sent me. When I told her about his call, she just said she don't know what's wrong with him. Ibe called again in the morning just before I went to shower. I picked the call said hello a few times and he didn't say anything. I let it read up to fourteen seconds of silence before I cut the call.

I wondered why he didn't say anything. Was he thinking I wouldn't pick his call? Foolish if that's the reason. That’s his business. I wore my jacket for the first time in ages. I then showed the text to Amara. In my exact words I said; Amara lekwa texti oma Ibe sendiri. Meaning look at the wonderful text Ibe sent. She didn’t say anything after she read it. I didn’t say anything either. I have a workers-in-training exam today I don’t want any foolishness to mess it up. I got to church on time. Bro Johnson took Open Heavens after which the workers in training exam commenced.

The workers-in-training exam was okay. It had a short answer section, a memory verse section and essay section of 5 questions to answer 3. I only answered one from the memory verse, three from the essay a couple from the short answer part. Assessing my performance, I passed. The result will be announced next class.

There was a guest minister, Pastor Ayo. He's also a musician, producer, multi-instrumentalist, etc. He plays sax mostly. Today was one of those days when the equipment decided to malfunction and the technical crew was helpless to salvage it on time. This pastor took the stage to 'saxify' us but the mics didn't want any part of it. Nevertheless the show must go on. He continued like that till the end. I felt him a little bit, I knew I would've felt it more had the mics worked. I love sax and violin very much. The youth were in charge of today's service. It was awesome.

The guy that led choir today was something else. I haven’t seen him before. The guy is a talented born entertainer. Toward the end of the service our pastor introduced the CD of the guest pastor and saxophonist, then I understood why the microphones rebelled. The CD goes for N2000! Are you kidding me? Said they produced it in South Africa. In my mind I was like no way I’m gonna get 100 feet near that CD lol. If I’m lying I’m dying. I prayed a prayer of faith believing God for ultimate solution to my current accommodation palaver.  I‘m so convinced in my spirit He has answered my prayer. When I got home nobody was home. I don’t know where they were. I washed few items and went to Caesar's place, we are heading to the pool.

The pool today was something that marvels the imagination. Me and Caesar went with Ruth and Folake and we met one of their church member Ese. Ese was a wild one. She isn’t the shy type and doesn’t hold back. It was fun galore from start to finish. As a matter fact we didn't want to finish. I've never soaked myself this long in a pool before! Oh well my eyes are bearing the brunt now. I was supposed to attend house fellowship but.....

Beloveth I haven’t eaten today but the massive jollification has exiled the hunger from my system. I don't even know what food is with my level of overflowing testosterone. Every end was once a beginning so our pool leisure came to an end. We went home. I stayed at Caesar's a little as I fell asleep in a flash. I went home when I woke up. The house was still a ghost of itself. Ibe and Amara were still gone. I don't mind if they sleep wherever they went. A peace of mind and privacy is all I ask. Is that too much mate? I took my clothes from the line. I bought a drink and a snack. Already I ate one small corn at Caesar's. That was all I tasted today. Now that my testosterone high has come down, I finally realized how hungry I was. I can’t cook anything now. My eyes are hurting, I just want to sleep.

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Brainless Call And Brainless Text Saturday May 18 2013

Today is our workers-in-training review session class against the exam tomorrow. Today is also a church youth power summit tagged 3Gz - God, Guys & Girls. I woke up feeling so attached to the bed, I didn't want to wake up. I literally pried myself out the bed with self-will pry bar. I’m sure some pieces of me that didn't wanna let go are still glued tightly to the bed. I showered and left for the review class which starts at 8:00am.

The review session was helpful, it refreshed our memories on some little things you might’ve forgotten. Still if you haven't read up until now, it will do you not much good. After the class we did sanitation. After that I helped with setting up the place for the youth's program. I did the much I can and went home. I ate some bread and had a really long siester. I slept till I got tired of sleeping still I hadn't had enough. I didn't attend the youth program, didn't plan to anyway. I tried to do final revision for my exams tomorrow. I keep forgetting what I’ve read, God help me o!

Amara prepared food. I ate, thanked her and continued reading. She wasn't feeling well. Ibe came in went straight to the kitchen did whatever it was noisily like the kitchen community or ecosystem protested his visit. He left as quickly as he came in saying no word to no one. I got the funniest call from Ibe at exactly 22:03:55pm and I’m not even laughing. Incoming call caller id was his name I thought maybe it was Amara since I saved all their numbers with his name cuz I can’t imagine him and his bloated ego calling me. He might as well put it on Facebook. Oh well I was wrong. The line was a bit bad but my phone call recorder picked the thirteen seconds call nicely. Immediately I said hello the next racket that polluted my ear was;

Ibe: Don’t Worry Very Soon I Go Pack Make You And Amarachi Live Together Eh.

Me: Eh?

Ibe: Don't Worry Emechaa, Very Soon I Go Pack So That You And Amarachi Go Live Together Eh.

And the line went dead. Slowly I lowered the phone from my ear, staring at it like a strange object I’m seeing for the first time. My first reaction was a puzzled expression on my face and mind. I stared bemusedly and intently at my phone for a pretty long time as though it had played a pointless prank on me. Waiting for the phone to confess that it was just a prank but it didn't happen. I looked deeply at the cloak of darkness that wrapped me up on the staircase, scanning for answers to assure me I just imagined what happened. I didn’t get any assurance either.  What kinda brainless call is this? This guy has finally lost it. I’m sure I have said that a couple times before, I’m serious this time. This guy never ceases to amaze me.

Why was he not man enough to tell it to my face all this while we sleep in the same room?

One of his major flaws is how he holds concretely onto his delusional thoughts as if they are well proven and established facts!

People go through really unbelievable things, this situation has thought me so much. Beside the strife and troubles, I should be glad for the life teachings. Should I play this call for his wife? I think I should. So she could brace herself to living with me, that doesn’t even make sense as a joke. Is he trying to be a shirker and shirk his responsibilities? Did I ever expressly or by implied tell him in words or action that I had any interest whatsoever to live with his wife? I dey madt?

All I ever asked him to do was take responsibility, find an accommodation of his own and live with his family there like a man of his status should do. Instead of thoughtfully thinking a way forward and out of this mess, he is zealously interested in and invested his time chasing his tiny tail. Trust Ibe to always come through with something spectacularly stupid. And the monumental mindless misguided telephonic attack continues. Little did I know the worst is yet to come. Ibe didn't sleep in the house, God knows where he slept. From his new abode, wherever that is, he sent me a brainless text at 3:29am. You wouldn't believe your eyes, I didn't. The text goes;

''Inexpirencd?Kp deceivn urself.ur wit her, my wife nw!wat u v always wanned!Hws d pussy...U lik?u v hlpt wreck my fam in2 shreds.all I askt4 was hlp til i find a plac.bt all 4d pussy u wudnt set ur own had rite.sleepn wit her alone in ur hous is great hlp thnx a lot.hpe u kno wat u v don & r doin?yea u do!''

He seems pretty loaded with brainlessness today. Earlier it was a brainless call, now a brainless text. First of, I won't reply that brainless text, I disincline to discredit my intellectual prowess by dignifying a garbage with a response. Secondly I don't even know what the hell he meant by 'Inexpriencd'. At this point nothing will surprise me again. His delusion, insecurity and paranoia has reached all-time high. I think he seriously needs a mental help, to avoid a permanent residency at 'Yaba Left'. I admit embitterment coursed through my vein at the text. Just because you know a mad will throw stone at your valued glass and break it doesn’t mean you won’t feel anything when it happens.

All I did was shelter him and his family disregarding the tremendous inconvenience and sacrifice it saddled on my shoulder and this is the motherf**king thanks I get? Let no man blame me for his irresponsibility and the misfortunes he single-handedly brings upon himself by his own hands. Only God can judge me now. Now I see why Amara wore a trouser and shirt to bed other than her usual wrapper when Ibe was around. I can understand that.

Ibe is always so quick to spew some crazy things that makes me wonder what actually goes on in his heart. The bible clarifies it in Luke 6:45 which says;

"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh."

They say show me your friend and I'll tell you who you are, that saying won't work here. Please for my sake make an exception and disregard that saying. I’m nothing like this guy and never will!

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God’s Mercy And Grace Keeps Me Friday May 17 2013

My eyes opened, it was morning. For an instant I suffered amnesia about last night's ordeal. Then the floodgate to the reservoir that holds the memory of torment crumbled down. My eye almost popped out of their sockets as it popped wide open in full realization of what happened. The visual vividness and clarity of every detail was scary. It was like I was reliving the night. If not for God’s mercy and grace, I wouldn’t have seen today going by what I went through last night. I read my Open Heavens and prayed with a deep sense appreciation and gratitude.

My boss is coming back today but I don't know when. I thought he will come back in the evening. My phone rang later in the morning, speak of the devil. My boss said he's back in Lagos and he needs me to do something. Yeah he always needs me to do something. I hurriedly showered went to work. In the office I browsed a little and focused on the presentation. It was tedious and annoying, you have no idea. Truth be told it wasn't all a waste of time cuz I learnt something on PowerPoint. I own the office today.

No sign of Ugo, Ifeanyi isn't coming, he made that clear yesterday. Ugo came back a few minutes after three. Now judge this situation. The task was to pay N65000 into a phone dealer's account for a Samsung galaxy, meanwhile he owes me N10000 part of my salary. He didn't pay me but he paid another dude. I made it clear to him before he traveled that I need that money badly. I hate it when people behave like that. It’s just God’s mercy and grace that is keeping me. I went to GTBank and the crowd rivaled Lagos population. GTBank has a network problem putting its service on agonizing delay. Deposit wasn't a problem, thank God for that. I put the money in, went back to the office.

I played three game of spider solitaire and went home. I went straight to Onye Mama's place rejuvenate myself. Boy I ate it gluttonously, maybe I broke Guinness record for shortest time spent eating garri and egusi-oha soup lol. Thank God for the food for his mercy and grace upon my life.I went to the house. I noticed two items I washed wasn't on the line. I wonder what happened to them or who took them in for me. The clothes were taken in after all. I asked Amara who did it, she said it’s like it was Ibe. That sounded rather strange to me but still I said he did a nice job. It is not his MO. I suspect she is just trying to put in a good word for him.

In all honestly, when his demons are asleep, Ibe can display a good core. He thinks or cares about others, he's willing to share whatever he has, he can try to motivate you, etc. He is also a big fat jerk and the jerk part casts a very long foul shadow. I changed and went to Doc's place to while away time. When my whiling away time mission was accomplished I went home to bed.

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Insecticide Fume Suffocation Attack Thursday May 16 2013

Today wasn't like yesterday when I was under strong sleep spell but my effort to sleep well was frustrated by Ibe and co. I woke up at the usual time did my morning ritual and read the workers-in-training manual. Mehn this approaching exam is getting me nervous, why should I be? Maybe cuz I haven't prepared to my heart's content. Not that I can fail it, that is so impossible but I’m not satisfied with my preparations so far. I need to be in office by twelve noon so I still got some time before I leave. I went to the kitchen, drank water and took a moment to relish my cleaning handiwork of yesterday. Just look at how clean the wall and window sparkles. I wonder if my roomies noticed how clean it looks. Seriously I always wonder if they can actually tell the difference. Regarding tidiness, you might as well label them ataxomaniacs.

I got to the office around 12:12 noon. Ify was yet to come. He came in looking so corporate and all. That’s very unlike him, I bet there's a business meeting today. Victory my good friend I’ve known for a long time who now lives in the UK called me. He had spoken to me earlier to help him get a police report from police office in Ikoyi Lagos. Ifeanyi cautioned me to be careful with “UK guys”, I told him I can trust this guy. So he called again today requesting my detail for mail and money transfer regarding the errand. I gave it to him, the package will arrive next week hopefully. Evidently there was a meeting as I suspected. Ifeanyi left for the meeting and dropped me off at ShopRite to grab a meal.

I had no dime on me except N10. Armed with my MasterCard card, I felt like Mr. Money. The check-out point proved me wrong. What?! My card isn't working?!! I went to the nearest atm machine, the same thing. I’ve always thought this might happen one day, alas that day is upon me. What a hassle! Luckily my bank was close to The Palms Mall. Even luckier it's still banking hours. And being the luckiest, the bank was virtual empty, a very rare occurrence. I made the withdrawal quickly and went back. The cashier was kind enough to keep my item waiting for me. I paid and left.

What is wrong with my right foot today? I’m not a superstitious fellow but honestly it’s beginning to freak me out! I have been hitting the foot everywhere. My left foot attempted it once. Where did this communication and coordination breakdown originate between my right foot, motor neurons and my brain? Even when the road appears to be relatively flat my right foot will find something to hit! Has the remote control for my right foot fallen into the wrong hands? Imagine someone else controlling just one part of your body like a puppet, that’s creepy.

I ate, didn't quite enjoy the pork meat. I tried working on the presentation, it’s just not flowing. I’m outta here, I’m going home. I was stepping into our compound as Ibe was leaving. I hailed the guy he was leaving with but we were dumb towards each other. I got inside not hoping to eat anything. I didn't leave any money for food. Matter fact I've not been given money specifically for food but I do buy food stuff and canned food from time to time. I have really big issues right now. Mimi asked if I will eat garri, please by all means I will eat garri. She dished it and asked if she should add more, please by all means add more. It was a really nice soup with heavy traffic in it.

When I say there's traffic in a soup it means the soup is really rich with fish - all kinds, meat - all kinds, etc. This one had one big fish and one big beef. I couldn't finish the garri, I thought I could. I don't really eat too much garri at a seating. I eat more rice at one seating than garri. God I was grateful. I thanked her from the bottom of my heart like I always do. Even when she cooks something I don't like cuz I can be finicky with food, I still thank her for her effort. I cook so I know how stressful cooking can be most times especially in this generation of continuous everyday hustle. My stomach is feeling the after-effect of my gourmandism.

One thing I have always been very genuinely and deeply grateful to this couple for is food. The stress of cooking has been lifted off my shoulder. They combined, can whip up something when you least expect it, especially when I lack the means. Now my belly is full, my eyes are heavy, there's only one right thing to do, sleep. Ibe came back in after I have finished eating and was at the sleep station waiting for my train to slumber island. I can’t tell what happened next cuz I zzzzz….

Suddenly I was hysterically coughing and gasping for air. Instinctively in that fight or flight moment my body switched into action on its own and I sprang to my feet then rushed to the door. I could've sworn I was half asleep the whole time. My body overrode all instructions for it to sleep and fled to safety. What happened? What will I not go through in the hands of Ibe?

It was the insecticide fume suffocating me that caused my system to initiate the Save-the-king protocol. What sort of human being am I sheltering for Christ's sake? Is he that retarded or plain wicked? How can a creature that claims to be human spray such a high volume of insecticide fume in the room where someone was sleeping and didn't bother to wake the person first!! Was he planning to kill me with that? Well my God has foiled that plan. Seriously it’s from one ridiculously stupid thing to another. Even Amara didn't wake me.

When I stumbled outside Amara who was already there out of harm's way was just echoing sorry to me repeatedly. These insecticides fume cause me nasty headaches. Mosquito coil equally does same. I use these harmful chemicals sparingly because of hazardous effect on my health. If I had asthma, it would’ve been very catastrophic. Why won’t this guy use his head for once?

I can understand a small squeeze of the aerosol that is easily dispersed by the room ventilation. I just couldn't believe what happened. And you would think common sense is common. I stayed outside the longest waiting for the room to air out. Only God knows how much I inhaled before I woke up. When I got back in I told him to inform me first next time before he sprays. He didn't say anything. This guy is seriously forcing my hand. Why do I still put up with this barbaric behaviour?

His mind works in warped fashion. He can vehemently conclude that a simple act of placing a pencil on the table is connected to nuclear missiles of 1947 cold war and link it further to a future colder war. Is it paranoia delusion, complex, psycho or what? The worst part is how strongly he will believe he is right based on his highly nonsensical delusional postulation.

The night was young but I didn't know that. I just saw myself peeing, then it hit me. It was a dream. I sprang up. Did I just trickle pee on the bed? The first time I had this experience as a full adult, I had terrible malaria. Now what could be wrong? This is not funny. As I stood up and groped my way to the toilet I almost collapsed. Suddenly I felt a crippling dizziness. I was losing consciousness. I struggled to keep my eyes open, tried to keep my mind busy. What is going on? Could this be effect of large amount of insecticide fume I inhaled earlier? I fought my way out of the toilet staggering towards the wardrobe, I need to change my boxers. It was a very difficult task.

I thought of people dying in movies and how they say their consciousness desert them slowly or quickly leaving empty shell of their body. It can’t be what is happening to me now, is it? I managed to change and took a small polo shirt to dry the trickle on the bed.

While I was desperately fighting for my life my roomies were snoring or pretended to be. I believe until proven wrong that the insecticide fume I inhaled earlier was responsible for this attack on my consciousness.

Now I was even more afraid to close my eyes to sleep. Scared I may not open it again. I tried to keep my mind busy with any train of thought, no train came along. I prayed and prayed. I drifted in and out of the prayer. I’m sure I fell asleep in the middle of my prayer.

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My Beauty Sleep Cruelly Denied Me Wednesday May 15 2013

The morning is upon me but so was sleep. I stayed up late, I just can’t escape the punishment for staying up late can I? If only I had two more pair of eyes, there will be division of labour to make this work easier on the pair I already have. In as much as I have already donated my body to sleep giving it full authority to use, abuse and misuse my body as it pleases this morning, I couldn't sleep. What manner of mannerless of primates am I sheltering? One would think common sense is common but its not with this duo. Ibe and his wife were just walking up and down the bed where I lay rocking me back and forth. How can I sleep under this circumstance even if I a hospital of sleeping pills?

Since the room is always sandy no thanks especially to Ibe and his sandy sneakers he doesn’t care to clean properly. They go back and forth to the kitchen and bathroom more or less cleaning their feet on the bed. They are literally and cruelly using my bed as a foot mat. I've told them how unhygienic this was a long time ago but do they ever change? It was so annoying. You can actually get a frost bite in hell compared to how I seethed with vexation. At times like this I wonder what he learnt while growing up. I wonder hygiene habits they teach their children.

Wait let me ask you reading this, is it I'm being a nitpicker about this or is it normal for someone with brain to turn the bed to foot mat especially when you can effortlessly avoid it? I couldn't sleep even my eyes were so heavy with sleep. The book of curses has a new entry, it goes; ''May your children behave like Ibe'' I kept calm. I kept the molten magma boiling in my core from leaking to the surface. Is it the Lord's doing? I don't know. I just got up went over to the side stool in the corner hoping that sleep hasn't given up on me. If I were sleep, I would've given up on me eons ago.

When I got up and was literally tipping sands off the mattress Amara looked at me with a vague contrite expression as if she was momentarily forced into sackcloth then she looked away quickly. Is that a guilty conscience? Do they have conscience at all? They are like stark opposite of my ingrained desire for a clean and organised environment or earth. I won't be going to work today, more like I will work from home. I sat on that side stool which was now my bed. I didn't go into full sleep mode but I wasn't in full awake mode either. 

Time dragged by, time that I couldn't measure. My system finally loaded the wake up program. I browsed a bit on my phone. Ibe lay on the other mattress cooped over his phone. Moments later he dressed up and left. I lazed a bit trying to ease my frame of mind into the task ahead. I wanted to do a few DIY maintenance works. These people don't really give a rat's ass about the life of appliances when they use them. They use wares with careless and reckless abandon and its perfectly normal to them. First I relaid the carpet that flowed into the kitchen. I didn't do other section of the kitchen.

I washed the kitchen walls except one side. I also thoroughly cleaned the window, the dust on the window and mosquito net has gotten incredibly thick. I would say its now a face sore not just an eyesore. Of course if I leave it to them clean based on how frequent they use the kitchen, a dust storm will engulf the kitchen. As the wall sparkles my heart sparkled with gladness too, I just love a clean environment. I wished my situational roommates shared the same trait. I was exhausted after DIY task.

I sat on the bed to relax, my phone buzzed into life with a call from Ifeanyi that was when I realised I dozed off. Why won't I doze off after my beauty sleep was cruelly denied me this morning the Ibes. He was in the office. What made him change his mind? He wanted to send an important mail but the internet was sitting in my room. I dragged my fatigued 306 bones, flesh and blood package to the office. In one hour I was in the office. He did his thing and left. I stayed for a while before going home. I still haven’t finished the presentation, as a matter of fact I’m tired of the whole thing. It requires some key data and such information is not in the public domain. Why do I have to this tedious, somewhat unnecessary task? Why didn't Gavin at least send the word or PowerPoint version of the document?

Oh yeah I downloaded a part b of Iron Man 3 before heading out the office. I spent some time with Doc before heading home. Ibe and wifey were outside when I got home. They sprayed insecticide in the room and waited for it clear out. Wait what did I even eat today? Beats me! I didn't feel hungry like I normally would, oh well it’s all good. I dropped my bag went outside too. After soaking in some fresh air I got back in the played on ma lappie before my eyes closed of its own accord. Finally I had my beauty sleep to my soul content.

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Let The Sleeping Dog Lie Tuesday May 14 2013

I just couldn't get enough sleep in the morning, the usual suspect being I slept really late. I was up till after 3:00am. I can’t blame my system for wanting a little extra snooze time. I just lay there on the bed after I woke. I grabbed my open heavens to read but just couldn't concentrate. Ibe was already watching a series titled Suit and the television was a tad too high for me concentrate. I didn't bother to go that route of telling him to lower the volume. Just let the sleeping dogs lie. The rate at which they watch movies or television you’ll think their life depended on it like oxygen. I know sometimes it can be boring then one need to escape to the movies, but dude it is way too much.

Amara served us breakfast, white rice with stew. She hurried prepared and left. I finished my meal and put away my plate. Ibe finished and kept the plate aside just like he would drop pure water sachet anywhere. I got myself ready for work and left. I got to the office played two rounds of spider solitaire to put me in the mood. Next I worked on the presentation my boss left me with. I didn't do much browsing except for where I need data for the presentation and there are numerous sections that need Nigeria tailored data.

At around 3:00pm, I stopped work and started reading my workers-in-training manual. I have exam on Sunday this week, failure has never been an option. On top of that, I’m hungry. I don't have any cash at hand, the few kobos I have is held hostage by my bank. They call it savings bank account. The saving it for me they say but am I not saving them the problem of looking for cash to investment via loans or other investment instruments? And they make tons of money from my cash.

I wanted to go Shoprite for a meal, I weeded out the thought, later the thought infested my mind again. I set out to make the thought a reality but it was a bit late, I don't want to waste my time going only to view empty show case cuz it has happened to me before. It was on fine evening like this. I just went back to the office and packed my stuff, let’s call it a day fellas. I can always eat at Onye Mama's place, besides it saves me a few kobos too.

Oh I almost forgot I don't have a dime besides my transport fare, great!. I went to the nearest atm waited out the short queue then lawfully robbed myself and headed home. I got to my bus stop and only one path opened up to me, calling me. I have no choice in the matter. I just heed the call and followed the path. Guess where the path led me to? You guessed wrong. The path led me to Onye Mama's place. LOL! I ate and went back to see Doc. I can see clearly now that hunger is gone.

I felt like I was watching a boring television soap. There was nothing interesting to watch at channel Doc. I tried reading my manual again but the blasting speakers won’t allow. I went home. Nobody was home. Ibe came in shortly followed by Amara. He and dished some food before Amara came in. It was like they came in together. Amara said she was so tired that I can dish mine by myself, I said no problem. I watch a movie on my lappie after that I ate and slept off.

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Earth Songs Of Mother Nature Monday 13 May 2013

''Good morning Jesus good morning Lord. I know you come from heaven above. The Holy Spirit is on the throne. Good morning Jesus good morning Lord''. That's the song the Lord put in my mouth this morning. Lord I'm saying good morning to you. Thank you for making me see yet another beautiful day you have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. I read my open heavens and prayed. I showered.

While I was showering the rapture of Mother Nature captured my attention and I listened attentively to Mother Nature sing her soul caressing song via the croaking frogs, insects chirping, birds singing, breeze whispering as it rushes past my windows, the silence of the sunlight is a song to me, etc. Mother Nature’s choir was really busy this morning. It is a song that only those who appreciative of the little tings in life can hear and cherish with relish. Different voices were distinct all glorifying or saying good morning to their maker. I'm sure the rains must had some influence especially the frogs and toads' happy song. Has it always been like this and I don’t notice it?

It reminded me of life in the village. This is the abridged version of the sound of the village. In the village one is ever close and in tune with nature. A smile stole its way across my face as nostalgia wooed my heart. There's happiness and life in the simple things of life that we take for granted everyday. I miss these little things about the village. I cant remember the last time I heard a cock crow at dawn, the chirping sound of a cricket, the ever busy weaver bird, etc. I love the sound of the village. I love the smell of village too. It doesn't smell like pollution of the big towns and cities.

It's all good. Lord I appreciate you deeply. I dressed up and left for work while Ibe and Amara were cuddled up in bed. The weather is cold cuz of the rain last night, such a perfect weather for baby making practice. The road is flooded, so annoying. The more reason why I need to buy an SUV or a pick-up truck like ford ranger Toyota Hilux or my dream Toyota Tundra! The bus stop is full. I wonder why, probably the rain. Traffic is always terrible after the rain. There was traffic but at least its moving. Every bus stop we drive by is crowded. I was ten minutes late, blame it on the traffic. Whatever it takes I will ride a Toyota Tundra of the era some day or a similar pick-up truck.

Ifeanyi came in a few minutes later. He called Ugo who said he will be in office in a few minutes. But we know it means a few hours. He much later and dished out tasks. Mine was a bit tedious. Then he left for Abuja. Mehn we drank tea several times, drank several cups of water but no real food. We are broke lol. Just as Ify was on his third cup of tea, Chris called that he prepared rice and egg stew. We hit his crib at once like a sniper hits a target. He even prepared additional chicken and we ate full meal. Fayrouz drink was valuable to wash all down nicely. We watched cable TV a little thanked Chris and went back to the office.

A few minutes later Ify left. I left around 6:00pm. Funny shit happened in the bus on my way home. The bus was a VolksWagen transporter popularly called danfo in Lagos. It has three rows of seat at the back. Two of the seats were welded together but weren't fastened to the floor of the vehicle. There just three passengers sitting on the middle seat which was welded to the first seat. The driver instead of slowly moving from its parked position, it just sped off like a freaking rocket.

Then unexpectedly we got thrown backward onto the back seat, it was like a scene from a rollercoaster ride. There was nothing to hold to stop that seat from flipping backwards. The bus got filled up at the next stop so that freak flip won't happen again. I got to my bus stop in one piece.

Mother Nature's song still played in my head, it made a difference in my day. No matter what the day tried to be, the joy, happiness and gladness that Mother Nature put in my heart in the morning still glowed.

I spent some time with Doc and Caesar. Caesar succeeded in getting me jealous with his recant of helluva fun they had a the swimming pool yesterday. They were loaded. Folake and Ruth also went. I wanted to go but was indisposed sort of. I got home feeling tired. Ibe and Amara were at home. Mimi was in the kitchen cooking. I just went straight to bed.

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A Worker Deserves His/Her Pay Sunday May 12 2013

Thank God for life today. This is the day that Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. I went to the Lords house to worship him. He blessed me abundantly. I have never missed church service this year. That's a record for me. Lord I want to even deepen my christian life in truth and spirit. After service I had a good sleep. Went over to Caesar's.

I had a haircut later in the evening. Yeah I look fresh outta barber's shop now. Got home sprayed insecticide in the kitchen which is now being run by roaches. If only I can spray the insecticide continuously for at least two weeks they will be completely gone. After dropping the bombs on the roaches I went to shower. I was in the shower when Ibe and his wife came in. They stayed outside cuz of the fume of the insecticide. I felt fresher after the shower. I left the room too to get some fresh air.

I went and sat by our security post at the gate. That was how I unintentionally invited the young man pour out his complaint to me. He had a nagging issue with the self-imposed care taker of our compound which is my own landlord, Mr. Tony. Mr. Tony refused to pay him last month reason being he lost an old car battery for starting his generator. The security guy Peter is not finding it funny at all. I really felt for him.. Amidst his predicament is my own predicament of the asphyxiating stench reeking from his mouth, dude is drunk!

Though he is in control of his system to an extent but the inhibition to guard his mouth is gone. He has never talked to me about issues like this before. I saw a neighbour giving him some words of advice and encouragement earlier when I came back from the barbers. Now I know what it was about. I don’t blame him for being upset.

Frankly I strongly hate withholding someone's pay after the person has done the work, it’s an abominable, inexcusable and unforgivable crime in my books. A labourer deserves his pay for sake of equity. My cousin's nanny who quit under questionable circumstance has complained to me about her unpaid salary too. I don't care if he is my cousin or not he has to pay her salary arrears.

Somebody has already laboured and you are withholding her rightful bona fide reward for her effort, no I don't side with or condole such. Don't ever deny a worker his salary after he or she has done the work for you. It's a serious crime against humanity.

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Two Loaves of Bread Friday May 10 2013

I slept late, despite that I woke up early. I just lay on the bed. An event occurred last night that really shook me up in a creepy way. My hatred for creepy crawlies knows no bound. I stayed up late watching Inuyasha movie on my laptop, there was no power. No candle was lit, Ibe and his wife were already asleep or pretending to be asleep. I wanted to lie on the bare floor. I cleaned the floor with a rag, then I lay down.

Read: Dear Diary: Wednesday 13-02-2013

I felt something move softly as if I lay on something. I thought maybe it’s just my imagination. I felt the light movement again now I thought maybe a mosquito. Each time I feel it I will arch my back up a little and slam it down to kill whatever it was. The third time I couldn’t just ignore or take it for granted anymore, I gotta see the creature behind the movement. I took my phone turned on the torch and sprang up quickly at the same time flashing my light at the perceived spot and my blood chilled. I couldn't believe my eyes! I saw a fairly large centipede. like I felt goose boulders not even pimples populate my entire body surface from head to toe. JEEZZ!!! How the freaking hell did this thing get in here?

Read: Fumigation Didn't Get Rid Of The Nigerian Mosquitoes, What Next?

Oh well I know a plausible reason how it could've gotten inside. The filth-tolerant habit of Ibe and his wife has already caused cockroach and ant infestation, so it’s no brainer how this centipede got a free pass into my house. I felt so restless. As a kid I feared this creepy crawly. I heard they have a very deadly sting. The thing disappeared immediately. Luckily it showed up again within my killing range and I delivered a crushing blow. The irritation was sending chilling frightening messages through my nervous system. I felt like there are more of them lurking in the dark. I couldn't sleep again. I googled about centipede in granular detail for a considerable amount of my sleeping time. 

I threw away the corpse showered again and kabashed seriously. By kabashing I meant I prayed seriously before going to bed. It was a very horrible experience. Thank God it didn't bite me. I slept well considering my ordeal. It was the first thing I put on Facebook in the morning. Ibe and his wife went out to God-knows-where. I didn't tell them about my horrible experience, does it matter? I pray this horrible experience doesn't repeat itself.

I read the Open Heavens Devotional showered and left for work.

I got there on time, cleaned up the place. My boss and Ifeanyi came later with Ifeanyi being the last to come. Work progressed smoothly. I worked on my blog. I got some materials I want to use to rejuvenate my resume. I’m embarking on serious job hunt next week. It was a full house, Chris was in the office too.

Ifeanyi bought two loaves of bread but wasn't biblical enough to add five fishes to it. If only it was two loaves of bread and five fishes, we could've fed thousands of people. The was the only thing we ate throughout the day. We only finished one loaf though. I booked a Monday flight to Abuja for MD. He'll be gone for about four days. Up till now the triple play of Aero-GTBank-Interswitch are yet to refund my money. I sent them a fairly harsh letter threatening to take legal action if they don’t pay, don't know how long I can’t wait for them. Aero replied the letter immediately the delay or ineffectiveness/inefficiency was on GTBank's part. Same ol shit just a different day.

At the end of the day, one loaf still remained out of the the two loaves. I went home with it, you don't want the bread to spoil before Monday.

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The Lord Is My Strength Thursday May 09 2013

Looks like the devil and his demons wanna war this morning but the Lord is my strength, Psalm 28:7. He is always my strength. I woke early, yeah the new me. Now I wake my alarm. Doing some browsing on my phone. Where I lay on another mattress on the floor just minding my business, he just walked on the mattress to the door, the entire length of the mattress. As if that wasn't enough, when he came he repeated the move and additionally stepped on me without a word or gesture of sorry. I just didn't say anything, I just watched him.

The sun has not fully awaken so it was still a little dark. What stops him from saying excuse? There was no need to use the mattress as foot mat which they very annoyingly good at. Lately he has been posting really nasty but stupid updates on face which are subs at me but Im way better than replying such comments. Even if he puts it on my wall I won't respond to him. He can talk to me at home if really wants to not on Facebook. He is also attacking the wife accusing her of exposing her to me, a potential ''wifefucker.'' He even said it that in his words ''This guy is a very ridiculous human being. He can actually fuck someone's wife.'' 

He ranted and ranted and ranted and dressed up and left. Amara dressed up and left. I assessed the situation and pondered a while then showered, dressed up and left for work. My boss was already in the office when I got there. He doesn't look good. He got cold. I went out on one of those long windy tasks with the driver. I wasn't happy about it all, the driver was pleading with me to cool my temper cuz he totally understood this wasn't in no way a task for me. I was depressed. The rent and accommodation situation was the remote cause and this grocery shopping errand just made it worst.

Thought of my rent was really depressing me cuz I have no frigging clue how to pay. As if that is not bad enough the dude in my house who's behaving like a cursed individual like he self-proclaimed to be is trying to rub it off on me with his recent psycho, quarrelsome belligerent behaviours visibly fraught with frustrations. I refuse to be a victim of your misfortune. I didn't do anything evil by giving you a helping hand.

Ifeanyi came to the office in the evening. He said he wasn't going to come today apparently he changed his mind. Said he finished his appointment on time. Just before close of work they get into this discussion about accommodation issues. Ugo is always fond of talking as I'm not part of the team when such matters are being talked about. He will only bring up his case and Ifeanyi's. Sometimes I just table my own at once, let it be hashed or solved together. Other times my stare burns him back to his senses and he may just chip in my case like throwing crumbs to the dogs. If he forgets me easily now, how the hell can he remember me when the big pay day arrives? Money brings out the personality of people.

I went home after work. I went straight home changed and then came out again. Ibe and his wife were at home, obviously they've made up from their quarrel of this morning. I spent the evening with Caesar at Doc's shop. I finally went home around 9:00pm and slept off immediately.

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Ignore The Ignoramus Monday May 06 2013

I call today Ignore The Ignoramus Monday. I have finally gotten used to waking by 5:00am. Sometimes I wake before that time and then wake my alarm. I did a little laundry service to my swimming gear bed sheet. I played my songs and sang along while I washed. After washing the rain took the stage, I showered and continued my songs without the ear piece now. Knowing Ibe and his paranoid insecurity mindset, he probably thinks I’m playing the songs to mock him or to piss him off. I don't know where he gets some of his really stupid ideas from.

He started puffing around the room, brushing past me occasionally where I stood combing my hair like he's really looking for trouble this morning. Oh ye trouble maker get thee behind and beneath me. Then he started singing his own retaliatory songs. I completely ignored him, I'm very good at that. I didn't play my songs for that purpose and God forbid I stoop to that abysmal level to indulge in or entertain such moronic behaviour. 

Mama taught me better. I was wearing boxers doing multiple tasks that made it inconvenient to wear my ear piece. I put back my ear piece immediately I finished dressing up. He continued singing and mumbling things I couldn't hear cuz of my songs. I don't give a fuck anyway. He better step up to my level of intelligence cuz I will never stoop low to his level of stupidity! Best solution is to ignore the ignoramus!

I just waited out the rain for quite some time but it won't let up. I left for work eventually. This sorta thing irritates me. 'Mmadu o ga-eme ihe oma megburu onwe ya?' I got to the office around a few minutes to ten. The door was open but no one was in. Did I forget to lock the door on Saturday or what? There was no light, the gen is bad as usual. My boss came and we went to one coffee shop called Cafe Maison to work. I left with the driver to buy fuel and make bank deposit for Yahya. I used that opportunity to branch to my house to pick my atm card as I didn't any cash on me.

While we were buying the fuel, my phone came alive with one bank credit alert. My younger sister put N10,000 in my account. That’s very good news considering how I was at the moment and people owe me. We got to the bank and it was so crowded that the air conditioners couldn't keep with body heat being generated. The queue is long, curvy and confusing.What the hell is this?!! There's this guy hustling for a spot in front of me knowing fulling well he is behind. I just ignored the ignoramus, wait till this line gets moving and I'll get in front.

There was this aboki, i.e. a hausa dude actually in front of me, this dude reeks of something detrimental to my health. At this point I can't just ignore the ignoramus and suffocate. I left the queue for some fresh air.

My boss had already called cuz he needs to go somewhere. I asked the driver to go back, there's no point two of us wasting time here. I can use public transport to get back.

After what seemed like ages I deposited the money and went back to the office. There was electricity but the generator was still bad. I told Ifeanyi. And that was how I spent the rest of the day alone in the office doing really nothing. My computer wasn't there, no internet, my phone charger wasn't even there and my battery was down. I just arranged and organised the office. I went home at the normal time.

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Swimming Session Sunday May 05 2013

What is he saying?

Mehn! I didn't iron my clothes, no light. Oh yeah they brought light in the night but I was too involved, in love and devoted to my sleep to cheat on it to do anything else. I was so sleepy you have no idea. I fervently wished the power will still be on when I finally break free from the strong sleep spell. Unfortunately genie or the power that be didn't grant me that wish. I didn't know what to wear. I washed yesterday evening and the heaven blessed us with rain last night. The clothes on the line are still very wet.

I woke early but I was very late for church. I've never been this late before. I managed to figure out what to wear. We had the workers-in-training class then the service proper. The topic for the class was ''The Ministry Of Reconciliation'' A guest preacher ministered during the service. His topic was ''Foundations Of Giving''. It was very educative and incisive. He dint say anything about giving money to church in particular. It was humanity giving back to humanity/your neighbour in your own little way. It could be your time in any little way not necessarily money.

Caesar and Ruth

I went home after service to fried plantain Amara kept for me. I ate it with bread and was grateful though I didn't thank anybody. I called Caesar to confirm if we were going for a swimming session, he confirmed. Later we went to swim accompanied by Ruth and her friend Folake. Caesar's girlfriend came along too. Ruth is fairly loaded on the boobs side and average ass while Folake is fairly loaded on the thigh and ass side with average boobs. Wait, is this piece of info necessary or just a TMI? You decide. Folake can’t swim at all. I took turns with Caesar teaching her. Initially she was hesitant and afraid but later she picked up. She loved it and vowed to even herself with subsequent lessons.

During the swimming session some naughty about Ruth's boobs and Folake's body was busy having their own swimming session in my head. I don't mind swimming in the though for a while lol.

We all had a good time at the pool. We left the hotel, dropped the girls off ate their place and went to Caesar's place. I ate yam pepper soup. It was really spicy, I likey! It was the only normal meal I ate for the day. He asked about Ibe. I told him we were in a soured and strained state right now. He shared an encyclopedia of his experiences squatting different set of people over the years and vowed never to do it again. He mentioned that the only I reason I still keep them is sympathy which is true. He said alot of things which made a lot of sense. After all is said and done, the decision lies with me. I went home

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Golf Muscle Cramp Saturday May 04 2013

My body didn't want to wake up, it wanted some more sleep. Besides, it’s was a total wreck. The golf I played last Saturday has been playing my body especially my lower back. It aches like hell. I sit and stand slowly otherwise my scream will make the deaf hear and those who hear will go deaf. I have been rubbing a nerve ointment, its time I go to the hospital or pharmacy. I kept rolling on the bed, grimacing and wincing in pain.

Read: Awesome Golf Picnic At Lakowe Lakes: A Family Leisure And Bonding Time

I’m supposed to join the Road Warriors for our usual Saturday run. Nothing can stop me from running today, I haven't run in about a month. I ended up going very late. I was almost the last person to arrive unlike before. They were surprised to see me, my absence has really been felt. We ran. I didn't want to stress or stretch myself. I did something less than 10km instead of 15km. I felt so tired. My back is hurting me. I trekked almost 3km. I showered at Ugo's place slept a little and left.

Read: Most Essential Health Benefits Gained From Running Regular

Enque was writing a Haliburton job test at the Law School and we were supposed to meet today. She came after all, we spent some really nice time catching up. She looked very beautiful. She has a meeting some after my neighbourhood, she went for her meeting and I went home. I went straight to Onye Mama's place and ate garri and egusi mixed with oha soup. I went home showered again and slept some more.

Read: My Beauty Sleep Cruelly Denied Me

No one was at home when I got there. Ibe came in later, his entrance woke me. I drifted back to sleep in a matter of seconds. I woke finally around 5:00pm and washed my clothes. He left again as soon as I finished washing and went inside. It will appear like he doesn't want to be around me. Last night none of them slept at home.

Read: What To Do When The Help You Gave Is Giving You Hell?

According Amara's call to me, he decided not to come home when she told him she couldn't come home last night cuz of her engagements. Oh well to what purpose? To whose benefit? If it’s his idea of giving me privacy, it’s an illusionary endeavour. My true privacy and space control will only return when they depart. I went to Igbo Efon, stayed with Doc for a while before coming back.

Now It’s Your Turn. Please Don't FORGET To SHARE This POST; Golf Muscle Cramp Saturday May 04 2013 And You Friends Might Need It! Feel Free To Leave Your COMMENTS. Your FEEDBACK And COMMENTS Are Always Appreciated.

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MTN Bad Network Friday May 03 2013

Thank God It’s Friday. Thank God I’m Favoured! God woke me up nicely after a very good night rest. I did my ritual and lazed on the bed for a while. I’m not particularly feeling work today but choice staying home, I do not have. I went to work late today. My boss was already there. He didn't say anything. I’m getting lazy keeping this diary, I need strength to continue. Let not the laziness of those that surround me rub off on me in Jesus name AMEN!!

He is yet to pay my salary in full. Meanwhile he has paid the driver in full. I accompanied my boss to the bank and back to Shoprite. He paid me at Shoprite.

I went to MTN office to lodge my annoying network problem. I can’t make call or send text occasionally even when I have large chunk of airtime on my phone. I ended up spending a very large chunk of my time at their office. I wasn't happy at all. I came with mindset of if they don't impress me I’m porting to Etisalat. The guy I met admitted they are aware of the fault and they working on it, this response doesn't mean jack to me. He took my sim card and ran a few checks and told me the problem has been logged if it happens again I should let them know. In it English means ''Dude I/we don’t have any solution to your problem, let’s hope miraculously it won't happen again.'' At least it’s better than the blond bimbo head chic I met the last time I went and she clearly has no clue of figuring nor fixing the problem.

I went to Shoprite got my food. My boss called me later that I should give him some the salary he just paid me. He doesn't want to waste time on another bank withdrawal process. He needs it for the weekend and he will pay me back on Monday. I told him I had only N10000 left, he said he will take it. Meanwhile I still had all the money on me. I went Zenith to pay a debt I owed Charles Okechi my brother and friend. It was part of the money I borrowed to pay my school fees. I went back to the office. I gave him the N10000. He wanted enough money for his weekend, apparently I don’t need money for my own weekend, smh. 

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Work Resumes Thursday May 02 2013

Work resumes today, holiday is over. I woke up with a special air of satisfaction, air of pure peace of mind. I like this. I read my open heavens prepared for work and left. Ibe and his wife were still sleeping or seem to be when I left. Got to work early and as of 10:23am my boss and Ifeanyi are yet to arrive. What could be the cause? Is it hangover from fun of yesterday? I highly doubt that lol. Chris and Yahya are here with me working. They finally made it. Everybody felt so energized today. Could it be what happens after a day of golf?

I reflected on the only reason I still keep these people, PITY. The only thin thread of pity I have for them is being threatened. I’m well aware that if for some reason the accommodations I share with them no longer exist, they will find an alternative. Either by latching or “leaching” onto the next volunteer or victim but still I have that pity on them hoping they move into their own place. But Ibe’s recent detrimental behaviour is ferociously and corrosively corroding the letter Y in the pity I have for them until all that will be left is his self-designed unending pit to fall into. Let no one confuse pity for powerlessness. It’s not as if I don’t know how to forcefully kick them out but I still hope they leave like they came. They are really forcing my hand. Am I too kind, gentle/soft or stupid?

Who knows how this will end?

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Workers Free Day/PGA Golf Wednesday May 01 2013

Say hello to May 1^st workers free day. The day I have been waiting for. It’s the day I will shock the golf world with my latent talent. I will intimidate Tiger Woods off the green. Yes it’s going to happen today. I woke up on time. Yesterday I bought a brand new polo shirt for the game. It might interest you to know that I don’t know jack about golf besides the snippet of news that oozes from Tiger Woods’ successes and failures on or off the green. I haven’t played the game before. I have only managed to touch a club and ball before. But today Im gonna be Tiger Scopium lol

It’s been raining since last night. Dear RAIN why are you falling today of all days? Nevertheless, I prepared for the big game and lay wait for the good old rain to stop. I was supposed to rendezvous in Ugo’s residence in Lekki by 6:30am, I couldn’t go because of the rain. I called Ifeanyi asking him to pick me up from my bus stop instead. That’s actually cost effective for me. I waited for them. He was coming of Emeka his cousin. They arrived after about twenty minutes. The golf course is located somewhere called Lakowe Lakes in Lakowe community further down the Lekki-Epe expressway. I've never been to Lakowe before, I only heard the name just didn't know how it was spelt.

The resort is in a serene environment. I like the ambiance of the area, totally peaceful and in tune with Mother Nature. If not for anything, I would love to just soak in the air, chill on the green without a care or worry in the world. Let me give Lakowe Lakes a free ad here lol.

I’ve never been to this area before. It’s very far from Lekki. Lakowe Lakes is a nicely built area, secluded serene security conscious environment. I mean this place is in touch with nature. All of us came fully dressed like PGA players. We had breakfast, a buffet. One guy came with two chics that riled the men up. It added feminine flavour the occasion. A lot of people signed up for the 9 holes, majority of them don’t know jack about golf. We decided to do the driving range first to get familiar with the game before hitting the green. While we were having our breakfast, Ugo was like no matter what happens on the course no one should laugh at each other.

During the driving range, people literally rolled on the floor. It was so hilarious. Most of us were just digging a huge pit beside the golf ball with the clubs in a pathetic attempt to hit the freaking ball. Man the guys foaming Tiger Woods all turned to miniature wooden tigers that can’t do shit lol. A lot of pictures were taken and the diluted adult rated jokes flowed freely. We spent quite some time on the driving range before we played the nine holes proper. It was such an amazing experience for me, I’m certain the rest of the crew felt the same way. Team C which was my team was the third to play. Team C was made up of Yahya, Ifeanyi and I.

I saved the team a few times and screwed up same way lol. It was fantastic fun. Team B had Ugo Mezue and one other guy I can’t remember his name now. Ugo was in the habit unintentionally of taking the flag with him to the next hole as if the flag is a price he has won. We kept reminding him to keep the flag, it was indeed funny. At the end of the 9 holes game, Team B came first, Team C second, Team A third and Team D last.

We went back to the club house had a few drinks. Some people left for a tour around place on a cart, the cart wasn’t enough to take us all at once. The rest of us that missed the first group ended up not going again cuz the rain started doing its thing. Then it was time to leave. We all thanked Kobby for his excellent organization of the trip. We will reimburse him later as he covered our expenses upfront. I would love to do this often.

As a matter of fact I’m buying complete set of golf clubs, balls, and the whole shebang. I went back in Ifeanyi’s just the way I came. I stopped at Lekki roundabout to get something from the office. I spent quite some time with Doc after I left the office before going home in the evening. Amara prepared okra soup, we ate garri and soup again after a long break.

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Colleague Reunion Monday April 29 2013

I wanted to be early in office today so I woke up early. Read my open heaven and prayed. Showered and left for work. There was this nasty traffic that glued us to a spot. It was rather unusual this early in the morning, there must've some road infringement. Yep there was an accident. Slowly but sure we made it through the bottleneck.

The team that went to South Africa is back. I can’t say much about the business part of the trip but I’m damn sure that the pleasure part was so on point. Ugo bought food for everybody today. O boy no dulling here o. I ate double ration. But that was after everybody had eaten. Yahya did ajebo, he ate very little. He is the newest member of the Uhambo crew. He grew up in the north. Their family is famous for their cinema business in Nigeria. He left a few minutes after he ate....

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Why Do Some People Go To Church To Distrub?

Sunday April 28 2013
The night sleep was highly refreshing, I almost over did it. Having a full eight hours sleep has its mental health benefits. I woke up around ten minutes to seven. Man how sleepy I still feel. I need more sleep lol. I hurried lazily out of bed. As I was about to shower I felt a bit pressed to take a dump. What?! At this time?! For me taking a dump is like yoga. If you know the benefits of yoga, that is benefits of me taking a dump. I take my sweet time to do the service. I don’t have time for this now. Let’s keep it safety deposit box, more like fixed deposit account till I get back from church! I prepared for church. Long story short, I went late by a minute I believe.

We had the class. I enjoyed the Open Heavens as was taken by a fellow trainee worker though she has been long in that sorta service. After that service commenced as usual. Praise and worship took place.

As the choir was ministering through one lovely song, my neighbour came in accompanied with his girlfriend and settled beside me. I never expected what happened. This guy and his girlfriend were total nuisance in the church especially to me. They kept talking and talking like they were lounging by the bar. It was a non-stop session of talking, snickering, laughing and they didn't bother to keep their voice down. When we stand up to pray, they'll be sitting down completely devoted to their disturbance and nuisance in church.

I always ask myself why do people like this who cause nothing but nuisance in church bother to come to church anyway. What do they come to accomplish since they are not interested in the service? Is it to show there face and fashion? It is so annoying. They were agents of the devil period. They came just to distract people but it won’t work on me. Father forgive them for they know not what they do. I''m sure they do know this time. After service I went home. This guy has really made a horrible impression, his new reputation that of an unapologetic nuisance in church.

Bored. Hungry. Alone. I drank garri. Back in church I had this yearning urge to drink garri with salt that possessed me. I haven’t drank garri in ages but that was my expensive staple back in secondary school days. The benefits of having garri back then was immeasurable but students always abused drinking of garri. I drank the garri and felt so deeply satisfied. I simply obeyed my urge. I don't know how nourishing it was, my innards can explain that better. I holed myself indoors. I used that opportunity to wash my bathroom, left to Ibe, the place can look like a sewer and he will be perfectly comfortable with it. Not that I expect him to wash it, that’s like a pig to neaten up like a cat. His has his strength in some other department. 

One of my neighbours Egana called me, she is very cheerful always smiling good-looking girl. Her smile is contagious, too contagious for a single Nigerian man like me lol. She came to spend some time with me. I’m glad she came. Again thats a nice temptation for a single Nigerian man like me. I was pleasantly surprised too. We spent quite some time, talked at length, we learnt so much about each other. She left sometime in the evening. As she left I got on autopilot went to Igbo Efon to see Caesar. A few minutes after I arrived at his place, his babe served us a delicious healthy meal. You'll think I timed it but it was just my luck. UC a mutual friend of ours came over too.

We talked and talked, no actually Caesar talked and talked and....but not like the nuisance in church fellow. Mehn this guy never gets tired of talking. I admire him cuz he reads wide so he makes incredible sense when he talks but I don't always agree with everything he says. My eyes started going numb slightly. I had to leave. I went home and hit the sack head on. I don't know when Ibe came in the night.

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Presentation Of Open Heavens At Our Workers-in-training Class

Saturday April 27 2013
Today is the D-day I'm the class speaker to present the Open Heavens at our workers-in-training class. I got up prepared early. It will be bad if I get there late on a day like this. It is clear that the benefits of my increasing spirituality is visibly evident in my personal daily life. Finally the time came for me speak. I mounted the altar. This was my first time to speak or teach/preach from the altar, I let the class know that jokingly. At least history was made today. I was nervous, I also let the class know that. Then I took the class gracefully. Though I won’t give my performance perfect score based on how envisioned it, it didn’t quite go like that. I did well, I guess I set a high standard for myself. Next time I will surpass my expectation.

After the class we did a little sanitation activities against tomorrow's service. I came home a bit tired. I slept a little. Ibe cooked rice yesterday. Amara traveled so he is essentially a pure single Nigerian man now lol. I didn’t taste it yesterday. I ate some today. I rested up a bit then waged my long awaited war on the roaches. It was really intense. And it was very fruitful too. I have to do this every day for two straight weeks at least. A wall gecko was caught in the cross fire, that’s a bonus for me. Ibe came in just as I was about cleaning the menace of the roach carcass in the kitchen. After I was done cleaning, I went out.

I went to Igbo Efon to Doc's place. Caesar was there as well. So we hung out for a while. Austin came around and bought us beer. Well that’s nice of him. I didn't stay too long before heading back. I went home to prepare myself for church tomorrow. I ironed what I wanted to wear. I slept off while studying the topic against tomorrow's worker-in-training class.

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